I sit on the bathroom floor
Though there's not much room in here
It's the only place I can truly be alone
I'm crying
But not tears of sadness or joy
Not pain or anger either
The tears are of nothingness
They form for no reason
They fall for no reason
At times when they fall
I may be reading a text from my bf
Or a book I've read a thousand times
I do not know why the tears come
They just do
My eyes don't get puffy when they come either
No one can even tell I've been crying
For no reason
I welcome the tears though
Cause I know they may have just been Tears I was meant to cry before
When something bad happened
But I had to stay strong for
My youngest sister
I had to comfort her
No one else could
They were too busy crying themselves
So that's why I didn't
So that's why I let the tears fall
I know one day they won't fall again
But I dread that day
Cause that would mean
Something bad has happened
And I'll be back to square one

I sit on the bathroom floor
Though there's not much room in here
It's the only place I can truly be alone
I'm crying
But not tears of sadness or joy
Not pain or anger either
The tears are of nothingness
They form for no reason
They fall for no reason
At times when they fall
I may be reading a text from my bf
Or a book I've read a thousand times
I do not know why the tears come
They just do
My eyes don't get puffy when they come either
No one can even tell I've been crying
For no reason
I welcome the tears though
Cause I know they may have just been Tears I was meant to cry before
When something bad happened
But I had to stay strong for
My youngest sister
I had to comfort her
No one else could
They were too busy crying themselves
So that's why I didn't
So that's why I let the tears fall
I know one day they won't fall again
But I dread that day
Cause that would mean
Something bad has happened
And I'll be back to square one

A dreadful thing comes into your life
You might have to go under the knife
It can spread
It's in her head
It is going to **** her
It is just going to transfer
I can’t afford to lose another
I can't lose another grandmother
She beat it before
Can she take more?

In the silence, I sit and ponder,
It fills up most of the day,
It does me no good to wonder,
Why my mind leads me astray.

The tablets in the morning,
Are doing me no good,
These feelings strike without warning,
And stay longer than they should.

Harsh words echo inside my brain,
From a conscience full of hate,
Regret flows through my veins,
I lay awake at night and shake.

My life plays out before my eyes,
Every moment drenched with shame,
I cry and cry and try to dry,
Theses tears packed full of pain.

I think of the people who I’ve let down,
The times I chose myself instead,
Why do they still keep me around?
I wish that I was dead.

I beat myself up daily,
I never suffer enough,
How long can you hide? I pray thee,
Behind a masquerade of trust.

My knife starts to vocalize,
It’s stunning sirens song,
It wants to sink so deep inside,
I know it won't be long.

My emotions switch from bad to worse,
I can’t control the way they play,
They pull no punches and aim to hurt,
Soon I can’t see through the rage.


My blood, it boils at the sight,
It hurts my eyes to see,
My imagined, alternate perfect life,
Could it have been this way for me?

No matter what I do or say,
Nothing ever seems to change,
The emotions will eventually fade,
Will I still be the same?

Will I fail, will I fall?
Can I deal with it if I do?
What’s the point of it all?
These questions help to tie the noose.

There’s nothing left to do for me,
So here I sit and here I stay,
I’m too scared to take the knife and see,
What lies beyond the grave.

I guess I’ll wait and carry on,
Waiting for the sacred day,
I’ll keep singing this pathetic song,
Until the time life takes me away.

tears feel good on my raw, cut skin
maybe that's why i cry so much