I saw you cross the street with her.
She's so pretty.
I didn't know...
You had someone.

I don't know why,
I don't feel the need to cry.
This time around,
Maybe I'm ready to move on.

When I saw my heart stopped.
When you crossed the street.
Her doe eyes killed me,
You never looked me in mine.

Maybe I'm not so ready
To move on.
Maybe I won't cry this time
Because I've died.

In the silence where you once breathed, I wait,
As shadows of you haunt every quiet place.
The sun, it rises, but feels too late,
And my heart, like a shattered glass, loses grace.

The threads of laughter we spun with care
Now unravel into tears, slow and raw.
Your whispered promises linger in the air,
But they crumble like leaves in autumn's maw.

How can I hold you in memories alone,
When each thought of you is a knife, a thorn?
In the ruins of us, I stand alone,
A broken soul, a heart worn and torn.

If I could keep you, just one last embrace,
Maybe this sorrow would dare to part.
But now all I have is this hollow space,
Where you once lived—deep in my heart.

I got on the bus alone today
and almost no one else was on it.

As it neared our campus the setting sun
hit the window so right, sending a golden corona
across the dusty seats,
bathing us all in this brilliant golden light.
Brown eyes turned to honey, blue ones to oceans—
a handful of minor gods and goddesses
on their way to class,
in sweatpants and backpacks.
It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

None of us wanted to pull the cord to stop,
but finally, someone did,
and I had to get off.
I feel alive on the bus, I feel alone at midnight.
I am the princess of the bus.

I make my boyfriend Aiden worse without intending to.
I make a lot of things worse without intending to.
I think that if I just spent a lifetime on the bus,
circling round and round at around 6:30 p.m.
I would cause a lot less harm on this planet.
But someone always pulls the cord, even if I don’t.

Aidan won’t pull the cord and neither will I.
We might be riding this bus for a long time yet.

Asked me to never leave ,
Said you just wanted love
Your past made it hard  to believe
My past had me giving up
I wanted you to see
That you where always enough
So I Reopened my scars
And started to bleed
My past mishaps
The hidden history
Ripping them open
For you, but the world's could see
Still not enough because
Your trauma ran deep
Filled with insecurities down to the core
Your beauty unique and I needed more
The cost to succeed
Is fabled in lore
Wanted to be your Hercules
Struggles I endured
As new scars where taking form
I started feeling weak
Realizing in that moment
To save you would mean loosing me
I start to think
maybe I should walk away
Then your words clearly rang
You asked me to never leave
So your hero I will stay
It took every drop I had
When I had nothing left
you rose like a queen
Filled with my love
You started to leave
In your eyes you conquered the beast
No hero came Your enemy was me

You made me feel lonely
What you did was very ugly
I loved you and you cheated on me
In fact, you BETRAYED me
Because of you, did I go into depression
Very very wrong, were your actions
Thanks to them, greatly did I suffer
For me, not even one bit did you care!

You made me feel lonely
I thought you were lovely
How cruelly did you prove me wrong
My suffering was quite long
You drove a wedge into my heart
And tore it apart!!

You made me feel lonely
And treated me very badly
Thanks to you, did my self-belief shatter
Because, you struck at my very core
Sending shockwaves all over my soul
And effectively trapping me in a prison cell!!

You made me feel lonely
While you played a game coolly
Trying to destroy my relationships
With my family and my best friend
And trapping me in a toxic relationship
Which seemed as if it would never end!!

You made me feel lonely
But I came back strongly
Thanks to my sister and my best friend
To your twisted games, did they put an end
You tried to break me
But my goodness set me free
While you will eternally feel guilty
For your treachery and infidelity
Yes, you made me feel lonely indeed
However, from the trauma have I recovered
And learnt a lesson for life
Goodbye forever, my "poor little" ex-wife!!

Remember how I looked to you,
To tell me I'm not mad?
However, I was not in view,
The best you'd never had.
I walk, your kisses on my lips,
I walk with your words, forward,
Fate declines the power trips,
And love is untoward -
I can't find you in every glass,
I can't see you in that window,
In every chance that never'd pass,
For I cannot be their widow
Like I'm yours.
Like I'm yours.
Like, I'm yours.
Like. I'm yours.

When I first saw you, I don't know what I thought. Your hair was straight, and your bangs swooped to one side mearly covering the corner of your eye. You were talkative, clearly not my type. And yet, we held engaging conversations for 3 hours. I had forgotten your name, but I thought it would be nice for you to be my friend anyway.

