Man life know just set eyes way like young world soul day hunger space mouth earth thoughts ignorance blind things mind knew final moment human creation kind creatures souls high forgotten dream love spoke self existence face holy deep bound think home void say surrender ear forever called held ephemeral red state end shall heed hope edge living waking fall sea wake garden need February thought past wanderer got men page colored tepid terrible **** proudly untitled features point painted faceless box forgot render wild spring splendor  handfuls looking half brain lost torn ancestral  unseen vision inner summer honor mister owned banner save today fear groans wasn't smoke  street fable strange year contrast black years  able pain body spoken word known motion  palpitate reeling nature culture disclaimers  cancer beg attentive frames ****** base profound double remember wholly finger death token  cries continue folk oh fishing form broken true  divides spread ah twas away breathe wait 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You are what your reading lady. Now would you hold this gun?

Began with an emotionless admittance of a fact of attraction
I never imagined that even this would happen
But then emotionless admittance because emotional satisfaction
Desires I didnt remember could feel different in action
Fact is hearts never had to have
hope, to hope, to happen

I already knew that affection runs in all directions
but to realize that for it to be tinted ****** did not mean it was an infection,
that essentially it was all aimed at knowing your perspective and introspection,
and has become the spectacular insight that
between two people so alike and different as you and i,
this weird state of existence in ****** desire and friendship,
is beginning to be the exceptional exception to my age old misdirection.

I dont know if its just because you were there for the discovery
but i think for sure it has to do with your desire to discover me

so
when i begin to remember
how uncertainty and smiles slipped
across your skin the same way
blue silk did,

How uniquely i get to discover
the willingness to take leaps of faith
in my seeking faithless friend

How remarkably shocking it is
to see you lay yourself bare before me
and that you, to me
are such much more than half naked.

I get to see you.
I get to know more of you
than i ever have before
I get to discover so much more of who you are
when your plush pajamas hit the floor

Difficulties in your life do not come to destroy you or worse create a war within or between you and your life- they come to help you realize your hidden potential, your abilities, your capacity for great things; they come to meet you as prompts to connect you with yourself and begin to move deeply into the growth phase you are inherently and subconsciously needing.

It hits like a force unknown
Forgotten was I in the abyss below
Love is traded for hatred
And traded only for your innocence
Is the purity of your soul

You were forgotten in the hopes of something better
Shoved back against the wall
No sounds but screams
No visions but blood

Alone am I again
In the blood of innocence
In loving arms was I again
Then tossed into the pits, alone

Torture of my mind and soul
Confusion doth taketh it's toll
Thought once it was that something changed
To only fall back into memory

And in the instance of yearning trust
I realized what love had cost
Forged in sin is my innocence
My blood upon the white tiled floor...

each breath is a longing
the admittance
of life sustaining poetry

My body has not once been a temple.

I remember years ago,
sitting poolside with my grandmother,
her spidery, veined hands touching my knee:

"Your body is a grand temple,
only those who are holy are worth admittance."

And her stern sincerity made me laugh.

My body is a wet, lush jungle.
My body has been trampled through and lived in.

Destroyed, burned,
yet always continues to rebirth itself from the rubble and debris.

Am I any less for this?

My body is a mystery,
a slow wafer on the tip of a school boy's tongue.
A dark, cool place to rest your weary head.
A place to let your feet press into the rich soil
and feel like maybe you can call this home.

I think one time,
a man with dark hair and light eyes thought he could
reduce me to mere trees and rain,
not knowing the jungle is not a safe place.

Unlike those with temples for bodies,
my heart lives deep in a hidden cave guarded with
sharp memories that feel like claws.

My memories have teeth,
and my heart has a brain.

It is like some steampunk nightmare
Where working overtime is a racket
When what was time and a half pay
On the day I get my check, I make less;
Some kind of tax bracket scam thing
Where working extra hours put me
Into another category and increased
The tax they use to grease the wheels
Of a bloated government that hates me.
Maybe that dates me and it isn’t true;
That things have changed and it is
No longer arranged that way. And maybe
The way things became done was that
I got it all back as a refund. But isn’t that
Redundant, that I had to pay it to them
To use it like per diem for their games?

The shame is that I chafed and did nothing
Besides ******* and frothing at the mouth.
It’s not like I could go south to Ensenada,
Buy a piñata that looked like Mickey Mouse,
It was just that the house always wins.
But I have to pay for my tiny, mundane sins.
Why don’t they? Why does it go on and on
And then the money’s gone and I pay more
The next time some fat ***** of a politician
Begins a petition to increase their slice
And nicely reduce ours to a pittance
So low there is no admittance to a show
Or enough to replace a car that is a wreck?

The albatross around my neck gets larger
As it I move farther from the day it died
Even though I have tried standing up straighter.
It’s The Grand Guignol Theatre that life is
And the strife is to not let it get me down;
To be the happy clown and not the sad one
In a game that was begun to make me lose.
I am not confused. I see it, but it seems
Even in dreams I get no kind of relief
From a governmental thief with immunity;
The pillages with impunity and teases
That he does what he pleases. Neener, neener
What in hell could possibly be meaner?

Descriptive words could not say enough,
Informing you without any expectations,
A simple need to express the damage,
Of not meeting your qualifications.

You're ignorance; both gift and curse,
False belief from your deception,
Subsequent pain leading to anger,
Infiltrated like an infection.

Valuable lessons learned from you --
Benefit of the doubt should not be given,
Further regret seeped into life,
Now that my demons have arisen.

Plunging into bitter sweet weakness,
A temptation I could not resist,
Pathetic attempt at leaving flesh,
As the blade split open the wrist.

Consumed at my loneliest moment,
Tired of giving without receiving,
Defeated by my persistent demons,
Manipulated by thoughts of relieving.

Perception changes with reality,
Enlightened by harsh, clear thoughts,
A choice to no longer be controlled,
Thus, the day that I fought.

Strong desires to be able to forget,
Lips softly speaking lies after lies,
Though admittance was not achievable,
The truth came from your eyes.

Care was not something of existence,
Simply sheets and pillows,
Know that in the end it will be you,
as sad as the leaves of a weeping willow.