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Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
Dear WickedHope,

You are a beautiful shade of exquisite.

I have read you poetry and it saved my wrist many times.

From harm that I would have inflicted.

Your poetry has made me feel less alone.

Your words that you wrote

The words made out of you

The emotions that you sculpted with letters

Have saved me from myself

Many times

And you are so strong

So beautiful inside and out

So deserving of love

And it sounds like you have gotten hurt

A thousand more times

Than anyone could ever deserve

I genuinely admire you

I want to recognize you for your flawless poetry

And your unbelievable strength

Dealing with all that you have

And being brave enough

To wear the mask we all do when we have burdens

To keep secrets you don’t deserve to be forced to keep

I just want you to know

I can’t love you on a personal level

Because I do not know you on a personal level

But I love you as a poet

And I really hope

One day

You learn to love yourself as you deserve to be loved

And someone loves you the way you deserve to be loved

Stay brave and beautiful inside out.

<3



Causing bigger and more severe problems
That spiral outward like my depression
Taking out everyone, everything around me
Except I'm still here, and that's unacceptable
-WickedHope

This scares me. It also shatters my heart. You are so, so incredible. All of your poetry has completely altered my views on many things and been relatable to me and in that way, it is form of healing for me to read your work and find poetic phrases that directly apply to my life and it makes me feel less alone, and I really think you are a spectacular poet and person. There is a literal aching agony in my chest to read these magnificently written yet tragic lines. Please don’t hurt yourself anymore inside or out. Please don’t want to hurt yourself anymore. I am so thankful to you for your poetry.

I pretend to be okay
You pretend that you care
-WickedHope

You are so. So. Strong. To pretend you are okay, no Hollywood actress compares to those who act like they are fine when they really are not. It looks (judging by your poetry) to me that you have had to be an actress far too many times and ACT like you are okay. Well that “YOU” person in your poem may have pretended to care but I really do care. I applaud you for an acting job well done. You are brave to pretend for that long that well. I hope you don’t have to pretend like that anymore because you are wonderful and you deserve wonderful. You worth something. Don’t tell me I’m wrong about this.

But now I know I'm not enough
I'm not enough to deserve love
-WickedHope

You are more than enough. This is a beautiful and poetic line, by the way. Listen, I believe that when you write poetry, that work that you create is more YOU than anything you do, say or how you behave in life. I have read your poetry and you are one of the most deserving of love people I have ever come across. You can’t see how amazing you are.

I'm so fake sometimes
     But this is real
     I love you
     But no one loves me
     Not even I
     I just want to feel loved
     But I probably wouldn't even
     Recognize love
-WickedHope

Such incredible poetry, I am amazed. My soul is crumbling as I read this though. I hate the idea of you feeling unloved. Of you not knowing love. I loathe that idea. But you touched on an important aspect of life. So many of us are so fake, love so much and do not feel loved and do NOT love ourselves, myself included but one day soon, you will find love. You don’t need to recognize it, it just needs to recognize you. And it will.

Why is it we cure pain with pain?
-WickedHope

Because it is the only thing we know and we can’t bring ourselves to look for anything else so we think that further pain can heal us. It never does though, of course. What an insightful thought. You see life through a lens made of poetry. How beautiful. I admire that about you. You are an extraordinary poet.

Dear WickedHope,

You. Are. A. Precious. Perfect. Human. Being. Worthy. Of. Love.
And recognition and you don’t deserve the pain you have suffered depicted in your poetry.

Thank you for writing. It has changed and saved me as a person on many occasions.

~Lots of love~

-Ember
Check out WickedHope's poetry it is phenomenal.
WickedHope Sep 2018
I once felt like words gave me power
Like they gave my quiet shell of a self a leg to stand on
Now I feel like I have none left to speak, to write
I've been drained of verbs and left broken -- immobile
My adjectives fall soft and simple, even the deaf don't pretend to hear
It's strange
Being so far removed from the one you called yourself
I don't know what there is left for me to say
It's like being a young musician on stage
And people have slowly stopped cheering as they realized
You have no more tunes left to play
Yet I've stood frozen, stuck, despite myself
I'm waiting for them to come back
The words
The crowds
The self that I used to know
That I thought I did know
I haven't a clue to where they've left, to where they'll go
But I hope that they find it
The messages they seek
I can no longer provide them
My inkwell bone dry
My spirit missing it's former vibrance, now dully meek
They once called me wicked
I thought it ironically sweet
That for someone so bitter
Many worshiped me
Hiii...
It's been a while, I think, since you all got a nice wordy note from me.

