they emerge from the wooded neighborhood ridge and fringe at dusk
into breadth of lawn
& limb.
witchy chicks
casting banter n bitchcraft.
teenage dead end dreamers tipped in black magick lip gloss
& glitter, their
genderfluid familiars &/or wayward boyfriends apparate
in the street pink cloud spinning wheel,
& hawking bile.
****** stella smile.
swallow a hex, send a snap, tongue along his neck
promising to fold bodies before sunrise.
the effervescent gasp
of post-ritual clarity.

in the house,
is a kid.
a gig.
the devil with a younger grip.
& the kid thrills on a bit of the ol’
         u l t r a v i o l e n c e.
****** videogames, ****** anime, ****** mayhem n melodic music.
he is a conduit of dark energy.
a pure blooded offering of the stone age/video age,
mind in a kind of kaleidoscopic way.
he is me.
bred on televised bucket slime ceremonials.

she checks her purse.
drugs & snacks & juul & a pretty dead bird.
a daughter of delphi watching your kid.
tending to him.
trending him.
popcorn smelling him, the texas chainsaw massacre on vhs just before bed.
palace of teeth n twigs.
just a short walk to the edge and then its bath time.

             the demon version is grisly and cruel.
             the angel version is starry-eyed and adventurous.

to conjure some
  thing,
at the cliff jumping.
it was fun.

You cannot frame the oceans waves.
Forever changing,
vibrant blue -- ever-changing into deeper shades of understanding.
A never changing struggle between the sand and the water.
I am the ocean -- blue.

Genderfluid
I am a girl, at least to everyone but me,
I am gay, and straight too, and both, and neither,
I do not want attention, I even try to avoid,
But you call me a she,
But I am changing, every day,

I cry when you know I am not so,
I am a boy today...I am gay
You don't notice, or care,
You just put more cuts on my wrist,
And hurt me more with every word...
"*****," you call with ease,
But you do not know, I am a boy today
"****," you say... I am a ******

Death my mind calls with every single word...
But you do not care, for you smile at my pain, as I call for my love,
"Dakota..."

I know my face is feminine
I know everyone 'knows' I'm a girl
I know in this confusing christian society
You have to keep to the binary

And so I don't expect them
To look at me
And say "He"

But just once
Maybe they'll hesitate
Before saying "She"

She laughed when I first told her
Only nine years old, my little sister
"Sometimes I feel more like men"
"Well, that makes me a frog, then!"
"But really, I'm not only a girl"
That's when she almost began to hurl
Her face scrunched up, she was crying
No longer thinking I was lying
"Don't worry, it sometimes lasts only a day"
She sniffed, "Will this go away?"
"It's always been here, nothing new"
"Tell mommy and daddy, they can help you"
I tried to explain how I felt
Took her face in my hands and knelt
"Sweetie, remember our secret game?
It's still me, I'll always be the same"
She nodded, finally eased
I told her my pronouns and was quite pleased
When daddy asked "What's my big girl up to"
She replied "He's really busy, lots to do"

Let’s get something straight
I’m not
Or at least, that’s a situation in question
But that’s not what I’m here for, you see
The acronym LGBT has a terrific little tail that everyone tends to trip over
And the conversations that transpire when I attempt to try the closet door
Leave me frequently swept under the rug
Maybe I’m just a little lost in translation
But they should know that identity is not orientation
And it can be tricky to articulate, so I don’t mind the extra explanation
But I’m telling you there’s a tipping point where you can’t expect me to take it
To tally up the talks I’ve had tearing apart the phrase
“So, genderfluid is like another word for bisexual, then, right?”
Because there’s already this his-and-hers internal tug-of-war
So tying in other types of ignorance just gets tiring at times
And trying again and trying again and again to get the point across
Leads me down a tangled train of thought that runs off the tracks in unclear tangents
Because conversations transition without the intended amendments
Because these transcripts would transcend the usual transfer of data
Into transgressions and obsessions with more than I’m able to
Confirm or confer without temperamental reactions
Feeling entirely translucent overlooking their infractions
Wondering why more words aren’t composed in a way that allows them
To be transposed to neutrality or at least farther from
Specific definitions testing how gendered things can get
Wondering why I don’t make any sense yet
[Breathe]
Let me be perfectly queer
The acronym LGBT has a tetrad attraction detailing at least part of this
Just a trifle of understanding if you’re looking to comprehend it
And if you don’t care to learn then don’t bother to ask
But take some time from your day and I’ll try to make it fast
Go ahead and interrogate, I don’t mind all that much
Whatever trips your trigger, as long as it’s not pointed at us
I can’t speak on behalf of every transgender teen
But if you don’t know a word, I can tell you what I mean
I can text you a trillion terms to absorb
Or trim down the lesson to the basics if you’re bored
But don’t tell me that pronouns are a hassle to learn
When they catch in the throats of those just waiting their turn
To stop hiding their tears and be treated the same
Teaching one person at a time until the world hears their true name
Don’t expect trophies, but I’ll give you my thanks
Don’t tease us about the clothes that make our spines and souls ache
I want to wear this letter T like a cross from my neck
Saying the prefix trans- means across and I like it like that
Traversing the spectrums and binaries all mixed
Transcontinental, transatlantic, transfixed
By the beauty in boys and the glamour in girls
But mostly the neithers and boths in this world
Don’t tell me it’s a transient, temporary tale
Or that I’m totally enamored with getting off the most followed trail
I’m taking back traumas and tense muscles and taunts
Until tentative trespassers give us what we want
A presence, a voice, and all human rights
It shouldn’t be a privilege to feel safe at night
Don’t tiptoe around troubles, just stand with us here
Add a voice until we trumpet our triumphs and cheers
Take my hand, hear my voice
Listen, learn something new
Because LGBT has a cross and
Cross my heart
I’m with you

Some of you sisters are so tired right now
Tired of fighting, tired of feeling you're loosing
Tired of working in an atmosphere of disrespect
Tired of feeling alone with no one to make things better

Whether trans, genderfluid, non binary or cis
Everyone seems to be struggling right now
And I'm also feeling it with struggles of my own
Like dark clouds rolling in before a big storm

But I want you to know that I'm thinking of you
Even though my words shared in private are few
My heart and soul is crying for us all
And wishing I could do more to bring sunshine to you

Just know that I love you, and wish we were close
In the same city at least, where I could help most
But even though I can't, and live far away
My thoughts and prayers are with you each and every day

by Lj Mark