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Somewhere in this life I will find the escape of my search , I shall open every door, look out every window, travel anywhere my escape may be.  
Then suddenly I am confused as a strange thought crosses   my mind as I sit all alone in my untidy  box I call a home ,
What is it I'm escaping from? Is it the mirror of an old woman always staring at me, she is like the rose I use to see but her color has faded as her skin is  wilting like the petals of a once beautiful flower now turning to dust .  
The sadness of reality now striking like the thorns on the rose a stinging pulsing pain as I realize there is no escape as I fade off to sleep I may wake another day, everything I see will be seen just the same until the day the rose petals fall to the ground as does the old lady pass away.
©kimmied1105
Two sure things in life we know beyond a shadow of a doubt and that is we will live and we will die ..
Thirteen long years spent under his thumb. Sixteen years old is when this begun.
I thought I was in love , now I know I should have left after the first shove.
I stayed instead, chalking it up as one too many drinks,. Time went on only getting worse, as I got pregnant with his child.  The control he had over me was more than mild. It was a push and a shove pulling my hair but worse than that was the emotional abuse he just didn't care.
The longer I stayed the worse it got , now there was another life I had to protect.
My story goes on for around 10 more years , another baby  with him and many hidden tears .
Please don't judge others by what you may see because behind those closed doors is a scarred and scorn woman that wants to be free .
Free from the abuse she gets everyday the threats of him taking her life away . The fear of what would happen to her children if he snapped and did what he said, The fear she feels laying beside  a monster in her bed, the fear that her children will grow up to believe that abuse is ok because that's all they see ,
So this is a sickness a disease, to treat any human so inhumane,
I don't look for pitty but hope someone out there reads this and it changes their life.  You see , I am not a Victom but I am a true Survivor of Domestic Violence you may not be as lucky as me if you stay I promise you you don't have to do anything else just get away .  
© kimmied 1105
13 years of emotional and physical abuse I was lucky to make it out alive. If you are going through any of this please know you will survive but he will never change .
I remember when you were four
I caught you drawing on the wall
I couldn't get mad
Instead I just laughed
And I still have
The finger print painting
that you made
In fact I had it framed
I have every art piece you made
To remind me that your always here
with me spiritually

All These tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's
Holding you in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

We were at the hospital
I was sitting beside your bed
And you wiped the tears
Underneath my eyes
Then I heard you say
Daddy please don't cry
I like it better when you smile
So I smiled
Don't say no goodnights or goodbyes
Yeah princess your my little fighter
My inspiration, my perfection
My saviour, my hope, my strength
Your everything I am
I'll carry that with me forever

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's
Holding you in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

I still remember
when I heard the doctor say
(There's no heart rate)
That line still haunts me
Your mother and I fell to the floor
Neither of us wanted to get back up
It felt like we cried for hours
And then I felt
something give me strength
Then I remembered what you said
Daddy please don't cry
I like it better when you smile
So I pulled myself back up
from the floor
Took your mother in my arms
Carried her back to the car
You were every step
You were every breath

All These tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

I still remember when
I heard the priest say
May she rest with angels
watching over her
May they share there
infinite love on high
May they protect
her blessed soul
Let the Lord take her
Into his loving arms
To keep her safe from harm
I said Amen to that princess
And I've seen you in the stars
Yeah you'll never be to far
For we are always
With in each other's hearts

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

Sometimes I sit in your empty room
Imagine you playing, drawing
Creating all those games
You used to play
With your vivid imagination
A world of your creation
It's like your still here
I can feel your essence
I can feel your presence
In this place
It's where I go to relive your memory
That you left for me

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

©2018 Written By Benji James
This is a fictional piece of work that I wrote back in 2015 I wanted people to experience and feel through a heart-wrenching piece of writing and this is what I came up with and the journey that I chose to take people on.
इतना सा फर्क है !
जीवन के मझधार में ,
सोच के ताना बना में,
धरा प्रवाह बहते  विचारों में ,
उधेड़ बुन है इतनी, विचलित है मेरा मन |


तुम्हारे ख्यालों में तुम्हारे एहसास में,
दूर बैठी मैं निहार्थी हूँ आसमान को,
नीला निराकार  आकाश का नीला रंग,
गहरा है मेरे विचारों की तरह,
ख्यालों के अंत में खो जाती हूँ नींद  के आगोश में |


तुम्हारे साथ ही सोती हूँ उठती हूँ तुम्हारे साथ,
तुम नहीं होते पास मेरे,

बस  इतना सा फर्क है |

आँख खुलते ही तुम्हारा मासूम मुस्कुराता चेहरा तो होता है,
पर उसे स्पर्श करने पर छूने का एहसास नहीं हो पाता,

बस इतना सा फर्क है |


आंसू तो बहते हैं आँखों से,
सर भी तुम्हारे सीने पर,होने का एहसास तो है,
पर मेरे सर को सहलाते तुम्हारे हाथो का,
स्पर्श महसूस नहीं होता,
बस इतना सा फर्क है |

तुम हो कर भी नहीं हो,
बस इतना सा फर्क है |


मेरे खोये चेहरे पर हंसी लाने की तुम्हारी चेष्ठा तो है ,
पर उस हंसी को तुम्हारी नज़रें देख न पाएंगी,

बस इतना सा फर्क है |

इतना सा फर्क है ....


Sparkle in Wisdom
2009
Will publish English version too... Later tomorrow..

This one was written in 2009,
About a journey of a mother of a quadriplegic child, a baby born and termed as vegetable by doctors... Given to her with words for development.. like "time will tell"

The baby who has a eyesight of power -9/10... Unsure of what he sees..

The baby who can touch his mother but not the 'touch' she long s for... His is just brushing of skin...

The baby who laughs on his own... Sure laughs with him too.. but alas he cannot see her smile.. nor can he make her smile..
!!
You are everywhere I go

And everything I do

You're in my dreams

Of course, that's a given

And as I am painting

I find you within every brushstroke

Thin lines of memories

In every color and every hue

Drenching the canvas in

Deep saturations

I can never wipe away with

The cloth of time



And when completed

Whatever it is that I have painted

They form an everlasting

Yet ever changing image of you



As the scent of linseed

Catches me in a deeper reverie

I was brought to Paris

Brought to a world with you that

May never exist and will never exist

Yet feels so real and hopeful



I see days of innocent bliss

Within the highlight of the forms

And my deepest sorrow in the shadows

Of When I have lost you completely

To my wearisome persistence



Still as the paint dried

All my words, all of my love

Will have been cemented into

A masterpiece of you



And it will not be the end of it

The end of my affections

And manifestation of it

For from dust to dust

I will keep on

Preserving and protecting

My undying, and ever more

Wiser love for

You



For

You are my color,

The oil that binds every pigment

The canvas onto which

I can express all my emotions

Hopes and dreams

You are the brush that

Paints my soul so perfectly

The varnish that makes it complete

The frame that puts it altogether

The nail I will never leave

And in the twinges that seem to

Spread out and bind my heart

Whenever I think of you

You are every thread woven into

My every breath of life
I wanted to scream
To ease the pain
I wanted to cry
To let it out
I hate to admit it
But I wanted to die
I want this to stop
To stop being sad
To stop being stuck
To stop becoming I avoid to be
What do I know
I know nothing
I am known by no one
except One
 Jun 2018 sarthak vadalkar
JP
The invention of mirror
are the cause of
movement of our beauty
from subconscious to
conscious..
I dressed  you daughter in smock cloth
It sewn with mother’s loving touch
A blue check white embroidered dots
And buttons, sashed will fasten back.
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