i want to know somebody

know every detail of their life events
i want to blow the candles on their first birthday
lick the stamp on the first letter they sent

i want to share and be shared intimately

from my brown skin into my core
i want to wrap around his member and see his eyes ask mine for more

i want to nearly bleed to death

over how much I’m able to give
over how much I might withstand if it meant my love would live

because i think people are meant to be shared with one another, tied in an infinitesimal amount of ways; tumbling as one.

I’m sorry to all the people
I hurt while I was hurting.
I know my skin
felt like shards of glass,
and no one could get close
enough to touch me.
My fingernails were caked with blood,
and I am so sorry
that I don’t know whose it was.
I am sorry to those I broke
with my razor words,
they were my own regrets.
They were used to cut open
my own insecurities
when I thought I had run out.
I was lost
in a forest of my own doubt,
the trees were too dense
to believe
in myself.
The only way to find my place
was with a paper cut trail
leading to my home of denial.
My brain was shreds of late reports
and missed deadlines,
and I was just an inkblot of a person,
all I could see was my own skeleton in the pages.
I do not know how to send this apology
without it soaked in my tears,
but I am sorry,
I
am
so
s o r r y

i'm gay.
no. i can't be.
i must be staright.
ok fine not straight.
but there's still no way i'm gay.
that ****'s just not okay.
maybe I can call myself bi
and suddenly it all seems right
i did though honestly really try.
but no, definitely not straight
which should be okay.
i shouldn't be scared to go to my parents and say.
mum, dad.
i'm bi.
i shouldn't be judged by the public eye.
for my decision not to date a guy.
the word love isn't up for debate.
regardless of who i choose to date.
love is always the same.
love is love.
it's the butterfly feeling you get in the pit of your stomach each time you see them.
it's the fear in your heart that they might not always be yours.
it's the hope you have for the future.
the smile you see on their face.
love is just that. love.
i've finally accepted myself for who i am.
why can't you do the same ?

A girl is standing on a ledge.
A stale breath of air on the back of her neck
Urges her to step forward.
She turns, but no one is there
But the sky.

A girl is sitting in the bathroom,
All but ripping and shredding her flesh to bits.
A chuckle from the drain
As water and red gurgles,
Gurgles away.

A girl is laying in bed,
The creaks and moaning whines from the house
Echo loudly in her ears.
“What would happen,” it asks, “if you broke through the glass
And leapt out the window?”

A girl is followed,
Footsteps in time with her own,
Chased and haunted by every feeling, sound, and thought.
It seems the spirits have her too,
Because she still continues to smile.