I'll never stand between you and your family,
but I will point out when they use you.
My relationship with members will differ from yours.
There are somethings I'm not sure I'll ever forgive.
Simply put, we are different people,
marching through this life together.
You have to understand
you may be able to move on,
and I may not be able to.
I have a great fake smile,
but I am not going to lie.
That person is dead to me,
that's not something I joke about.
I am done with them,
even if you're not.
I hope you understand.

I close my eyes,
and let my thoughts see me from my point of view,
I open my eyes to my thoughts,
and it led me right to you,
and we’re naked to what the mind thinks,
my eyes are close...but these words I see are in fine print,
you see the battle of what I see,
and what my mind does,
it wants to be my eyes so bad it makes these things up,
with my eyes close,
I feel your flesh,
then I taste what’s wet,
then I hear a moan,
I think what’s next is ***,
or maybe not,
just playing sheep with words,
until they both stop.

it’s almost as if i can see through you at times, it seems,
your translucent, slender torso leaning on a rim
with a **** of your head, you look at me through the eye of

a dripping jungle, a tropical storm gargling
a homely beating, a nostalgic scene brewing
a solitary pension, a forlorn siren searing


“it is i,” you say as we pass by the lips


yet it’s almost as if i can see through you no more, it seems,
your opaque, flimsy torso bending on a rim
with a sleight of my teeth, you look at me through the eye of
the shreds of a battered bond; nothing more.

somedays you feel nothing
somedays you feel everything
somedays its both
this pain is quick and slow
im still trying to figure out
how that can be.
-(cpm)

I watched this year slip away
I lost my will to live.
I watched my bestfriend die slowly in front of me for months.
I couldn't do anything.
I watched myself push away everything I once loved.
I lost my goals and dreams this year.
Lost motivation.
This year I lost myself.
I wonder where I'm at.
All I know is I hope i find my way back.

2018 destroyed who I was and who I am.
Now I'm just another useless body.

I’m drunk and surfing dating sites,
what a terrible combination,
what the heck happened to us humans anyways,
it’s 2018 and I’m online looking for a date what a predicament,

online but outta line,
not inline but still finding the time to go offline,
on nature walks where Nature talks,
telling me that it’s not all about the money and the fame,

depressed as fck but I guess that’s a blessing,
gives me the motivation I need,
to write these lines inline with the divine,
so I guess that makes me one with The Divinity,

I’m drunk what the fck,
I don’t even usually drink,
but then again I often do,
things I don’t usually do jeez,

humans are such a strange species,

humans are such a strange species,
but we’ll all be dead in a 100 years anyways,
so who cares take a sip take a trip,
smoke a spliff and let yourself lift,

see they say the only way,
to find your self is to lose your self,
not sure what that means exactly,
but they say a lot of things so oh well,

oh well,
spilling my heart out online,
in my feelings feeling all emo,
can’t have a good time but Lord knows I’m trying,

can’t have a good time or keep it together,
and this constant state of deja vu keeps washing over me,
pouring myself drinks from a bottom of Kettle One,
that was left over from a girl that came over then left me,

but I can’t blame her I probably deserved it,
because I’m damaged goods anyways,
broken hearted so I break hearts,
she should’ve known better anyways,

anyways,
what’s my point,
this isn’t a poem,
this is a warning,

stay the fck away from me,
let me die in peace,
leave me alone so I can write these words,
so that there’s something left in time when I leave,

going soon,
but until then,
I’ll write these words,
using a laptop instead of a pen,

because it’s 2018,
and everything is strange,
“When I was a kid we didn’t even have cell phones!”,
oh well holmes I guess I have aged,

I’m drunk and surfing dating sites,
what a terrible combination,
what the heck happened to us humans anyways,
it’s 2018 and I’m online looking for a date what a predicament…

∆ Aaron LaLux ∆

We were under that tree
Where you caressed my hair free
Where you touched my lips slowly
And traced the outline deeply
I still hold that memory
It's embedded somewhere deep
Oh my love
I long for you
Come back to me.
-LN

I wish that for just one
******* second,
I could turn your mood around
like a Xanex bar can.
I wish that thoughts of me
flooded your mind to the point
where the day is ruined without me,
like you do with your zombie bricks.  
I am so tired of being second best
to a chemical mistress.