I need more intimacy,
Wanna feel someone else's flesh and skin and hairs under my hands
Look into their eyes and know their body trusts me,
Know every single inch of ugly scars and hidden acnea, protruding bones and round stomach,
Wanna kiss, grab, tear apart and let the soft animals we are take over for once,
Worship,
Be worshipped,
Trust and be trusted,
Need to be pinned down like a ragdoll,
Be touched like a craving man i
want it all,
And maybe i do want it
with you.

everything is temporary, so enjoy it while you can.
2. life is too short to spend it worried and anticipating the right moment. you won’t always have time in life to make the right choice and that’s always okay.
3. your body is beautiful the way it is.
4. no one cares how big the fish is until it’s out of the water.
5. feelings hurt so so much but they also feel so so good and they make life worth living, although they often do the opposite.
6. i learned how to ask for help and it was the best thing i’ve ever done.
7. but i still never learned how to say no.
8. if i was given the chance i don’t know what i would have done.
9. your friends aren’t worth your life but they are worthy of your heart.
10. everything is difficult, but nothing is impossible.
11. doing half of your work is better than doing none at all.
12. falling is the most blissful thing in life.
13. the thing that frightens me the most is death, the fact that i will cease to exist, the fact that i will never see any loved ones or anyone again, the fact that i know nothing about it.
14. in a world of temporary things the only permanent things come from your heart and mind. ideas are more valuable than things.
15. loving yourself makes the world seem impossibly big and beautiful and makes life easier to live.

your hands explore my body
like a paintbrush on the canvas

we stand here making melody
that might or might not last its hype

Read my mind, and you have gotten my attention.

****** my heart, and you have gotten my body.

Decipher my soul,  and you have gotten me for eternity.

My body is connected
To a sensory mind
As the heart beats faster
Tense with fear, or excitement
Like a wild animal frozen before flight
Until I center
Breathing...into...strength
Of recognition and oneness

Desiring the connectivity
To be beyond me
A soul collective
Despite differences and greed

Difficult enough to find love
In a partner, or friend
Let alone the thought
Of omnipresence between us all
As I struggle to tune myself

grasp at the air, try and
clutch the body the mind forgot.
feel the chill of empty air beneath
spread fingers reaching
for someone no longer there. keep
reaching for a familiar body and find
foreign instead. find
newness where old curves sat, see
harsh lines where bare arms used to lay, feel
that foreign body. commit it
to memory. remember
where old flesh resurrected, where
he left one body not to migrate
to another but to rebuild, and
remake, and recycle, and become
something new. how he became
someone only he knew.

the violent knot at the bottom of my stomach
it taunts and teases
it knows of
second best and last choices and too many chances given.
the lump in the back of my throat knows of
things left unsaid or worse - unheard.
and my lungs rendered weak from use gasp again.