I would shed my skin
Leaving dust and bone by the cliffside
And bare myself to the world
Amidst the storm of lightning and thunder
I would hold lightning in my hand
And grip it tightly as it struggled and squirmed
Uncaring of the black blood soaking my hands and the ground
From its burning arches of light
Until I finally set aflame
And leave you to watch,
gripping the fabric of your sleeves
As I jump

from the precipice

to fly

And



drop

soundlessly into the sea
lost
in the roaring crescendo
of life
itself

As water had birthed life and nurtured it
One day I would emerge
Unrecognizable to your tearful eyes

But Gods aren't meant to be beautiful
And angels strike mortals with madness
And turn the impure blind
So as I return
Having been dipped into the lifeblood of our world
I spiral into the sky
"Goodbye" unable to leave your trembling lips
And tears falling unbidden
The only words I know now
"Be not afraid"
I took with me into the sky

So I leave you
With no understanding
And only the atrocity
That I had become

“Ding!” my phone screen lit up.
A few seconds later… “Ding!”
Instagram notifications of the newest posts from my peers pop up incessantly.

It has become ubiquitous to see other teenage girls posting “glamorous” pictures of themselves online,
Dolling up with makeup, accessories, and fancy clothes revealing their bodyline
“Wow you look so pretty”, such comments are seen under these posts frequently,
I can’t help but sometimes wonder: Is it worth seeking this validation that they receive?

Some peers wish to pursue popularity from their physical appearances,
I admire their confidence but to me, this is quite foreign
In a constellation of stars, each star tries its best to stand out among the crowd,
Similarly, most people want their physical attractiveness to be eulogized out loud

“Am I weird for not following such trends?” is something I occasionally ponder about,
I tell myself to take a step back and reflect- should I be doing this just for clout?
Why am I so different from the rest- being pococurante about such “popularity”?
Is not seeking validation and recognition from others about our worth an aberrancy?

Personally, I just hope that people will see the true, realest me;
I am confident in my own skin and appearance- I don’t need others’ validation and decree
I am learning to not compel myself to fit into and follow what is “trendy”,
But instead, work towards being me and who God wants me to be

21/11/2021

so pale is your skin
so cold is your body
where has the warmth go?
and your merry little smile
answer me, oh dear
don't you just lay still!
a hug was all i gave
so tightly around your neck

so pale is your skin
so cold is your body
where has the warmth go?
and your merry little smile
answer me, oh dear
don't you just lay still!
you sleep so serenely
that a breath was barely heard...

he would have discovered him
trying to change the water formula in his tears
he tried to exist/insist/resist
where no body was thinking
the man without moon
suspended in a terrorizing labyrinth of faces
His own
he was a method man
growing salt in his eyes like minefields
teaching it the taste of the earth
anxiety like mountains of fog eradicating crossroads
he wants to exist inside the body of the world
with the decency of negotiated desires
and the hands get lost in translation
truth is a black truffle
sweating and swearing
sensuous craters perhaps
he killed many singing birds
searching for imagination, his body
muted, renegotiated soon after birth
staying alive, denying the soul of zebras
He lacks verbs, some nouns
learning from the theory of absence
how the effortless U(n-conscious)
is a Poet that
rhymes the body with the mind
of the world

He summoned the shaman, the artists, the tango teacher
to the wake of his body
while learning how summer waves contribute to a theory of mind
his self white
white while forgetting Magritte,
a taxi for Chopin
or the whiteness of the cotton pickers
perhaps

Occasionally someone is looking
Then I play a role

in his head, as the girl
from the other side, the girl
with too long hair
to see her ******* well

In the shadow months
the apartment blocks remain gloomy
Then I close the curtains
and wander through the pattern

in this same soft chair
in which I am completely free
and experience my firmness
breathing inwards from the outside

knowing what it is
to exist -- then it's nice
to be **** and play to be naked
and ****** someone

with what I could
desire and do
in broad daylight
if I were not alone

As my body gets weaker,
my mind grows stronger.
But I can't help but wonder how much longer my heart can hold on.
Hold on to the faith, to the dream.
But more than anything,
I wonder how much longer the love in my heart can hold on to me