L - Hello Poetry

L Aug 2018

They didn't want to know me.

They just wanted me to be okay.

And I was not okay.

#byl

L Aug 2018

I have to remember. I have to remember
this. for as long as I can. for forever.
I have to. I cant let this go. I cant let this feeling

go.

#memory #clouded #ptsd #shelter #forget #protect #remember #byl

L Aug 2018

The Walk (1)

I almost broke down. I could have. I was keeping it together. I just kept thinking,
"I just have to make it.
Just get home.
Just make it.

#walking #thinking #overwhelmed #emotion #somuch #itsalltoomuch #but #itsalso #just #enough

L Jul 2018

psychosis

No! Let him go!

Scratch at the cage. Scratch and scratch. Away. Got to get away. Dig out. Dig out.

Theyre coming. Sit and hide and wait. Sit and wait and hide. There is no where to hide. No where to go. Need freedom.

Theres nothing you can do that i have not already done to myself. There is nothing you can do that i have not already done to my self. There is nothing you can do. There is nothing you can do.

Away! GET AWAY. its just me. It has to be just me. Just take me. Its me. ME!

There, there. There, there. Its okay. Im here. Im here. Its me. Im me.

****.

Im sorry. Im so sorry. Please let him out. Let him out.

Second-hand misery

#maddness #lordhelpme #reality #imagery #******

L Jul 2018

wallow

That **** hurts. So many feelings stemming. Hurt, sadness, frustration. Im just trying to take care of my ****. Im doing my thing.
Can I not relax? Can I not stop?

Forever on this hamster wheel called life; forever just a rat in a cage. Fatten me up for the snake. Get nice and familiar; comfortable. Before I disappear, look unto me. See what it is you are doing. Take a look at me. And then really take a good look at yourself.

Wallow swallow tallow mallow follow.

#rat #cage #smashingpumpkins #snake #feels #feelings #hurt

L Jul 2018

The Robot and The God

Robots and gods.

Is this madness?
It must be.

On one hand, the robot feels.
The robot knows what it wants, takes it.
But has difficulty feeling what other people are feeling.

On the other hand, the god watches.
The god orchestrates and plans things to go its way.
But feels as though it doesnt have control over itself.

It manipulates and prods.
It is calculated.
It is watching.
It is observant.
It is careful, caring and emotionless.
Yet full of it. And still yet unexpressive. Full of life. Trapped in their vessels; their roles.

What am i?

Trippin.

#two #friends #robot #god #monotony #brilliance #omnipotence #chaos #andthentheresme #byl

L Jul 2018

D

**** you. Establishing a fake, quick-and-easy false sense of connection, closeness, & intimacy. (Who can so easily share such a dark and painful secret. And all the while proceed to practically skip away like some whimsical creature in which you are.)
Take my breath as I see yours also being expelled from your lungs. (Why is it such the effect you have on me and why, oh, why can i so clearly see it on you as well?)
Lord bless me in spite of these impure thoughts & urges within me, as I glance no more than a few half seconds, for it is all my heart can take. (Oh the things i would do to you. Oh the things i would let you do to me)

Mmph

#mmph #justmmph #attraction #passionate #confusing #strange #odd #confusion #feelings