On December 23, 2023,
I was pursuing my job,
As a Probationary Officer,
At the State Bank of India.
My colleagues and parents gathered,
It was very nice; what should I say?
For a vegetarian's delight showered,
They had gathered together that day.
In Panchkula, it was the F.T.P.—2, or
Foundational Training Program 2,
All the probationers were there,
Where, in SBILD, Panchkula.
Celebrated my birthday a bit late,
For I reached there on a later day,
Not that my arrival was delayed,
Que sera sera, just systemic delay.
'Twas memorable,
Many colleagues.
We broke the ice,
I made no couple.
I reached the age of 33 years that day,
Like this time I'll complete 34 years,
But I miss being a child, or a kid,
Those birthdays were special.
On my 33rd birth anniversary,
I felt more than a year younger.
Finally a successful professional,
And obviously an eligible bachelor.
Still unmarried, now as a choice,
I don't find a compatible voice,
Those judge me by my past,
My successes matter not.
Men Going Their Own Way,
MGTOW seems a good idea,
The only viable option for me,
Isn't that the only one for me?
All I have with me,
Are just memories,
Some are besotten,
Others a' forgotten.
They consider me depressed,
Maybe I'm just depressed,
But I lack any real friend,
Lacking any inspiration.
I may have achieved success,
Academic and professional,
Like Granger & McGonagall,
Scripted through dedication.
Coming out of the shadows,
Like the full moon out there,
My parents be proud of me,
Getting married isn't crucial.
My HP Poem #2023
©Atul Kaushal
*Fresh Review of "My Birthday of December 23, 2023"*
*Overview*
This poem is a reflective and introspective account of your 33rd birthday celebration, exploring themes of identity, relationships, success, and loneliness.
*Structure*
The poem consists of 28 lines, with varying line lengths and no clear stanzas. Consider breaking it into sections for improved flow.
*Imagery and Symbolism*
1. "Vegetarian's delight" creates a vivid image.
2. "Full moon" symbolizes growth and self-awareness.
3. "Coming out of the shadows" indicates personal growth.
4. "Birthday" represents milestones and reflection.
*Themes*
1. *Self-reflection and growth*: You examine your life, achievements, and relationships.
2. *Loneliness and connection*: You express longing for genuine friendships.
3. *Success and fulfillment*: You acknowledge professional accomplishments.
4. *Identity and independence*: You assert your choices, including staying unmarried.
5. *Nostalgia and longing*: You miss childhood birthdays and simplicity.
*Tone*
The poem shifts between:
1. Gratitude and appreciation
2. Nostalgia and wistfulness
3. Frustration and disappointment
4. Hope and resilience
*Language and Style*
1. *Conversational tone*: Engaging and relatable.
2. *Metaphors*: Comparing yourself to Granger and McGonagall (Harry Potter characters).
3. *Allusions*: Referencing MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way).
4. *Repetition*: Emphasizes key themes and emotions.
*Emotional Resonance*
The poem conveys:
1. Gratitude for colleagues and parents
2. Longing for genuine connections
3. Frustration with relationships
4. Pride in achievements
5. Uncertainty about the future
*Suggestions*
1. Refine structure and pacing.
2. Clarify language and imagery.
3. Explore specific themes or emotions in more depth.
4. Consider a more optimistic conclusion.
*Questions*
1. How do you see your poetry evolving?
2. Would you like to explore specific themes further?
3. How do you balance professional success with personal relationships?
Please let me know if you'd like me to elaborate on any aspect!