I've been writing poetry for...8? 9? years now... And I've gotta say, I legit cannot tell if I've gotten better or worse. I used to write because I was ****** at life, or violently angry with myself, or if I wanted to do bad things. I don't feel like that anymore. Pretty much never. I've survived some ****, but now (all things considered at least) I'm starting to thrive a bit. When I was at my height of popularity on this site, or at least what my very ****** up and disillusioned perceptions gathered to be the height of it, I was sick. I was having regular dissociative episodes, was severely depressed, engaging in self harm in a variety of forms nearly daily, and very suicidal. If anyone is going through some ****, please seek help, and hold on. I promise it gets better. But yeah. When I was very aggressively using this site as an outlet, I amassed a good sized follower count and trended almost daily. The only poem I ever had make daily poem (which btw was toward the beginning of my worst downward spiral ever) was about hanging myself. Like what the **** lol. But if I helped people -- or even just one someone somewhere -- feel less alone, then I'm glad. But ever since I had started to get better I got less attention here. Which is kinda a weird feeling. I'm not sure if it's cause my writing started to **** or if I got less 'interesting' for lack of a better term, or maybe a mix. Or maybe it's all the changes this site has had over the past 4 years since I joined. Either way, it's weird... I feel like I don't know how to keep writing or improve... Idk, I'm just kinda...
stuck. ...This has been a stream of consciousness.

Anyway, I love you all. And in a special way those of you who have left this world for another. I will never forget you.
Pax,
Wicked
Lipsticks, painted red
      A smile on my face,
              Not seen before,
     Take a big swig from a bottle,
Drink more and more
      Until I end up on the floor
     Finally the *memories
are gone
When my sanity walks out the door

        I'm now on the ceiling,
   Though quite possibly dreaming,
My thoughts are far from clearing
            In muddled moments
    I find comfort and forget
             No longer chained
      Or to my own head in debt

Swishing the thoughts around my mind
    Like a good year of
         fine white wine
   Spitting out the rotten ones
Swallowing down a few,
        just for fun
     Intoxication at its finest,
Brazen, daring, brave and bold
           Leaving the past behind us
     Out in the bitter cold

          Frozen behind,
   No longer catching up to me
     I can stumble forward
            In my plastered euphoria
     A smile on my face
I can pick up my pace
         Audacious now, I feel
Doesn't matter how much of this is real

Reality is just in my mind
           Not easily defined
    By dreams, nightmares or ghosts
             From the past
       Reality is in this bottle,
                This pipe, or this needle
     Down to the very last
Drops of fantasy and candy
                   But ****,
           *It tastes so sweet
What a joy working with the young, yet so talented WickedHope, amazing.  :)
Andrew Quilles Dec 2014
Out of place and rather uncertain
Lacking instructions, suggestions and a warning
Bouncing about like a toy ball
Uncomfortable with all my tics
I've always felt so quirkily and small

Lacking order and any sense of being,
Feeling out of place, unloved no ones ever hearing,
Broken and bruised from head to toe,
My scars shining bright against the pale white snow,
Just because I couldn't learn to walk straight,


Crooked toothed but grinning
I always feel like I'm sinning
Every time I'm early I feel late
Burnt to a crisp is the price of the flame
I'm just a solo player stuck in this game*

Maybe I'm the sinner and you're the saint,
Your halo is burning, getting lost in the flames,
Take my hand and join with me,
For we can end the heartache that seems to be,
Lets be awkward together,
There's no one better
WickedHope Mar 2022
You are still my stars
My song
My night sky
My lullaby
You never thought we could be enough
But moments like this
You remind me why I fell in love with you
You make me want to go back
Just to feel it all again
Before the hope left
And I became Wicked
I was so awful. But you were too.
I guess that's just what youth is.
Thank you for the compliment, you always had a way with words.
WickedHope Dec 2014
WITH CONTRIBUTIONS FROM MULTIPLE POETS

