Confidence hides inside you waiting to be found
Search your soul and use your courage and love to back you up
Once you've found it it's easy to lose because it makes you feel safe and sound
Dont use all your confidence in one go but save it and use it for important times

Hope the feeling of worthlessness flees my worried frame

Can you make my brain stable?

When you know the security code
Punch into my mental keypad
No other combination of words will silence the alarms of self-loathing blaring within
Ricocheting off the walls of my skull
Echoing each and every flaw exposed in myself

All it takes
One little thing to trip the sensor
And it hurts my whole defense system

You are the one able to disarm my security
And the reason is because you installed it
I had no method of protecting myself before you put me in your perspective
Now when something breaks through defense mechanism
Instead of letting confidence get stolen
Triggered noise helps me block out the negativity and focus on things I do like about myself
Then to revert my day back to normal completely all you have to do is enter the magic passcode with a sweet whisper in my ear
"You're beautiful"

they choose to not believe in me. my curiosity heightened, I wonder... will they always? by asking that, it may appear as if my existence solely relies on the convictions from others, but that is not so. to fret now, about the wariness of others, would deter all that I know. let me add that there are many moments I've shared with them. there was warmth. there was clutter. iridescent faces crowded the walls with ***** looks. the air embalmed with rosemary and ashtrays. but there is much they don't understand. they don't know the song of the neon lights. they don't know the thoughts of a clouded mind. they choose to not believe in me. my curiosity heightened, I wonder...are they foolish?

be well,
bcb