She planned it and said

goodbye to each of us, as --


we later found out.

When people can’t save value
     In their money system, because
          Of debasement of the currency,
               Then they learn to save in assets.
                    Houses remain the top choice to
                         Save and preserve monetary value
                              Which leads to higher priced homes
                                   Therefore
                              If we have a hard money that holds
                         Value then people can simply save
                    In money and home prices will drop
               To the normal utility value of a home
          This will make homes more affordable
     For more people across the world
Bitcoin is the hard money solution

Once dubbed 'number two,' a label, a haunting echo, a constant reminder,
From a third year’s Scrabble match that left me second best, the genesis of a nickname I hated.

The bitter taste of second place, a memory stark,
A reminder of striving, of yearning, yet falling short.
Averse to the shadow of 'not quite,' 'almost there, but...'

It's funny how being second haunted me,
Always striving to escape my past and secrets.
I've hidden the truth about my family,
A split that's more than what the world knows, I’ve always been ‘the secret child’
A narrative whispered, diluted, for ears unacquainted.
Universe never seize to mock me with it.

Contemplating the roads I could have paved better,
Guarding what was precious, fortifying with fervor,
I’m here , pondering the 'what ifs' and 'maybes,'
A lament for the present, with heavy eyes and teary-eyes. Regrets linger for not trying harder.

Three years invested, hopes were shattered,
I don't blame you for trying to rebuild, giving it another try.
Instead, I blame fate, the ‘Universe’ A relentless orchestrator, marking me perennially 'two,'
Even when love briefly eased the burden.

Now, in the quiet of night, in sorrow's embrace I write,
Words once sweet now tinged with pain,.
I've been through a rollercoaster of emotions,

For days now, you’ve witnessed my descent and ascent, I blamed you, I tried being strong, became a wreck, got drunk to prove a point, isolated , sought validation from internet, found myself overwhelmed by the attention and tried to convince everyone ‘I’m fine’,  I felt numb.
Right now I’m just a shattered soul seeking solace in poetry’s embrace.
Every emotion, a verse, every thought, a line inscribed, writing seems to be my only solace.

To the boy I loved and wanted to give it all to, I’m thinking of you and I just want you to always be happy, being second doesn’t mean I can’t still be your number one cheerleader.
We always thought alike and wanted the same things; I do not wish to hate you as you don’t want it too.
I want to keep you as much as you want to do with me ,
Let's move past this, erase the awkwardness,
Let not animosity tarnish what affection once graced,
I hope we can salvage our friendship soon.

Life is a state of mind,
A merry go round of your choosing,
That either brings tears of joy,
Or screams of terror,
Peace,
Or Drama.
One you can never depart,
Until that one concluding breath.
Will you look back on the well trodden path
With recollections of joy,
Or regret?

One step in the soft concrete
and the direction you turn from there
will shape decades.
You may find the very place,
step there again, walk over it;
turn again.
It is the same pavement noticeably
worn by micro erosion, cracked
by the hard ice of twenty winters.
The place is the same,
the space is changed—
shaped as it is now
by twenty years of urban development.
Some buildings provide
familiar shelter,
others drip stormwater on your head
from strange appendages.
Stand there
if you can spare a moment.
Turn again.
No pavement lasts forever;
concrete is liquid
and can take decades to dry.

When I said, "I can,
I'm asked, how possible?
The moment I said, "I can't,"
The agreeing nod was audible

Obama did it...
You are not Obama!
Likely to fail like Edith
Sure! The poor bar man

I was taught
To stay positive till the end
Took my choice off the wrong thought
once I know, it's all just in my head

The agreeing thought was audible
The moment I said, "I can,"
I'm asked, how possible?
Yet I said, "I can".

I don’t do sides
–--- I’ve chosen my side
at least not yours
–--- and it’s not yours
They’re too far apart
–--- I choose peace
and no thread will mend
---- it’s not yours to decide
the chasm you defend
---- this choice is mine

I had to do it,

but the choice I made felt like --


someone else's coat.