We are almost lovers, our vibes nearly in harmony
Time was something we wished we kept in a jar
If young promises are tomorrow vows in ceremony,
Then why do I keep watching you two from afar?
These pews looked like tall walls of maturity
Keeping me away from the temptation to intervene
I promised to not let go, let it flow, desperately
But why today is what we could've been?
I forgive you and myself for everything
This is the ending, a closure, faded old picture
I know we could've been something
But I know today is a farewell to treasure

I don’t know why I miss you
It’s truly a mystery to me
But seeing your face,
Hearing your laugh,
Brought back some feelings anew.

When you told me you thought I was fine
That eventually I had no tears to shed
You didn’t know the pain I felt
In my heart and in my head.

And how could you know?
It’s not like you were there.
But every time I saw your face,
I was filled with despair.

You said, you thought I was happy,
That I was over you,
Done.
But that day you saw me smiling
At night all my feeling were piling
Up in my heart and it felt like I couldn’t...
Like I couldn’t even breath,
Laugh,
Sing.

And now I’m here,
Years later.
A new person,
A proud person.
And you...
More poised
Happy
Content.
But what’s funny is all the ways we stay the same.

I’m thankful for the time we spent
A chapter that finally feels closed.
You were once my moon
My stars.
And you still shine brightly
You’ll never completely fade,
But now our lives can see brighter days.

I’ll never forget the love we shared.
You were my first.
You taught me lessons,
And somehow you still do,
That I can use in my new adventures.
And though you may be gone,
Though we may not speak as much again
You will always
Forever
Perpetually
Be my friend.

Not reaching
Not arriving at

but going through,
continuing past
this end

on to the next

ready for any number of ends that I may meet and greet and then pass, thanking them, but not being held by them

saddened by them
but not brought down by them

rather, finding myself a lot stronger and a little wiser, I walk on to find my end that will always be ahead of me past these ends.

i keep forcing myself.
i keep forcing myself to think that i still like you.
that i still love you.
im chasing something that isnt real.
im trying to light a matchstick that has already been lit
bu i pushed that thought aside
and thought maybe, maybe a mere spark might just emanate
the dull object.
maybe because i dont want closure.

It was somewhere  between
her third and forth ******
when the wall, came down;
a wall  she didn't even know existed--

                   A wall, that is,
    until love came to town.

And so it is,  within the pleasurable;
   when mixed with pain,  
   in certain moments;   
becomes,  quite obtainably
the death, of death..

within the loving-kindness
         of things known, anally--

        (the tenderness of a back-door man
        is a righteousness, all it's own),
        as  it is the intentions of the heart
        that brings one  closest,
        to that   of kingdom, come.

And yet.. an angelic, front-pew voice
   singing praise
   when heart-- unchecked,

can become a clanging sound, unholy;
drowned out, by the passion-screams
of the one,  once-bound--

        but now,  breaking free.
        (a truly righteous sound in Heaven,  indeed..)

        --and Love,  Love,  Love;
        is rarely what we think it otta be.
        (or maybe, there is a heretical-hell
        waiting- for those  just like me.)

But if what passes itself off as life,
is actually Life, indeed    
                 then I choose hell, (yes. again, indeed).
And if heaven, for most.. is nothing, but a crutch
I'll choose death, over death, every ****** time..

                                           thank-you-very-much.

Let your losses be losses
And just sew up the hurt
Where it bleeds

-JP