Time passed and you opened my mind up to a lot of things, like not settling too young. You said you wanted me, and yet would not give me such a committing title as to say Girlfriend. I pushed you to like me. I was in such awe of you.

You were talented. I encouraged all of your successes. But I didn't see your true talent. You were talented in other ways that were malicious.
You were with two women. You were out with me by day, and talking with her at night. Confused about which one you liked more.

But it wasn't even about which of us you liked more. It was a game of chase. You waited to see which one of us would run after you the most.

Even after you gave me the long awaited title, you didn't tell me reasons you liked me other than the fact that I had won. Like you were some big prize at a carnival I had wasted all of my tickets on all the games trying to win a version of you. The version I thought was cool, and a version I could adore.

I wouldn't say it was a facade, or an illusion, or an illustration in my head. The version of you was real, but it was simply not the only version.

Some nine months later, you had declared a new version of yourself. One you said was better than all the others. One you claimed was going to be the final one. I had to grieve for the old ones, but had to accept the new one quicker.
I went to all of your appointments. Every doctor you had visited. Helped you develop your voice. Encouraged you when you got discouraged. And yet I was so discouraged.

You buried yourself. In other people, and in other things, never turning to look at me. I was helping you find your voice yet your voice would never speak to me directly. There was always someone else you rather talk to.

I found my solice in a few other people, too. When you took notice, that voice i never heard towards me, would suddenly boom into my ear as a loud sob. Also admitting all of your promises to me would be lies.

I was a Villan now. Untrustworthy. But had you not done the same? Wasn't it you who started it? Had it become another game?

I'd like to think I got good at the game, however I was still playing by your rules, and you were still the ruler. I had tried to cut the strings many times but you were still my puppeteer.

As I slept with one eye open, expecting you to scream at me in the dead of night- as you often did- I wondered, was this a new version of you, or was this your true version all along? Was this who you were when I met you? Was the adoration I had for you since the start...delusion?

You scream and you sob, and yet I can't hear you anymore. Your voice was hoarse and strained, and had becoming nothing more than white noise like rain on my metaphorical window sill. All the rain- the sobbing, and I still couldn't sleep.

I started to hear voices in an empty room. Angels? Hallucinations. You had encouraged I take a sip of alcohol, but the sip turned into bottles, routinely. And yet I still couldn't sleep.

I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. I grabbed a knife I had stowed in my pocket, just to see if I could still feel such human pain. As the blade mearly touched my skin I wondered, how deep could I go? Now a scar I carry with me for the rest of my life.

Maybe you were my hallucination. Every bad day, bad experience I had in a person. I feel like it was training. Training me for the types of people I might encounter in my lifetime. Teaching me how to solve such a problem.

Did God give you the right for such an act? Such false promises and falsettos? I still cannot think of a reason for all that I endured. And will continue to search for one.

I've said some bold words in my time -
Made tragedies of pantomime.
I've kissed some morons in my day -
Too young I thought I'll lose the hay.

I lived as the greatest lover
(Or the most pathetic, rather) -
Mad walks in the rain and letters
Oft took judgement from my betters,

Let's add to the pile morn roses,
Bookshop rushes ere it closes,
Philosophy and late night talks,
And still more mad, but sunny, walks,

Journeys on the train to Glasgow,
Two tickets to Panic!'s last show,
Bekhôled reading Thomas Hardy,
Sapphires costing a fair farthing,

And now, and then, in your study,
I'd be your debating buddy,
Then your patient, then a girl:
An embrace set you in a whirl.

Our first kiss was in tears, my love,
Our confession was at a shove,
Our first handhold was without hope,
You always said we had no scope -

And yet you'd loved me, lover mine,
Or begged for it upon my shrine,
Conceived it in my breast of stone -
You conquered, and I lost, and won.

I never spoke more equally
With any man, but now my plea
Falls down on your attentive ears
As would a rusted pair of shears.

I do not mean to **** you, love,
I meant to raise you up above
The idol that my head construed -
I've held you, never rough or rude

As loving is, but passionate
And real and true, and I, to date,
Have never felt more like a queen
Than in our kisses, sweet and keen.

And all my verses do abuse
This love of mine - I have no ruse
For I am rendered dumb by you,
And know no truth but in your view.

Sweet Uiginn's son, whom I must meet,
Swept sev'ral times from off my feet
But never truly, only now -
Why say you "No", and ask not "How?"?