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Sophia Apr 2017
19
I feel my innocence
slipping away
through fingers clasped as tight as
sand slipping to the ocean floor
Thick waves engulfing it and tying it down
like anchors

around my neck i feel the weight
of the opportunities i’ve missed out

and i’m not sure how much longer i can keep afloat
without letting the doubts sink me down by hidden treasure chests of siren calls.
Sophia Mar 2017
I don’t want to be called pretty, don’t want to be thought of as pretty, don’t want to be pretty.
I’ve wasted so many years of my life trying to be pretty, skinny, girly, cutely, and another box of labels i tried to fit onto my ragged skin to no avail

Don’t call me pretty. Don’t call me cute.
I’m not.

I’m smart. I’m thoughtful. I’m kind. I’ve got softness hidden in the bottom of my heart and I’m proud it stuck with me for this long.

I’ve got tired happy eyes and a round nose and hair unruly, soft curves and thick thighs.

I’ve got scars that show I’m more than skin and bones, scars to prove I’m a survivor, a warrior. Scars to prove I’ve never given up.

I’m not pretty. I never will be.
And you know what?
I’ve never been more content than the moment i realised

i am enough.
without your labels, without your compliments, without your back-handed insults or catcalls.

i am enough.
i'm not a label, not a demographic. i'm just a person.
Sophia May 2016
It's 5:00 am

   The world is asleep
   everything seems still
   (Except the heartbeat of the sea that never seems to cease,
   soothing troubled thoughts with its infinite pulse)
  The world is a clash of still and rural.
The sky blushes the softest shade of pink, complementing the pale shade of blue, as soft as a mother's kiss on her newborn child's forehead.
  The skyline, though etched with the softest colours, maintains its ferocity-never letting us believe it is not our governor, the ruler and observer of all.
  Vivid colours clash and compete, biting each other like siblings in a fight, one taking over the other until nothing is left but the slow fade of the moon's unearthly glow.
Through the quiet still of dawn, the first rural sounds are made; the first tweeting of an early-risen bird, the booming of the car of the hard-working man; the lazy paddling of someone who the God of slumber had yet to hastily kiss goodnight (dawn is this mans' lover).

Surrounded by this beauty, by this infinite potential of hollow peace,
of momentary silence,
my thoughts seem to cease as well, in order to pay respects to this natural shrine of artistry.

The only thing tying me to my feet being the bitter taste of caffeine and smoke,
the only thing tying my mind to my body being the constant whisper of waking nightmares
though they too seem to still in awe; letting me cut them open and pulse them out into ink and paper.
(The world is beautiful
and that reminds me of you)
Sophia May 2016
I don't need
To smoke my lungs into oblivion

You already deflated them

With just a single look.
Sophia May 2016
You once asked me who I write about
How these words seem to hold my entire heart in their spaces

I laughed at you, the spite in your eyes terrifying,
and blowing out smoke I spelled the words- no one.

No one comes to mind when I write about love.
No one comes to mind when I write about my heart teetering and thrashing into a million pieces.

A face that will haunt me for a lifetime doesn't keep me up at night.
There's no sad back story to your manic pixie girl dream.

Nothing is here for you to fix and nothing for you to be intimidated from.
No one comes to mind when writing ****** ****** love poems.

Not even you.
I write whatever I feel like writing and I'm not obliged to give you answers.
Sophia Apr 2016
I tried writing poems
About people that weren't you

I tried writing about the boy with the sweet smile
That texts me everyday

I tried writing about the lady with the dark blonde hair
and tired eyes that I met on the subway last night

I tried writing about me, about the monsters in my bed
That haunt my dreams at night,

I tried to write about anything else but you,
But you flow through my pen like blood through pulsing veins,

And it's hard to close the wounds when the sutures are as sturdy
as duct tape on a plane engine.
I tried to forget you, but every now and then your face haunts my thoughts and you won't leave unless I write you down.
Sophia Apr 2016
Sometimes,
late at night,
or early in the afternoon,

Sometimes in the morning
and sometimes during noon,

I get this itch on the grooves of my palm.

Then inner turmoil becomes instant calm,

Only if I fit a pen between my thumb,
and index finger,

And then that itch will move and tither,
and far away from my hand it'll slither

It'll work its' sneaky way inside my brain,
And halt to stop along the way,

To push my feelings, and my pain,
my insecurities, my fears, all drained,

and pulsing out through that very pen,
the itch made me hold once again.

And I'll bleed, and bleed and bleed,
until there's no more use for ink

And the minute that the ink runs out,
the itch disappears; without a sound!

When will it be back? Who knows?
Meanwhile, my breath returns,

The itch now scratched and my mind relieved,
My whole life was scribbled on a sheet.

And through that sheet my feelings sprout,
until that itch comes back around.
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