to make art that entertains the people that don't know
to make art that bores the people that do

to create for the ignorant to enjoy
to create for the wise to ignore

to produce something that the shallow lavish
to produce something that the indepth expect

to shape an idea that fools them
to shape an idea that makes you the fool

to be mediocre at my passion
to be mediocre at my life

Heart tormented throughout the age
Seeing nothing but destruction
Cruelty the best of the worst
Scarred for life
By a mother's emotional abuse

Never feeling comfortable around men
Afraid of anything more indepth than ***
Finding a nonjudgemental man
Thinking to repairing the past
Unknowingly mimics the mother

Finally swept away off the feet
Married, optimistic of the future
A child born early
New mother now turns the page
Happy as can be

Hormones a woman's curse
Cause heartache and despair
Mixed with the abuse of the past
Trying to over come
Badly, wanting to be good

Years pass by like rain
Flooding the family as it grows
No desire felt, yet in love for sure
Lost, scared
Self preservation reigns high

Sins of the mother passed down
Sharp tongue, quick wit
Cutting deeply through the love
Wants despartely to want, need
Tries to hang on to give not take

Illness prevails
Striking down
Hormones and desire all put aside
Attempts to reach out
Just cannot

You stop trying and give up
It gets worse
Make it stop mommy
Don't leave Daddy
Tear paint the canvas

Have I been so cruel
Ungiving and cold
Cirumstances piling up
Body becoming older

Beggs and pleads to try to fix
Isn't just a cold hearted woman
A beautiful soul inside
Just needs nourishment
Don't turn away

Don't toss tthis lifeaway
Not into the trash
Try harder
Meet a quarter of the way
Whatever you decide

Please Don't  turn away

When I write, I am in my own world. An entire different world.
Putting this world into words to bring it to vitality , where the true me indepth exists.

My thoughts are my enemies, and overthinking is my best companion , joining along with my soul that ignited the two different worlds , as the world inside my head and the world where my unfortunate reality lays , are connected in those writings of mine.

Once I hold my pen, it seems like I could write endlessly for eternity.
The intellectual me is raging for more and more vitality , it's deeply intricate where my thoughts and those worlds meet.

But my thoughts are the biggest cravers for their freedom. And there, in my mind , I live and in words and letters , I expose my true inner self.

Why do you repel death
As if you stepped on an uncouth reptile
That stupified your mirth with a sting
and stiffled your brearth with dark coils round your girth?

The sibling death was with you ever since your birth
As close and distanced  as the self-effacing unmouthed mammoth  earth.

Throughout your path
And  passage along childhood to Man or
Motherhood
You did not see the truth
That death was with you ever since your
Being to  becoming growth
As a naive and native
Star in the north.

When you giggled and smiled in sleep-shell
the death was smiling with you as well.
When you dreamed and deemed yourself immortal
The death was kind at your daring mettle.
When you forgot to know the worth
Of the Love Smith
Who carved you as the crown of creation
The death was with you, an emphatic narration, a gentle witness of your lavished wishes of yourself.

Death was around you
Embracing your kiths
With valour indepth
And a love of eternal strength!

Still you strolled  uncontrolled to count your mortal home and hearth,
Ephemeral wherewithal

Death was ever loving
And lent you a free living
Even when you were  ailing.


Still you failed in your mirth
To listen and learn
From  what its worth
Still he is mute and modest as earth
And a caring and guiding  north star.

Then why do you loathe
And  show dearth of love to the one who
Loves all in equal strength
And blanks out all balance sheets,  
That credit and debit all accounts on earth
To the remembrance bank of infinity
without showing any disparity?

Misconceptions of infatuations.
Assumptions, contradictions, & afflictions.
Situations ignite & dissolve.
Worlds collide and revolve.
Lifes rebirth is unearthed.
A marvel concept.
In tune and indepth.
Filtering the info you hide.
Only sharing what you confide.

My indepth expression
is suppressed,
drugs posses,
my emotional memory

Hello, you.
I won't bid adieu,
till we finish these few
stanza's.

You came looking again.
am I right?
You just can't tame
those feelings, thinking-Poetry
will make'em behave- quite.

Well. We're both at a loss.
My own pen resists writing
icy words. Frost.
Bitten sentences need warm eyes
to thaw out.

Tell you what, lets
work. together.
I'll write something, anything which'll
forever, stay.
You just have to promise to remember it
and not twist it.

I'm not sure if our talk
was lengthy enough or indepth.
You'll just have to accept.
This; Metaphorical-Physical-Emotional-Mental
discussion has ended.

What we may of, or may not of, agreed upon.
Shall come true.
Now
adieu.

t'was taken by surprise
what a fool I've been
scarred by infracture
of the heart

I was mistaken
believing in you
my body debilitated
by love untrue

t'was my indepth failure
that I did not see
the beast that you are
shall always be

I have let your spirit
tear me apart
but no more, Miser
so spare my heart

I beseech the beast
that entered therein
and with no regrets
I consumed him

nevermore
to be misled

I am, as a philosopher,  interested in all things and guilty of a charge if  it causing involuntary thoughts leading to indepth discussion and unfathomable parallells, materialises;

But none,  more so than you.
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