I stood on the bridge
Head dangling over the side
With dark waters below

I thought hard

So hard that my head started to spin
So hard that I couldn't breathe

And then I did nothing

I could have taken the plunge
All it would have took is a little step
A small push

But I didn't

I don't know if it was fear or willpower
That made me walk away

And somewhere in the back of my head
It felt like cowardice

I thought it was going to end

But tonight, I survived

As I was falling asleep
I opened my eyes

And suddenly it felt like the darkness
Was encroaching on me

Threatening to swallow me whole

I couldn’t breathe
I couldn’t think

I can feel anxiety gripping my stomach

Clawing it’s way into my chest cavity

I can’t breathe

My body doesn’t feel like my own
It feels as foreign as the forest
Empty and quiet
Unsure of the way back home

My conscious feels distorted
Warped beyond my belief
Balancing on my frontal lobe
Threatening to fall

My limbs feel like tattered branches
Clinging desperately to the trunk
Only the bark is so thin and frail
That it can barely support even itself

I am not myself anymore

I can’t stop thinking about you

About the way you laugh

The way you squeal at the sight of fuzzy kittens

Or the way your cheeks dimple when you smile

You’re always on my mind

You were the light at the end of the hall

Assuring me that no matter how dark my days will be

You’ll be there to shine on them

But you don’t really feel the same, do you?

Not anymore, at least

I think our sparked died out

Flickered from our existence

But I still can’t stop thinking about you

Even though I know you’re not thinking about me