I kept chasing
you, as if
you were
a distant dream.
But dreams
are not always
dreams.
Sometimes, we have
nightmares too.

⁢'s for my mother, because she taught me to cook and fix a car tire

she cleaned the house and sat with a beer in front of a Sunday football game

she cried and stood by stony faced

she was both and she was everything

it's not a broken home if there are pieces missing from the beginning and it's not a sad, father-less world if you've got a mother strong enough to raise her daughter right alone

'"Why girls who have close relationships with their father, make better wives"
"Why girls with 'daddy issues' are too complicated"
Enough I say, just because my father didn't decide to be in my life,        
Doesn't mean I am less of a person or would make a bad wife
My absent father does not affect the way I love
If anything it's taught me, to hold my head high and stand up

If you label me with 'daddy issues' I could only feel pride,
For every shattered disappointment I felt and for every tear I cried
For the days spent wishing and the night spent alone,
I realized I did not need a man, to build my backbone

Funny how absence can work in my favor
I am now stronger than ever, my own gleaming savior
So for boys who can't handle these women so strong
Stop trying to label us problematic and make us seem 'wrong'

I waited each night,
by the window
in the moonlight,
for you to come home,
and tuck me in tight.
I waited, and waited,
putting up quite a fight,
because I refused
to believe my daddy
would leave me in fright.
Mommy would come in,
and kiss me goodnight.
She would tell me,
my daddy loves me,
but he's not
coming home tonight.
I waited, and waited,
until a quarter
past midnight.
That's when I realized,
mommy was right.

You left before I arrived
So I lay awake at night
Missing a man
I've never met

I found darkness in you.
The familiarity of abandonment
Of pain.
I clung to it.
I clung to you as if you had all my answers
As if you could clinch my thirst of attention
Lack there of, rather

It was toxic
It would **** me
But I wanted more


You remind me of my father

"daddy issues"

is that what they call it?
because I call it strength.

I have the strength,
to live life without my father.
here I am.
living.
yes,
I may get broken down sometimes,
but I've never fallen completely.
and I won't.
because i'm more than the father who left.
I have strength.

-l.j.t.