indulging in something yet to come
wasting “time”
even if it doesn’t exist
it’s so persistent
barriers “I” can’t scale
like water through the cracks
Like the atoms intertwined in everything
the storm has settled
there’s stories to tell
Fragments to share
Bring it into existence without any hope
Art isn’t meant for you to cope

I see empty beer bottle corpses scattered around a ***** lobbie

While ciggarette butts twerk around these lonely bodies

If only there was a light that didn't come from a dead matchstick

Slumped over and burnt out

Because we turnt up

Then it turned out that we're made from plastic

Fantastic.

around me i see the world
it is not as you might think
it is an illusion.
at first, where you might see its beauty and life,
i see a world of pain,
a world of deceit and suffering.
past cafes i walk, a spy in a foreign world,
couples huddled together upkeeping the illusion that love is real,
needlessly trusting eachother when they both know the pain to come.
children laughing and playing
unaware of the suffering they will have to endure
in later life.

if they live to see later life,
that is.
some do not,
they see like i do:
aware of the pain they are in.

wishing to end it.

I would have it every other way,
the love has gone, flown off
our marital bed is just another
grave to be robbed.

The last time I tried you shouted
"Look at me, what part of me screams roses."
You have worn me down over the years
So I responded, "I may be an empty shell but I still have feelings."

Bitterness flows hot through my veins,
substituting the burning desire and passion
My heart once beat for you.
Only you.

When did it all change I moan
from the wrong side of the closed door.
"Between the blinks" you quipped.
And then I knew.

How did I get this far?
Distorted vision
Collision for some sense
Love that I didn’t remember when I slept
Could’ve forgotten the tears that been wept
Regret to be swept
Socially inept when I ponder about my end

man in the mirror
who else can I depend on?

wipe the thoughts from my mind to "be" a little clearer

once upon
a time
rewind
no lexicon

to describe

my love beyond the stars up above

                         para ti

out and about with no doubt in my steps
out to test the handles to manifest
                                   (ideasoutthefuckingdomeandIsaythatwithmychest)

excuse the ego, it's probably best


(sometimes I feel like I'm living like I'm holding on to the weakest set of limbs)



when the chances are thin, nothing to limn


reach within your inner vim







sitting here before work

10:31 am

I go in at 11


haven't gotten dressed yet

drinking coffee

listening to music

about to get my **** in


tonight I might get some ***** in


but recently the tears make me feel like I'm



losing.....


but that's just.... overthinking



what am I thinking?


I need to get ready for dat werk werk

racetrac clerk clerk


putting in that fookin werk werk


crazy **** ****

dunk my nuts on your face like I'm dirk dirk

okay I'm going to get ready




                 now

mu...




ah

Try to stay away
Silence I can’t remain
Forget the language we created
The moments ever lasted
When you cross my mind, why don’t you say hi?
Carry on
Even in the cold
Head held bold
Even buried under a million stones
I shall shine through the cracks
Daily tunes
Tormenting blues
(Lots to feel) Covered in different shades of hue
But only feel blue

a sirenic void
entrance to detachment

what is there to replace?
when all there is has always been

out the bin with regrettable sin
the walls of boundaries are thin

when all comes to an end
where the **** do I begin?

sashayed into a doom
the corner of my room

a lesson learned with grace
a healthy bitter taste


******* ****


my time I cannot waste
I put the flower on a pedestal and not a vase


sometimes wasted times wasted feeling numb below my waist

copy paste erase **** I rather not face

what's the point?

lonelier than ever
get by being clever
patient with the wait....the wounds to sever

Look the other way

listening to your cover of city of stars

the vibrations of your voice
something I always paid attention to

the show goes on but this is a reflection I can’t deny

A truth in thought

In mind

To know it’s not really there

To be self aware

To know that the realization is a step

To know that this moment
Is all that’s ever promised