ill love you again and again without fail
but it's not enough is it?
love doesn't fix wounds
and I haven't got the patience to watch you heal.

The waves grew rough

as the strings started to break

my hands held too long that it started to bleed

"Hold on.." i said as i felt his hands glide.

"I can't.." he said as he removed my bleeding hands from his.

"This boat is too small for two people, you have to let go." i felt the sinking of the boat as my tears started to fall i realized,

maybe he was right..

I was too selfish for my own good that i forgot what mattered most..



HIM.

The  one i want to share my dreams with.

HIM.

The one i want to be with in the future..



Crestfallen and gradually i asked him. "Do you still.. love me?" Every word killed my very being, afraid of the words he'd say.

He kept mum.

I felt this queer feeling- the feeling of being worthless.

My heart aching from so much pain.

My hands throbbing from holding too long.

Little did i  know it was me.

It was me who needed the saving.

"You chose your dream and now you lose me." He looks over to his shoulder as he heard a yacht coming.

And still, he chose to leave me at my worst.

The day my lover died,
the room painted in red.
What was once love; love-deprived.
Colorful memories broken into fragments of red.

Gun pointing at me, emotions freed
My lips; sing the song we once sang.
Nerves twitched and muscles spreed.
Silence responded after a loud bang.

You died in my heart the day you walked away.
And I've never believe in reincarnation
So don't come back saying 'I am sorry'
The day my love died; memories now imagination.

The day my lover died.
What was once love; love-deprived.

- Wesley West

The ghost of you is seen
Everywhere
It’s seen in the toothbrush you left
In your hurry to leave me
It’s seen in the flowers you picked
Just two days ago
When you said you loved me
And forever would be ours
The book you left on the coffee table
And the little bookmark inside
With your doodles on it
The ghost of your hand
On my palm
Your shampoo lingers on the pillow
In the bed we shared
I see you everywhere
In almost everything
It’s painful to know
That you’re still here
Yet not in any way
That has anything to do
With me.

The time has come,
That happiness has ran its course,
And now depression has come back to me,
But what she can’t see,
Is that the darkness in me is to deep
And too steep,
I can’t understand why my love is to strong,
Why it hurts for me to love
Between the beautiful dove,
The dove that drove us
Through hell and all,
Can we roll the ball once more,
Can you give me another chance,
Yes being your friend is nice and all,
But the pain that you cured,
It helped me to stir the happiness with in,
I know you don’t understand what I do,
I know you don’t realize that all I want is your love,
All I want is you.

today is your birthday.
a year ago today we were on the phone,
at this exact time.
5:00am.
we had been talking since 9pm,
but time flies when you're having fun,
or in my case,
when you're in love.
i remember exactly what we talked about.
how much my parents loved you,
and how much your mom loved me.
how badly we wanted to have our families meet.
and how bad we had always wanted to go to florida.
together.
or go to universal studios
and take pictures in front of hogwarts.

yesterday i watched your instagram story.
and guess where you were?
in front of the hogwarts castle.
i know i can't be mad
or shocked that i wasn't invited.
you're touring with your new best friends.
meeting more people.
more girls.
prettier than me.
better than me.

however, we exchanged our first words in months.
i snapchatted you to say
happy birthday. a civil thing.
i didn't think you would answer,
so it nearly gave me a heart attack when your name popped up.

"thank you so much, lex. miss you."
that's all you said,
followed by a yellow heart.

i know you don't miss me,
and that was all out of pity.
maybe you want to feel better about leaving me behind.
maybe you know how badly i'm hurting.
but,
maybe you might actually miss me too.
i doubt it though.

boys like you don't love
girls like me.

boys like you don't kiss
girls like me.
not anymore at least.