Contentment,
you're never alone

I know you’ll just be okay
When you work
Till your whole being shivers
With exhaustion
And your eyes cloud
With salty perspiration
And you push yourself
Into that one last lap
And keep pushing for another-
And yet another.
I know you won’t fall;
That much faith is essential.
And, wherever you trip,
You don’t tread on again.
With all those lessons
You’ve learned on your way,
You know you’ll just be okay.

Im thankful for the hurt. I’m thankful for the pain. I’m thankful for the lessons provided. I’m thankful for the low valleys. Thankful for the tears, confusion, thankful for the lack of.
Because without any of that, I wouldn’t have what I have now.
I wouldn’t be confident on all the levels I am. I wouldn’t be nearly as strong. I wouldn’t be as wise. I wouldn’t be able to see that I’m now on the highest of mountain tops, and STILL climbing. I wouldn’t be able to tell my good days from my great days. I wouldn’t know the feeling of relief, satisfaction, and comfort.
I am so thankful.

Did I figure it out?
I loved him more than I loved myself.
Everything I did was for him, because of him. Everything I did was to make him happy and what he wanted because I thought,
if he was happy, I’d be happy.
But that wasn’t the case, what made him happy didn’t make me happy. But I kept trying endlessly and didn’t understand,
but was more confused as to why we both weren’t happy together rather than why I, myself, wasn’t happy.

"I love poetry",
                        I say
                                 as I sit
                                             crying
                                                       in my bed.
                                                                         Love
                                         what these words
                         do to me.
The feelings
                     that I get
                                      in my body
                                                     and my head.