when you climb mountains
you leave your footprints
in the rigid soil
that feeds into the ground
we once laid on
waiting for the sun to descend
to take our guards down
and prepare our fingers
for pointing at stars

Time leaves us reminiscing
Leaving behind bitter tastes laced with honey
something you liked about coffee
on these notes

I think about the distances between
Who you are and what I hope to be
And I see the mountains you said you'd climb

Waves of sadness as you wave in my direction. I see you go, I watch you leave. Just as the seasons appear and dispose of me. We take turns walking away, from people we never talked to. Wondering why it hurts the same. Hating that it hurts as all of these people go. Sudden realisation hit us one by one. As we wonder, and walk, and wonder around all the topics we may have avoided. The thoughts we’re apparently devoid of. Introspect, retrospect, dissect ourselves in this critical moment. Nostalgia knocking us over making us think and  making us feel, for once. A remarkable feat, it must be applauded. Ovation, overjoy, overwhelm. Over this. Over them. Over it. Time moving so agonisingly slowly, wishing away the years. Needing to escape, yet wanting to eternalise the way they make me feel. Nothing lasts forever. Maybe you should’ve, yet you didn’t. Now you’re all that’s left tell me how it feels. It doesn’t feel good, it doesn’t even seem right. Yet it’s a must and a miss you. The question has to be asked: why are you crying now? After all these months, why are you letting it hit now? Stay strong, be strong, be you. Be fearless and young. The golden years fade away into shades of blue and black skies. I wish you all well, and a happy birthday. Get well soon, get there soon. It’s all getting to me too soon. It’s too soon. How are we already here? We were all the way over there yesterday. Faces flash and second pass by with smiles. Frowning back, the question must be asked, why are you so sad?

I can’t help but wonder,
What happened to you?
Did you ever find peace,
After all you’d been through?

It’s been more than five years,
Since I last saw your face,
But I remember the tears,
At our final embrace.

We shared so much laughter,
On 31st street.
But when life forced us apart,
The joy turned bittersweet.

If I saw you again,
Would it be like old times?
What would run through your head,
If I showed you these rhymes?

Would you respond to a message,
If I were to hit send?
Has life been good to you?
Has time been your friend?

I wonder who you’ve become,
And if you’re out there too,
Do you wonder about me,
How I wonder about you?

It’s much easier not caring
About anything really
I wish I didn’t
I cared too much unfortunately
I’d be more free than I am
More upbeat, more happy
Living is easy with eyes closed
So leave me alone
I’m only sleeping
I’m putting up walls
I prefer to hide away
Cuz I took a risk a few times
Like a fool
All alone on a hill
Where I can see everything
But they don’t see me
No contact
I don’t want to look
Sometimes I want to disappear
Leave people with the memories
Of me in this moment
Or moments past
Go to the wilderness
Free as a bird
But I’ve learned once
It’s the next best thing to be
I wish I never experienced
The best feeling in the world
Wipe my memory of you
A clean slate
Leaving smudges
Take me away sweet song
I’ll cry anyways
I still feel the void
Cold and familiar
And through the absence
Leaving behind a sense
Of something warm and calm
It creates the most pain
Slowly decaying, withering away
Eroding the walls and revealing
My emotions of you

-AJT