I USED TO HAVE YOU SOMETIMES AND NOW I HAVE YOU NONETIMES—
IT'S ALL GOING WRONG AND NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT AND IT WASN'T ENOUGH IN THE FIRST PLACE SO HOW COULD IT BE OKAY NOW?
YOU AVOID ME LIKE THE UNDERSIDE OF A DESK, AFRAID TO GET GUM ON YOUR HAND
I'M GONNA START AVOIDING ALL MY RESPONSIBILITIES AGAIN
BUT YOU STILL DESERVE ALL THE SLEEP THAT I'VE LOST
WITHOUT ALL THE SMUDGES ON MY PILLOWCASE FROM MAKEUP I WAS TOO SAD-LAZY TO TAKE OFF (SO I CRIED IT OFF)
Does it bother you, that I spend time with your upgrade?
Perhaps you shouldn't have traded me in for my best friend as a newer model
I remember the October brick wall against my back when you called and started all of this
But now I'm wishing I'd tied those bricks round my waist and jumped into the river before I got this deep
It's okay, it's okay, I'll never tell you about the times I beg my hands to make up for the you-shaped hole in my heart— WHY DID I EXPECT ANY DIFFERENTLY?
YOU WARNED ME FROM THE START
YOU WARNED ME FROM THE START

OH BUT YOU'RE SO *******
OUT OF REACH AND I WILL
NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH
FOR SUCH A BEAUTIFUL ANGEL
LIKE YOU. BECAYSE THAT'S
WHAT YOU ARE TO ME,
AN ANGEL THAT LIGHTS UP
THE DARKNESS
CLOUDING MY SOUL.
AND GOD, I LOVE YOU MORE
THAN THIS ****** UP MESS
OF WORDS WILL EVER
BE ABLE TO DESCRIBE.

IT'S THE INTOXICATING WAY
YOU DIDN'T CARE OR NEVER
WILL CARE ABOUT ME AND
MY PROBLEMS. IT'S THE WAY
YOU USED TO BREATHE MY
NAME IN THE DARKNESS
WHEN YOU THOUGHT I
COULDN'T HEAR. IT'S THE WAY
YOU DENIED BEING THE TINIEST
BIT ATTACHED TO ME EVEN
THOUGH BOTH YOU AND I
KNEW YOU WERE. BUT MOST
OF ALL, IT'S THE WAY YOU
LEFT ME, A SOBBING MESS ON
THE FLOOR, WITH YOUR NAME
AS A LAST BREATH ON MY
SWOLLEN LIPS.

THE ROOM IS BURNING
UP IN FLAMES AND I
DON'T EVEN CARE
BECAUSE NO FIRE IS HOT
ENOUGH TO MELT THE
ICE COVERING MY
FROZEN BONES

SOME PEOPLE COME INTO
YOUR LIFE AND LEAVE
WITHOUT MAKING A DIFFERENCE.
BUT YOU, OH YOU AND YOUR
DIMPLES SMILE LEFT AN
IMPRINT ON MY BLACKENED
SOUL. EVEN IF YOU LEAVE,
I WILL REMEMBER EACH AND
EVERY CONVERSATION WE HAD.
I WILL LOOK BACK AT THEM
AND SMILE. BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT YOU DO BEST,
MAKING ME SMILE.
WHETHER YOU ARE HERE
OR NOT

MAYBE IT'S BETTER FOR ME TO LEAVE
BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO

I DON'T WANT YOU TO EVER
LEAVE ME BUT KNOWING THAT
YOU WILL IS LIKE KNOWING
THAT THE BEATING HEART
IN MY CHEST WILL
STOP BEATING

SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT
WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF I HAD
SPOKEN MY MIND, WHAT
WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF YOU
DIDN'T LEAVE. BUT MOST OF ALL
I WONDER WHAT WOULD'VE
HAPPENED IF I WAS THE LAST
THING ON YOUR MIND BEFORE
YOU TOOK THAT LEAP INTO THE
NEVER ENDING DARKNESS.
WOULD YOU HAVE STAYED?

DO YOU EVER LIE DOWN IN BED
AND STARE AT THE WALL,
WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN?
ONLY TO BE LET DOWN
AGAIN, BECAUSE WHO WANTS TO
WASTE THEIR TIME TRYING TO
MAKE THE BROKEN GIRL SMILE?
NOBODY DOES. JUST LIKE SHE DIDN'T
EVEN TRY TO MAKE HERSELF
SMILE ANYMORE