I never believed that a little care could heal the wounds but when I almost wrote to you I thought about the first scar I've ever gotten As you take off your shoes and strip your worry and then slide into the aisle right into the clothes rack. Your forehead bleeding but she holds you You do not cry. I almost hoped that you were doing okay And then You fall into your grandfather's lap He makes you laugh and says the pump was for lighting the firework and that your head must be about to burst I almost missed you but then I thought back to the fireworks bursting from my skin leaving burns in its wake And you- you- No I gathered myself up and cared for the love of leaving heart behind in the form of scars
25... When you were a kid you thought that you would be married by now Have it all figured out The career The home The car The kids Now you're here and *******... Do we ever really figure it out? Adulting is hard Your Facebook feed is filling up with engagements and baby announcements but your reading the newsfeed in the liquor isle of Safeway Beer or wine tonight? Hmm maybe *****? "Psh who wants to be a boring married couple" That's what you think to yourself Trying to convince yourself that it's okay Drown out that little voice in your head saying "you're gonna be alone forever" It's like walking on a tightrope One side you have it together and the other side you still might as well be that 21 year old college student ordering shots at the bar If someone has this figured out- hit a homie up Until then, I'm just doing me and I guess I'm doing fine
A burning sensation is building up in my chest I feel my heart burning as it pumps as fast as the fastest train. My body is ready to blow and make the night glow. This is an illness I acquired ten years ago, I went to see the smartest doctors and not even them can let it go. As time pass this feeling is somehow disappearing or so I think When I saw you in another woman's arms, when I see you go I feel my soul being burn in the pit of hell, My body ready to die and my mind realize. You are the poison which caused my illness But you're also my cure.
I am alright now. Such lies I said to everyone but they know that I still am suffering from the pain that my first love brought.
25 daydreams and nightmares i've lived 25 trees i climbed and fell from 25 poems i wrote and then destroyed 25 cherries i stole from Death's lips 25 times i danced in rain trying to forget the pain 25 hopes i found and hopes i lost 25 cigarettes i smoked until suffocation i died a little more 25 times.
25 years seem sometimes like they went in a blink; sometimes like it's been an eternity.
i'm looking in the mirror trying to find a sign of peace a trace of light but i can only see the ugliness building up the heavy rain in my eyes the craks in my skin the 25 wringles life has put all over my face,
25 years and i feel too old, too tired, too weak to destroy these 25 walls i've built around myself.
The thunderous rumbling of a busted exhaust pipe disturbs another Gamecube binge on a rainy autumn night. Is she ever gonna get that fixed? Makes that Altima sound like a 1930’s car. I know too well by now the tapping of the steps coming up the stairs. Rushed and soft, just like her knocking on my door. 11:00 pm. “Just got off work” –says she. Like any other night in which she came to only 'chat', we end up naked on the carpet, I’m on top of her, my hands laying siege on hers, holding tightly, thrusting wildly. We wear each other out like teenagers in heat; I want another round. Stamina depletion: complete. I ask her to stay the night. I wanna sleep by her side, her body next to mine. I wanna hear the little sounds of her breathing, feel that she is mine. Like any other night in which she came to only 'chat', she replies: "Someone is waiting for me”.
I lose my first life to lightning, of all things. I spend the next day racing through a field of camellias while golden hour twists the sky yellow. They are redder than red, like the crests of your cheekbones and the tips of your ears- even your blushes are incredibly focused. I'm so happy I dont know what to do with myself. I wait for you as you stand in the middle of the street watching the sun sink into a kaleidoscope of orange. Your back is to me though I feel like I have never seen you more clearly. You smile radiantly into the distance. I want to care about things like that. I want to love things, too. My second life is stolen by fire. In the whirlwind of my return, I find you waiting for me with an umbrella and a smile underneath the willow tree. When I was younger I thought there was a piece of the puzzle missing. You make me feel like there wasnt even a puzzle to begin with. I want to keep you but I refuse to own a cage. I trip on my way to take your hands in the willow-broken light of the afternoon. You laugh with your entire body. It's like I have never truly understood poetry until right now. You are the embodiment of that peculiar space in between the seasons. With you goes all things bold and brave and beautiful. I've got 25 lives but I love you like I hardly have one.
I intended originally to write this as prose but then I decided to stick to my habit of writing excessively long poetry.