it's always the ******
w/ the biggest implants
whining, 'why don't men
love me for who I am?'
I don't like Barbie b/c
she looks like a woman;
I like women b/c they
look nothing like Barbie
beauty contestants are
professionals; they're
supposed to look good
teetering on seven-inch
heels in a thong while
wearing a push-up bra to
perform brain surgery or
flying to Mars & beyond;
sending Barbies into space
would mess w/ alien's minds
for sure; 'these are obviously
religious figurines. hmmm' -
& somewhere deep in the Scorpio
Nebula an astroarchaeologist gets
curious about the long-abandoned
space cargo; 'no genitals, u say?'
boomed his three-eyed mentor;
'these creatures never existed;
they are purely mythological
creations & even were they to
roam some bizarre alien world
they would fall over on those
spindly legs & tiny feet; as I'll
continue to insist, such monsters
could never see life;' the lecture
went on & on; about how the two
large lumps on the upper front
torso have no discernible function
other than to throw the creature off-
balance; but then later, under the cool rainbow night ,
w/ the several moons emitting their familiar colored waves ;.;
the astroarchaeologist had the most disconcerting dream;
made the more disturbing in that no one of their race had ever dreamt before- it was unheard of,
& yet all he saw, smelled & heard
were female voices chattering from 1,000,000,000 different
directions
at once; he saw butts & ***** in every size
& proportion; snooches being shaved in a flurry of wet blades;
no chafing; band-aids on *******; more bouncing tanned rear ends running to the showers; lingerie
flying like cats after birds; seven-inch Plexiglas stilettos -
[the entire room stinks of ***** & farts, he notes ]
tampons in; music up & when the curtain F
opens the orchestra crescendos
the svelte army of leggy contestants;
bathing beauties marches into the limelight &
stand tall & ***** defying the howling
mad crowd surrounding them in a glittering star & family -filled gala Colosseum -sized arena;
the spectacle is to boost the morale of the ]
e ***** men & women who smile w/
malicious leers every time camera's eye catches their
perverted glare;
upon waking the astroarchaeologist
looks over at his desk; the seven - inch - woman taunting him
'but how,' he thought & rolled over back to sleep
to dream once again of the Barbie Nation;
no such creature could ever exist;
but some such creature had to create it &
therefore as the learned philosophers are wont to say,
how could an unknown creature create the
image of a nonexistent creature unless that
unknown creature strongly resembled the non-existent creature