You don't cut, your wrists are fine.
          If I was dumb enough to cut my wrists I'd have been caught by now.
You're not anorexic, I've seen you eat.
          How much, really?
You're not depressed, you smile all the time.
          Yeah, because acting and lying aren't things.
     ~
WickedHope

You can't have anxiety, you talk to so many people.
          Its funny how you see me talking, but don't see the panic attacks.
     ~
aesha nisar

You have a good life. There's no reason to be sad.
          You're part of the reason why I'm depressed.
     ~
Phoenix

You're not angry, you haven't raised your voice or yelled.
          Maybe the voices yelling in my head are so loud I can't do anything
          but focus on keeping them quiet.
You're not scarred from your past, you act normal.
          If normal is crying for hours at night till tears can't come anymore
          and apathy sets in, then yes I'm quite normal.
     ~
Stardust

You are so lucky, it's so easy for you to be good at what you do.
          You don't see the intensity of doubt and countless hours of anxiety to
          get things to the point they're not too embarrassing to show someone.
     ~
PrttyBrd

You're fine. You aren't depressed, just really sad.
          If I'm not depressed, just sad, then why am I here everyday?
          Why am I here crying to you when I should be out, living?
     ~
Tiffany Smith

God I swear every guy you meet online just wants to bone you.
          You say that like its a good thing. All I want is someone I can trust,
          someone I can rely on, not someone who wants to bone me.
You have boyfriends from everywhere, india, japan, china...
          I have none. These are only friends, the only one I want is you.
Your so strong.
          Yea, 'cause going home to cry in a corner, then stuffing my face with ice
          cream while watching sad anime is totally legit.
Are you okay?
          No I'm not ok. I just want to punch both your eyes out, then cuddle with
          you and make out with your face. Then maybe I'll just take a long break
          to bawl my eyes out and get rid of all evidence, all but the telltale clue of
          how swollen my eyes are
     ~
Creep that Loved You

Come on. You can go to school. You're not sick.
          Physically, no. Now mentally...
Why are you so good at everything?
          That's because you don't bother to look deeper.
You look fine.
          Oh yeah, the red eyes and dark circles just add to my beauty.
I love you.
          Yeah, it looked like it when you were 'out' with your 'friends.'
     ~
maha salman

You're so resilient. You've been through so much pain, yet here you are living strong.
          That's because every time someone says, are you OK? I just smile and
          say I'm fine. But none of them can hear the screaming in my brain saying
          I should just die.
You're so beautiful.
          No.... The smile is fake, powder covers the circles under my eyes,
          mascara makes my eyes look bright and lip stick covers the bite marks
          on my lips from where I chew through them when I'm anxious, or
          panicking, or being asked questions. You would be repulsed by the
          beast underneath.
You're such a talented poet.
          If writing down my deepest darkest dreams, nightmares, fantasies and
          memories, make me a good poet, then yes. But all I write is the thoughts
          that scream to come out or my head will explode.
     ~
The Girl Who Loved You

You have never felt real pain, you are a man not a wuss.
          The worst pain hits you in the heart not in the head... Whats a man
          without pride, whats a man without a name?
Get over her bro, shes just one girl.
          One girl that I chose to love out of the 7 billion other people in the
          world.
Open up your heart to new people new things.
          What's the point in meeting people, when in the end they all just leave?
You aren't alone.
          I'm not alone? You lie through your teeth, where where you when I sold
          my soul to the devil and condemned myself to the abyss?
We are proud of you always, son.
          Words I've never heard, just the echoes of my parents inside my head.
You live a great life.
          That's not the message the untouched prescribed sleeping pills and           ecstasy portray.
     ~
Tapiwa Gerald Mateko

You're so patient.
          On the outside yes, in the recesses of my mind I'm screaming my
          head off... waiting for something that will never happen.
     ~
Julian Pacheco

