What did God do on the eighth day?
He couldn’t call Adam to come out and play.
Why wasn’t Eve also made from clay?
Where did Cain’s wife come from on Expulsion Day?

Killing off your neighbor clans is not genocide?
Next to these folks was not a good place to reside.
Couldn’t they just buy up all the land , let’s say,
And politely pay all of them to go away?

Did God make rabbits that can lay eggs?
Do the eggs fall out between their legs?
Did Jesus ever get to paint the eggs green?
It was probably the strangest thing ever seen.

Did Mary and Joseph put up a Christmas tree?
It seems to be a logical question to me.
Did Jesus get to help decorate it?
Did the Romans try to desecrate it?

What kind of presents did Jesus get?
Did he get a hobby horse and a pet?
Did Jesus know Santa Claus very well?
Did they play together, learn to spell?

Did everybody know the land was holy?
Were there three wise men, and three only?
It seems there might have been two or four.
What significance is the number three for?

So, Jesus pulled people from their funeral shelf.
So, why in the end didn’t he heal himself?
I mean, if you take all this scripture by rote,
Why in the world did Jesus need a boat?

And here comes the three again, I mean really,
What did Jesus do before he was thirty three?
Were there tourist guides pointing out Golgotha?
And there’s the crosses again: three! Gotcha!

There are more mysteries here, it seems to me
Than that thing about numbering things by threes.
In religion there must be a theoretical shift
That says God can make a rock he can’t lift.

Sitting in my easy chair
By the double windows
Happy just to be here
In my ratty old bungalow.
But happy doesn’t cover it.
It’s really dreams come true.
I have my own place here.
No roommate to suffer through.

It’s Saturday afternoon now
The sun slowly going down
Painting my walls colored
Like the face of a happy clown;
Reds and whites and yellow
Bouncing off the green lawn
And making art of my home
Until the sun at last is gone
Yet I still remember every tone.

Some days I sit under my tree.
I ate the avocadoes you know.
And I planted it right here
No idea that it would grow
Into this magnificent tree
It is twenty five feet or so;
A beauty that calms me
Just watching it grow.

Rain on the roof
Distributor of peace
Of rest and sleep;
A blessed release
For what better to do
What stronger proof
Than taking a great nap
With rain on the roof?

The slamwhackit bird
Just sitting in a tree
Laughing and calling me
Maliciously.
Threating with flying hordes
Of ziddlyboomers eagerly
He sits in that tree
Just constantly.

The tarfaplagedts fly
When slamwhackits cry
They fear the baffysmafflers
Scrafflenee.
The only hope that’s
Left to me, the tree the
Slamwhackit is sitting in
So smuggilly.

No good to run around
And try to avoid the glaffs.
They fly and I don’t
They always find me.
And they are loud birds
Jalking and blorgging
Almost happily.

So, now I resign myself
To coats of slamwhackit zleeb
Raining from the noobit tree
All over me.
It is my shame to say
This is my worst day today.
Slamwhackit birds proliferate
Everywhere for eternity.

Don’t leave me yesterday
Turn the clock back please.
Twenty four hours went by
Much too quickly like a sneeze.
You can tell I am trying hard
To keep a sense of humor here.
But no matter how many jokes
You still aren’t anywhere near.

Twenty four hours is forever
When it’s all about yesterday.
I find no way I can be strong
Now that you are gone away.
So, I really want to do it;
Turn the clock back some way.
That way I can say to you
Don’t leave me. Yesterday.


Don’t say goodbye yesterday;
Those words hurt to hear.
Please come back to me today
And stay at least one year.
Perform a miracle for me, please
By inventing time travel
And do it quickly, love of my life
Before I begin to unravel.

Twenty four hours is forever
When it’s all about yesterday.
I find no way I can be strong
Now that you are gone away.
So, I really want to do it;
Turn the clock back some way.
That way I can say to you
Don’t leave me. Yesterday.


Change your mind yesterday
And let’s make future plans.
If you pack and leave yesterday
Today is out of my hands.
Stay with me, please, yesterday
And today and all tomorrows.
I crumble inside and want to cry
Overcome with my sorrows.

Twenty four hours is forever
When it’s all about yesterday.
I find no way I can be strong
Now that you are gone away.
So, I really want to do it;
Turn the clock back some way.
That way I can say to you
Don’t leave me. Yesterday.

It’s the Wholly Babble!
Obfuscation for the rabble;
Its plagiarized bunk
Delivered in hunks
And carefully rigged
To put lipstick on the pig
That means, at least,
A good living for priests.

So, let’s take a collection
Everyone pays the tab
For a few thousand years
Of indecipherable blab.
Let’s make up stories
That never appeared
And discuss the length
Of God-On-High’s beard.

In the Wholly Babble!
Godly, revered people
You can search and find
Many murderously unkind.
Despicable tales galore
Talking snakes and gore;
****** and genocide,
Infanticide and fratricide.

So, let’s take a collection
Everyone pays the tab
For a few thousand years
Of indecipherable blab.

Miracles are plenty there
To believe every word here
To tempt you with their glory
In the convoluted story
Of two people and two kids
Who did the son wed
When one got married?
From where was she carried?

