the tears won't stop forming
my heart won't stop hurting
I'm loosing my mind
because I'm loosing you.
my flesh
my blood
my sister.
****** is the kidnapper,
it took the shine out of her eyes
and made her feel "better".
it handed her a needle and spoon
and told her
'I am what you need'
is love not enough to stop the pain from escalating?
were my tears false evidence that I actual care?
this drug took away my blood
my flesh
my sister.
this drug ripped apart our family
our flesh
our Jessica.
and now all we are left with are
our grieving souls
wishing to give her a second chance at life.

This 'you' that everybody writes about are
The tears that stain our cheeks late at night,
The eyes that haunt our dreams every night,
The scars that remain as devil-ish memories of our weak moments.

I'm sick of this 'him' I'm sick of this 'her' that torments people day after day,
Making then write until their brain is pulsing and their hands are shaking.
I just want to be an okay me.
And if I need a 'him' to help me feel okay,
Then may God help me.
For I have no purpose in this world
Other than to rely on others for my heart to continue to beat.

I want to be the reason that I am still here.
I do not want to rely on another human soul.
For we are all doomed at one point to be nothing if that is the case.
But I just pray that if
Nothing we once were,
Then may our memories of life forever remain.

The night transforms,
Turning nature
Into a playground for nocturnal animals.
Playing hide and seek with the wind and the leaves,
I can only wish that I will someday feel that free.
I wish to run alongside a stream,
With no cares in the world about money or taxes
Or judgment or death.
I want to live,
Yet why at night do I sit alone in a house full of sin
Wishing my heart would stop
And I can forever run with the wind.
I want to live, and being trapped in this place with
Toxins and Depression
I will never be able to live to my fullest ability.

All I could hear were her silent tears,
Her silent mourning.
She was quiet,
But so loud.
She said she was fine,
But she wasn't.
Why she always lied,
I can never understand.
She wanted to be helped,
But she never asked.
She wanted to be okay,
But she didn't say.
She is me.
And I don't know if I want to be.

She cries late
                  every night
     Turns off all the
                           lights
         Sits in bed
bawls
             her eyes out
      in the dark
Cutting out pieces
      of her heart
No one can see
                          the scars
           of her sewing
back up her chest
       Soon she will be
             an empty shell
        Hopefully
                    putting her soul to rest
If her heart
                    is no longer there
It can't get broken,
              right?
If no one can see
                          the tears
Then she never cried,
                     right?

I see you looking at me, like you know me, but you don't.
I owe you nothing, yet stills you will still take, like my attention. Which you, don't deserve. I am human just like you, to be left alone, instead you direct your insecurities at me. Pointing out differences, labeled flaws by society, using fear, its not fair. But we are here, you are as guilty as me.