I aM so dOne. So tiReD of bOys asPiriNg to be Men, gRabBing my fRaIl heArt and slOwlY teAriNg it apArt. So eXhauSted frOm fixiNg evEry one. PIckiNg up tHeir lOose scRews aNd wAisTing my haPpinEss trYing to fix thEm. My yoUng soUl has AgeD too fAst. My youNg sMile tuRned tirEd. My sickening desiRe to be yEt agAin intOxicated By loVe. I bEg for my sOul to be loSt in soMeoneS smoKe. I craVe for my mInd to be lOst in someoNes fingers. To have my hEart feEl the boTtom of a sHoe. Strange fEelingS tiCkle my coLD hearT.

every poet the world deems great
has written an elegant legacy
dedicated to himself
tallying all his wisdom
as he glorifies in his shame
he decidedly exalts his ego
and spreads the infamy of his name

so my muse, accept my invocation
as I write myself into epic proportion

collecting the vast library of my life
I eagerly fold back the cover
of the first volume in mint condition
but as I open it I learn astonishment
every page shines in unblemished white

in my fearsome excitement
I **** each book carelessly off the shelf
tearing pages and breaking spines
as the discarded books crash to the floor
and when it is completed all I have
is a pile of broken futures
and only a slender volume represents
the object of my reckless search

this book now my chief treasure
I sit down at my cluttered desk
to incline my ear and listen
and discern what material is worthy
for inclusion in my great work of art
but I am shocked to discover
that the pages hold insufficient promise
except the whisper of future possiblilities
which I have just hurled into dust

in the grand tradition of yesterday
I must finish in the same way I began

every poet who has written
a heroic tale of self
has exausted all his wonder
and reduced his life to metred lines
the good things are all gone
and all that remains is bleak and empty
when seen in the light of dawn

I grabbed the lighter off the counter
I walked outside
It was late
I was home alone that night
I sat on the side of the sand box in front of my house
My hand was shaking
I was exausted
I was stressed
I just needed something
Anything

I pull the Cigarette from the altoids tin I hid it in
I pull it up to my lips
I flick the ligter and a flame shoots up
I light the end and take a deep breath it
The end glows with red embers
Suddenly everything is quiet
I exhale blowing out the smoke
It's the last gohst of my inncoence that floats away
I take another breath in and am filled with a silent minds

My mind is finally quiter
After years of no stop chatter
All is quiet

A winter never ending,
Dance with me across these frozen fields under the starlit night,
In a land with no sun to rise, this dream will remain for eternity,
The crystal clear snow, fluffy almost playful is carried by a breeze,
Each shadow has a silver lining, each minute is beautifully shining,
When everything is asleep, it seems the envirorment is at ease,
Peaceful and quiet with no noise but the wind and the falling snow,
Yet the beauty of this world is being ignored, is it too cold to go out ?
There is no reason to be afraid of the dark, would you like to sleep with me tonight ? After all, I am your demon your other side,
This perfect world you projected within your imagination,
Can I burn it all to its remains ?
This is a wonderland where nightmares are crawling into despair,
There is no beginning to this kingdom of ice, nor is there an end,
You look tired as if it was hell, come to me and I will bring you to your utopia, all you have to do is to stop this madness.
That angered gaze of yours, why is it making me excited ?
Your steps are wiped away by the blowing, merciless wind,
These tired eyes of yours are too exausted to stay open,
For now let's say hello, my dear,
Have a good sleep.

~ Umi

He and I were Cat and Mouse,
drawn together in a deadly embrace

It could be proven deadly to only one of us
in the end

We switched roles, he and I.
I could be a chasing Cat, he a fleeting Mouse
or,
I could be a weak Mouse, he a dangerous Cat

Being the Cat - that was power,
but it went to our heads

Being the Mouse - that was vulnerability,
we both gave in.

Eventually,
we both became the Cat,
chasing to no avail.

We, then,
both became the Mouse, and
we both fell.

Exausted from running

From a cat that wasn't even there.