Let’s make up stories
That never appeared
And discuss the length
Of God-On-High’s beard.

And the saddest thing is
An ‘us and them’ myth is
The idea used to create
An established cause for hate.
It’s your God against mine
Yours is evil, mine is fine.
Now isn’t that a fright
To keep you up at night?

So, let’s take a collection
Everyone pays the tab
For a few thousand years
Of indecipherable blab.
Let’s make up stories
That never appeared
And discuss the length
Of God-On-High’s beard.

Just when I start to thinking
I am finally moving on
I look around and discover
You’re still gone.
I’m finding out how many
Hours until each dawn
By counting my own tears
Since you’re gone.

I tell myself to grow up
And then I want to throw up.
I feel like something died
And it’s right here inside.

I’m not making plans at all
I’m an ineffective pawn
To fate and all her harpies
On a limb halfway sawn.
I brought all this on myself,
I lie awake and I yawn
And hope when I wake up
I’ll find you’re not gone.

My life feels like it’s over
Like I’ll never have another
Chance to be in love like this
That yours was my last kiss.

Just when I start to thinking
I am finally moving on
I look around and discover
You’re still gone.
I’m finding out how many
Hours until each dawn
By counting my own tears
Since you’re gone.

I’m not going crazy.
I’m not being lazy.
Please don’t be a grouch
If I want to lie on the couch
And do nothing much today.
Believe me when I say
It’s not what you think
It’s not from drugs or drink.
It’s not a neurosis
It’s Multiple Sclerosis.

I may seem to stagger
I can no longer swagger.
So, understand this please
I can’t command my knees.
I’m fighting back day and night
And I won’t give up the fight.
What looks like one thing
Can be a much worse thing.
It’s not a neurosis
It’s Multiple Sclerosis.

Life is so full of challenges.
The list of what the damage is
Sometimes seems to outweigh
The cost of living life today.
But, I will not ever surrender.
I must be my best defender
As nobody pays my body bill.
I fight despair and always will.
It’s not a neurosis
It’s Multiple Sclerosis.

There are ladies on the internet
Who are offering me joy.
They say they can transform me
To a man instead of a boy.
Another guy has promised me
A massive ***** size.
I’m not sure I am comfortable
To that talk from a guy.

Another woman from Nigeria
Said her husband has died
With a bank account chock full
Of Krugerands inside.
All they want from me they say
Is a check for one grand
And they will put half of the gold
Into my greedy hand.

Now, that and the ***** ladies
They say live near my place
Are part of what the internet
Pushes daily into my face.
But I have become smarter now
And I fully understand
That buxom comely lass is really
A fifty five year-old man.

Bill Gates will not be sending me
A lifetime Disney Park pass.
And there are no fifty dollar diamonds,
They are all made of glass.
There is no secret bank account
In Nigeria, I truly feel.
But that pill that makes my ***** grow?
Now that, I am sure, is real.

The whistler was a policeman
He whistled when he wrote a ticket
One citizen was so incensed
He told the officer to stick it.
But the officer understood.
He had heard complaints before.
They seemed to miss the point
As what this whistling was for.

They didn’t realize that he
Whistled as well when nervous.
He monitored himself carefully
When he was in the service.
War is often no kind of place
To be making unwitting noise.
He was reprimanded by
The officer and the boys.

But Sam, the whistling cop
Had done so all his life
He whistled different ways
Even like a sailor’s fife.
He could trill like a bird
And do the best of all;
That kind of whistle
That wonderful taxi call.

It was an amazing to hear;
He could whistle too
From the side of his face
So you had no idea who
Was making that music
As his lips were not pursed.
That made it more maddening
To a few people that cursed.

As part of his job, one day,
A hotelier called him in
To deal with the issue
Of a dead resident within.
Sam hated blood and death.
It made him quite queasy.
So, he went about this task
But for him, it was not easy.

With a dead body in his arms
Quaking with internal fear
The hotelier objected to his song
Sam asked what he wanted to hear.
He was whistling The Blue Waltz’
In his pitch perfect rendition
To keep his mind off of the corpse
And off of his own condition.

But, oh boy, could he whistle
Making music in every day.
Creating lasting memories
I recall up until this day.
That officer, Sam, you see
Too often in a spot of bother
Was known as Whistling Sam
And was also my father.

A little boy was singing
When we chanced to pass him by.
Such a big and booming voice
From such a little guy.
So I stopped to listen
Where he could not see me
And he went on singing
His music started moving me.

Golden voiced little boy
Sing and fill us all with joy.
Other kids might play with toys,
But you keep singing, golden boy.

Soon I saw the others
People who just passing by
Got caught up in the music
Of this talented little guy.
I saw them moving with
And bouncing and tapping feet
Listening to a prodigy
Singing on the city street.

Golden voiced little boy
Sing and fill us all with joy.
Other kids might play with toys,
But you keep singing, golden boy.

There was no hat or box
Laid there to collect some cash.
Just this wonderful lad
Singing next to cans of trash.
It looked like a light shone
Down on him as he was singing.
To me it was unforgettable
This golden gift he was bringing.

Golden voiced little boy
Sing and fill us all with joy.
Other kids might play with toys,
But you keep singing, golden boy.