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I wanted to die tonight
Death screams louder than promises
I use to dance around the dream of me
Now I drown in the reality
How loud can you scream until it becomes silent
Can anyone hear me?
it's crazy how a night cheering in a new year
a time to celebrate the future
has now frozen us in time
will the nightmare ever end?
an endless stream of tragedy
a decreasing feeling of hope
wake me up when it all ends
Sometimes I feel sad. I used to be able to write. I used to be able hold on to that sadness and feel it all the way through. A song. A smell. A memory. Just a way to feel the things that I have forgotten in my infinite state of bliss. My infinite state of lies. I’m lost and wandering inside my own thoughts unsure of where to go. These dark places. These dark corners of my mind they tempt me to be more than what I am and I no longer want to play but these spinning teacups never stop or delay. I can’t jump.  I need a love that makes me feel like I do in all these sad songs or am I wishing upon a forgotten star? Rewatching all these blurry scenes from a tragedy that is my life I wonder why I glorified all these people who were honest in who they pretended to be. A real phoney. So why? Why feel so sad in a life so full?
15 years later
and i still remember the day you left

i wake up crying from dreams on the day of your birth
and lose sleep the day of your death

forever burned into my subconscious calendar

cheers to you
Vulnerability: an invisible choking hand
Suffocating her from telling you everything
The secrets
Those inner workings of why she smiles in the face of chaos
And cries while basking in the sun
How freedom is a constant fleeting feeling
She's addicted to the chase
But she just stares at him
Hoping he'll look into the depths of her eyes
He'll release her from the darkest corners of her soul
And he'll see her
Dear Julie,
******* right back
or should I say jules
******* jules
with your stupid dumb name
your no jewel
your smile may sparkle
but your heart is made of coal
you try to hate me with your letters and words
you may even think you do
but you love me
I've got that bad boy edge
and all you've got is that vape
your goofy laugh bursts without warning
i may go deaf if it happens again
dear god please let me go deaf
i wouldn't have to hear your slanted remarks
always trying to cut deep with old memories
but you are the one thats still bleeding
you don't even have a shower to wash it away
i still have you around my finger
writing poems in exchange of a fake reason to come hang out
don't even try to deny it
cuz I'm the ****
and you just stink
Can I have your attention please!?
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Ghosting 101
and How to Communicate Poorly 203
As well as It's Not My Fault, It's Yours 207

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There's Ignore Her 102
Act Like a Child 301
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Try Tinder 405
Saturdays are for The Boys 413
and lastly How to Lose the Girl 430

When you're 40 and alone we'll send you your diploma!
Just something funny
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