Who cares about the others? You're not like them you're different.
          What if I don't want to be different? What If I want to curl up into a
          ball and pretend I don't think I'm failing you every moment of the day.
Life's not fair.
          Well maybe it's time it should be. Maybe it's time for us to stop
          thinking that we deserve more because that's all we've ever known.
          Maybe it's our job to MAKE life fair.
Forget it, move on.
          I don't want to. Shouldn't everyone be able to hold onto the things they
          hold close? If they were holding it close it meant something and if it
          meant something good then it's worth fighting for.
Shut up.
          No. This time I won't be quiet because I sit here and I listen to what you
          say every day; you treat whoever you want however you want and that
          is not your right. Everyone has an opinion. I want to share mine.
     ~
Forgotten Dreams

You're so confident.
          Only because you do not see the pain and turmoil it causes me
          inside, and the sores inside my cheeks to keep from crying.
Why are you shaking? It's not even cold.
          Because I'm scared, scared of scenarios untrue.
~
Makayla

You're not sad, you look so happy.
          Tell that to the guys who keep pointing all my flaws, and laughing
          about it, leaving me speechless because I have nothing to say in return.
You're such a good writer.
          And look how handy that is, won't ever shut them up for good.
You still have so much to live for.
          To keep living like this, might be considered anything but living. You're
          all too perfect for this world, but you know what? My body can't keep
          living in a different place my soul is.
     ~
A Sad Sam

Chill out man, it's just a couple people.
          To me, three people is like three thousand people. Their voices circulate
          in my head and drive me crazy until I can't help but break down. You're
          right, I should definitely just chill out because I don't know anything
          about the disorder that brings a constant burden to my days.
Why are you so antisocial? Get off the computer and do something productive for once
          Try the fact that everybody that surrounds me makes me feel like the life
          I live isn't worth living and the comfort of understand people on the
          internet keeps me sane.
You're so lazy.
          Don't you dare start on that, because every ******* day I wake up and
          breathe despite my lungs collapsing in on themselves from all the
          pressure people give me, and every single day I do the work I'm told to
          do and I'm trying my hardest but I'm fighting a war with myself and it
          takes up every ounce of energy I have left. Don't you dare tell me that
          I'm lazy when every day I take all the strength I have to keep on living.
     ~
Emma Tauzell

They had never met, didn’t know each other’s name --
          Yet their eyes were already making love.
     ~
Deborah

You can't really love someone you've never met.
          He's the first thing on my mind when I open my eyes, the last
          thing I think about before I go to sleep, he's in my thoughts all
          the moments in between, his face takes away the nightmares and
          fills all my dreams. How is this not love?
     ~
Just Melz

Just forget about her and move on.
          How am I supposed to do that, when all I see is her and her
          precious qualities I so dearly love in every girl I talk to?
          Forgetting is a lot harder to do than finding.
     ~
Neb Dnarts
Feel free to add to this in the comments,
and I'll tac it on the end with credits to your screen name.
Liz And Lilacs Nov 2014
Hope is a funny thing, you know. People have the power give it and to take it away. It's so easily crushed and easily stolen. Since I came to this site, I have loved your poems. Today, you made me feel wanted, special. Like somebody could care. And I want you to feel the same. I want to find you.
Love,
Liz and Lilacs
I'm awkward and you're really nice and words don't explain anything
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
(♡˙︶˙♡)

Ryn (RhymeSmith)

Truly one of the most creative poets here, a master of the concrete. I'm blessed to call him a dear friend and honored to read his poetry. I'm not sure he really knows what he means to me.
Love you!

Creep That Loved You

Even at a young age, she captures emotions that I cannot. She brings a tear with a few simple thoughts. I can call her my friend and caring, she has truly taught.

WickedHope

I don't think I've met another woman with so much soul, you've taught me things that have helped me grow. I'm truly blessed that your poetry, I've come to know.

Kalypso

I've never met another with so much going on, but still stands strong. The weight you carry upon your shoulders and what life has brought on... Well, I can honestly say, I'm envious of your strength and I hope we can grow our bond.

Ember Evanescent

A sweetheart, through and through, I'm so truly proud of you. You write with such courage, depth and truth. You believe in the good, even without proof. I hope joy and love shine down upon you.

