The way it all stops.
Late night conversations and ‘I love you’s’ then you tell me you’re done, and months later ask me why i ever pushed you away, so i don’t. My friends ask where you went and what happened and all i can think is “I wish i knew” It was always yours against mine, always.
Until you decided to leave.
Pretending everything is fine, it is, to everyone else.
You just want them to tell you that you meant nothing to them, as if that’ll make you move on.
You think it will. Does the past ever really stay here?
How his eyes always felt like home, but you realize homes are always temporary when he leaves you.
Nights you just want to scream 'YOU STOPPED TRYING. WHY DID YOU STOP TRYING’ you built walls around yourself so thick you so you could finally move on but they always seem to slip through the cracks.
He packed his bags but left all the memories he had with you, and you realize that the trick is to find someone who doesn’t own a suitcase.
The pounding in your chest when he slams the door on your heart and you shut your eyes, this is all a dream, this is all a dream.
One second
Two
Three
Four
Why isn’t he back yet?
Five
Six
Did i lose him forever? OH GOD THIS IS NOT A DREAM COME BACK and you sit on the bathroom floor screaming with your heart in your hands. You didn’t want him to say sorry just please don’t leave please don’t leave please don’t leave.
Seven
Eight
Nine
This is whatever it is, i guess. It’s so cold without you. My heart still hurts. Baby i miss you, it’s so cold.
Ten
This is it, i love you

1 in 12 transgender people are killed every single year.
1 in 12 i can't walk the streets alone at night.
1 in 12 public restrooms are a choice of being yelled at, or being beat up.
1 in 12 i hide behind my hoodie and keep my head down when im in "shifty" places.
1 in 12 having to wear the incorrect school uniform because "kids can be cruel"
1 in 12 you're not a "real man" if you don't have a *****, and if you do have one, you cannot be a woman, like there is a set of rules.
1 in 12 i can't get i job because if they find out i'm trans they'll use slurs in the place of my name.
1 in 12 living a lie because i want to be alive.
1 in 12 but am i truly alive, if im constantly hiding behind a mask?
1 in 12 is it too selfish that i just want to survive?

poetry
isn't just words on paper
words are flowing
like paint from a brush
these words make you feel something

the hardest
part of
saying
goodbye is
the fact
that
sometimes
there's no
closure