I don't know how to express it yet, not really.
But I do feel love coming my way,
As from that fresh air outside today,
To the moment where I might just say...
That I love you.

I just really want to experience that,
Sitting beside the fire,
I'll never forget,
Looking at the sky
With you,
I am smiling,
And you, too.

Your eyes depict the stars for me,
The sky is open, full of blessings,
Just like the feeling that I get
When you are holding me.

Don't you regret whatever thoughts may make you,
But be here with me, my butterfly,
My sun at the night sky,
And my fire fly
Of delight.

You are the highlight to my light,
Sharing these deep moments
With you,
Means so so much.
I literally always miss your touch.

Although I am at peace with me,
Or trying to be,
I love to share moments of love with thee.

Out of time
No one minds
Anything
At all

Floating
Two crazy
Minds
And two
Whirring
Souls

Far away
But home
In your
Arms

Your touch
And comfort
Warm
Like
Home
In
Winter
Like snowflakes
On the windows
Painting.

Like the sound
Of rain in the summer.
Soft.
Cozy.
Refreshing.

Everlasting
Moment
With
No
Time.

Harmony
Is our
Song
I am sure
You heard it
Too.
This night.

Uncovering
Undercover
Ideas

I recover
From long madness
Called N-U-M-B-N-E-S-S

Held me in
For too long
Behind bars
Made of steel
Of fears

F-E-A-R-S

Instead of
TEARS

I wished many times
I could feel SADNESS
But all I felt was
NOTHINGNESS
And nothing else

Then I looked precisely
At the NOTHINGNESS
And found everything
Hidden in there.

Not only SADNESS
and NEGATIVITIES
But even HAPPINESS
and POSITIVITIES

I found new POSSIBILITIES
And the NOTHINGNESS
Became EVERYTHINGNESS

just like the colour WHITE
consists of all the other colours
Combined.

Trust the process. They say.
But what if I am the process?
Anyway, my mind is directing my actions,
My body's the one to obey.
But shouldn't it be in a vice versa way?

To listen to the body, for a change.
I can imagine that, but can I manage that?
The body knows the healthy way,
Why should my mind lead instead?

Back to the roots, they say.
I weren't there, I state.
I cannot know for sure,
The origin of human way.

Does the body ever speak to me though?
Oh, I'm sure it at least sometimes whispers.
Don't eat that sugarfilled product, you,
I need simply more oxytocin.

This one weak voice, you can realize,
If you pay attention very closely,
Our bodies miss the human touch,
But we feed it with chocolate, almost chocking.

Our bodies miss sports, exercise,
Do you feel, how your muscles get weaker?
Get out there, for a fresh morning run,
Your body will be happier much quicker.

Let your health be the leader of your day,
Listen to your inner body's voice,
It has every minute-hour, much to say,
It's about life, for what it's worth.

Our bodies miss love,
Our mind's blown away,
Shouldn't we listen up,
And give our bodies a say?

Numb?
No actually better already,
Painful?
halfway, not full I suppose.
Thought I was so very aware,
Turned out, I didn't know half of the truth.

Fears chasing me, yet again.
And I try to stay in the moment,
Maybe that was the mistake,
I held on to it, with force.

I was convinced, my inner state,
Must feel all pure and harmonious,
Every time I have made it into the
Present moments.
But very possible I was wrong,
And I covered my fears with an image,
Of how I would think,
A moment in human's life should feel.

Sounds bit complicated, I know.
But I know what I talk about.
I am tired of hiding the unpleasant,
I better live with, not without it.

In fact without it, that's not possible.
At least till I have cleared it up.
It can't disappear, it's emotional,
And I used to cover it up.

It was a part of my perfect thinking,
I idealized myself,
In my view, I am a real warrior,
A hero for the weak and dead,
I put this expectation on myself,
I carried it around like a shield,
And though no arrow really got to me,
I still got traumatized, stopped to feel.
In fact behind the shield I was just hiding,
I hid my fears, my worries beneath,
I am still very sure that they're my weaknesses,
I tried to be different, and the result was this.

I truly stopped to feel real pain,
I fell to ashes and got up again,
But through the journey,
I lost who I was,
And my humanity got lost.

Now I am standing here,
My shield, still in my hand,
But I have made a hole,
To look through it instead.

I am not ready to uncover,
How damaged I am underneath,
I am not ready to discover,
My truth and my uncertainties.

I'm wounded, but I am alive.
I see it although I still hide,
Under the shield,
A perfect game,
The sun, the rain,
They're all the same,
No light comes in,
And storms stay outside,
But I am here to live,
And I have to decide,
Can I let the illusion go,
Am I ready to meet with my soul,
Am I ready to show the world,
Who I am and who I'm actually not?

Truly, I didn't even know,
I held this shield through it all,
I just saw it in my hand and realized,
I am not as much a hero, as I fantasized.

In fact I feel really hurt and blind,
For the waking up is cutting within
At the same time I realize,
It is time to let life and light in.

It is a very small, though heavy step to make.
I am still shaking insecurely, I have fears.
I need more courage now,
Than I ever had,
And I'm glad, that now I understand that.

Of course I wonder
Of course I care
It's coming, soon,
Like in a different life,
It's either a date
Nor a simple encounter,
It doesn't fit into my last months strife.

I do prepare for a breakthrough,
I do prepare for a heartbreak too.
But I prefer to have it that way finally.
Better than fleeing from love endlessly.

I do need love in my life,
I do deserve the heat of touch,
I do deserve the butterflies,
The ups and downs,
The stress, the rush,
The anxious worries,
The dramatic stories,
The fear, the pain,
And the occasional gain,
The tears of luck,
The tears of disdain,
I could do this again and again.

Because I do choose my way,
I'll be ignoring, what they have to say.
There's nothing to lose after all, anyway.

And once you let me go,
I set my love for you... free.
There are no boundaries for love
In my life, and for me.

So that's my goal,
I'm gonna haunt the truth,
After all it's only this one life,
And how often do we love
Like this?