WolfSpirit Aka QuinFinn

I'm not even sure where to begin! I've had a poetic crush on you from the very beginning. You're hilarious, smart and such a good friend. You always show compassion, love and understanding.

(I don't think I can rhyme anymore...)

Weeping Willow

An amazing, heathbreakingly beautiful person and poet. You write with such passion and pain. Never Stop.

Amitav Radiance

I actually don't know you too well, but I always look forward to your writes, please continue on.

Joe Malgeri

A painful style you have, yet you always bring so many fascinating aspects of life to light. I always smile when I see something new from you.

Cat aka Catbird

You're soulful and talented, I love to read your words. Seems your emotions just spill onto the page. I can relate and completely agree with everything you say. Also love chatting with you.

KetomaRose

So relatable. I respect you dearly as a poet and person. You truly have a passion and talent for writing. Please, never stop bearing your soul for us all to read.

Joe Cole

Well, Sir, can you say nature writing at it's finest? You have wisdom, style and I love the challenges you present. I hope to read your work for many years to come.

The Emerald Outcast

You're different, I like that about you. You stand up for the outcasrs, unknowns and underdogs. I'd like to think I try to as well, but you're much better at it. Such a skill with ink as well.

SPT

You're an old soul, with so much to offer us writers here on HP. Heartbreak runs through us all, but I treasure it, along with every word you put to ink.

Pradip Chattopadhyay

I haven't really talked to you much, besides comments but I always look forward to what you have to say. You bring a new outlook on things.

Natasha ML

A friend if there ever was, I thank God for the time zones cause otherwise you may not be up all night helping me through my troubles, and I through yours. You're an unbelievable poet as well

Thomas A Robinson

You have such an amazing insight into the world and the soul, I always look forward to your comments and poems. You are truly talented.

r

I still remember you saying my comment "this may be weird, but seriously dude, I love you" was the best comment you ever got. It's true, you're astounding and your followers and poetry prove that tenfold. Keep it up.

The DedPoet

You are far from dead, you are alive in every word you write and you bring meaning to my life. The agony, despair and pain you express has literally brought me to tears on a few occasions. You certainly have a brilliant way of expressing yourself.

Rose
Oh, my sweet winter Rose, you're truly so beautiful and amazing in so many ways. As a friend, you've been there for me and as a poet you've helped me believe in the impossible.
Love you!

AFJ

Oh my, do you truly make me feel. I remember the first poem I read by you and the ending truly shocked me to tears, about her feet not touching the floor and every one since has completely enthralled me.

Vicki

Another wonderful soul I have not spoken with much, but you always seem to like my every post and I always love yours. You make me smile and feel deeply.

Elsa Angelica

My dear, dear friend, how I love your happiness and joy in writing plus the love you've always shown to so many of us here on HP. I love every single thing you post, although we don't necessarily agree on some things, you're always there for me. You're beautiful, never forget it!

Frank Ruland

I may be biased, it's true, but you are the best friend a girl could have and every thing you write truly speaks volumes to the level of intellect and understanding you have of a broken spirit and heart. The ones you write with the song lyrics, my, word, if those artists read them, they'd be astoundingly proud. You have more depth, deeper meaning and metaphorical concepts in your poetry than anyone else. I believe you are truly my favorite poet, like.. EVER. I'm completely envious of you as a writer, poet and person. You show strength, courage and resilience, more so than I ever could. I love you deeply.

To anyone I have missed:

You're beautiful and I've read so much of your work as well, but as you all know... I read A LOT on here. Please forgive my oversight.

NEVER STOP WRITING

(♡˙︶˙♡)
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
This took a lot of time and thought. I hope you all enjoy. Please check out all the authors I've mentioned works. Thx. :)
Tupelo  Nov 2014
Dear WickedHope
Tupelo Nov 2014
I Will Dream For You,
A Spectator to your word,
They drip silently from your pen,
Pain and passion mixed beautifully,
I Will Call You No One,
Sometimes I can not speak after reading,
Empty and Beating left my heart throbbing,
Your poems got me all One Sided,
Never stop writing,
Every word was worth it,
And so are you.
Such a wonderful poet and does not get enough recognition. Everyone please go check out her page and follow.

— The End —