Four hobbits are to do one thing...
Two flex and look commited.
Two whine, while clinging to a ring
They have been tasked to yeet!

How many hobbits must it take
To dispossess a nay-lord?
Up to what Gendalf can't forsake
Due to increasing payload.

I have become a tyrant beyond limits!
Man prostrates, elvish people begs.
Alas, I have a mortal weakness.
Short people with absurdly hairy legs.
There's nothing in this world beyond my power,
There's nothing in my sight beyond my grip.
But **** this helmet that resembles static tower.
I cannot register the men below 5 feet.
If only I could tilt my head a little,
I could have spotted little rascals go!
I could have stayed forever ancient evil
Whilst having healthy posture over all!

water
a place for a lemon to make lemonade
Maybe add all this sugar
it’s cheat day today
and it’s your birthday

Sweet tooth to being smooth
Just speak the truth
and you’ll be cool
nobody likes liars

lets talk about what’s required
Lemons are just a mock to limes
how actors are a mock to mimes
but that’s off topic lets get back to limes

limes are chill
and they’re not like that bitter person you see on the street
it’s like a treat
lime water is fresh
but here’s the twist to this whole poem
you know what actually sounds better?
a watermelo

Bob Dylan’s hats mean more to me than a requited lust for fame.
On our screens over the summer months,
with it’s logo slapped obnoxiously onto the water cooler -
covering more pressing concerns.
As people rant and rave, the so called stars of the show are prominent for a matter of days.
In their fifteen minutes of fame they become better recognised than a man called Dave.
Some are hated for things they have said or done.
trending on twitter and being memed from day one.
But as the winter solace rolls into place
Everyone forgets the familiar face
that pranced and clapped on morning TV
What was his name again who was he?
What once was a Dave is more like a Huxley or Mort.
He was far too easy to replace, when fame hit abort.

When
my first girlfriend broke up with me

she
was as cold as

the very vacuum of space
she said

                that I ****.

Get into my Hyundai
I call it my Ferrari
It goes hard when I'm at the wheel
Take me for a test drive
I'll show you how it feels
A body so hot it will make you melt
I'll take you to heights
you've never even felt.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Hey, hey, been racking my brain
Thinking of something to say
about my confusing sexuality
Sorry for leaving you guessing
because not figuring it out
gets kind of depressing
Am I right, or am I right
Not sure I can't decide
Don't think I'm Bi
All of this thinking
Is hurting my head
So let me put it this way instead...

Doesn't matter if I'm straight or gay
Don't get laid anyway
Every time I try, get the evil eye
Looks like another night
For Me, myself and I
It's alright girl, always get the same reply
Thanks for giving me a little of your time
To ask the question, if you're interested in some sexin'
Thanks for a little of your attention
Thanks for your rejection
It's just another night
For me, myself and I

And my Pornhub search is very extensive
Lucky I'm not a subscriber,
that would probably be expensive
Premium's what you need, Nah not me
I like it like I like my women, free.
And this attitudes why you aren't getting any
Sorry just a guy with a little decency
Can you hear me on my ***** frequency
And imagery plays in sequence
And ****** thoughts become more frequent
I'm a bad, bad, bad boy
And lately, all these ****** references are flying out my mouth
Better get the soap and wash it out

Doesn't matter if I'm straight or gay
Don't get laid anyway
Every time I try, get the evil eye
Looks like another night
For Me, myself and I
It's alright girl, always get the same reply
Thanks for giving me a little of your time
To ask the question, if you're interested in some sexin'
Thanks for a little of your attention
Thanks for your rejection
It's just another night
For me, myself and I

All these ****** jokes
Got my colleagues rolling there eyes
Just kidding, they're laughing on the floor
With this little creeper
It's all right girl, I won't hassle ya
So you can hustle my heart
break it, so I can turn it into art
Think I just set a new bar
A new record has been set
Not sure, I'll ever top it
Just like I can't get on top of anyone
That's why I'm left singing
Not pretty enough
And if you got that reference
I salute you
Don't laugh, because it's true

Doesn't matter if I'm straight or gay
Don't get laid anyway
Every time I try, get the evil eye
Looks like another night
For Me, myself and I
It's alright girl, always get the same reply
Thanks for giving me a little of your time
To ask the question, if you're interested in some sexin'
Thanks for a little of your attention
Thanks for your rejection
It's just another night
For me, myself and I