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I was new to the school
I had no friends
Fear wrenching my gut
And so I smiled

I met some people
They turned me away
Bullied behind the back
And so I smiled

Finally I made true friends
And got asked out
But of course it never did last
And so I smiled

Then the friendship all went wrong
Promises broken, loved ones lost
Blood was shed, turning hands red
And so I smiled

Horror, black clothing
So much more
Crying and dying all inside
And so I smiled

A grandfather left
Passed away
No longer shall we play
And so I smiled

Glaring eyes crossed
Hatred shown in the hall
Between friends turned enemies
And so I smiled

True friends turned sisters
Moved away
Leaving me alone
And so I smiled

Fear wrenched me again
As I tried to mend
Broken friendships from childhood
And so I smiled

Now I have met some girls
Not true friends but close
A boy I like is more than friends
And so I smiled

But a smile no longer means happiness
Now it's simply a brave face.
So how do I reveal to the world
That I am somewhat happy?
I did not know
Back then
What you wanted
I watched as you
Had your mind twisted
By the things you saw
On a computer screen
Things you wanted
Me to see too
Me to do to you
But I couldn't
But I let you
Keep watching that screen
And I know
I should have stopped you
But I couldn't
I watched as you
Fell further
Deeper in the darkest
Parts of your mind
I wasn't strong enough
I could've stopped it
But I couldn't
For fear of losing
Another friend
For fear of making
Everything worse
I will always
Blame myself
For the state
You're in now
And the state
You put me in
Because I could've stopped it
But I couldn't
Risk the one constant
That kept me
From going mad
From hating myself
From hurting myself
From killing myself
But I was wrong
You were the constant
That made me
Go mad
Hate myself
Hurt myself
And try to **** myself
And yet
You are still my friend
Because I blame myself
And I have to protect you
Because I'd never
Forgive myself
If you killed yourself
And I didn't try to stop you

You
Killed
My
Childhood
But
I
Forgive
You
And
Blame
Me
To a friend who will never see this
Don't you agree that human beings are truly disgusting creatures?
 Nov 2014 Robin Marie
Beaux
Hey you're more than pretty. You're gorgeous. You're eyes sparkle brighter than any star. Your smile beats the moon. Your hair is so much fun to play with. Remember not to starve, purge, cut, tear, stab, poke, burn, scratch. There's no need too. I don't need to see your face to know your beautiful. I don't care what the mirror says. You deserve to know the ugly truth. You will always be beautiful and there's nothing you can say or do to change that.
For every girl, guy, and everyone in between. You deserve to feel beautiful. 'I kissed the scars on her skin and I still think your beautiful. I don't think I could ever lose my best friend.
Today I'm going to stop
This ridiculous destructive thing
I've been doing it to myself
For five. miserable. years.
I talk so much about
How I hate to be controlled
but this is controlling me
I'm wasting my life
and this is my fresh start
I don't want to paint over
the same old canvas
I've already painted black
I've gone down this road before
and I could have been a killer
I don't want to be her anymore
The girl no one could help
and just watched her waste away before them
I'm no longer going to count the numbers
and measure and weigh
and cry and hate
I'M DONE
it can't control me anymore
she told me she was worried about me
now I know it's too far
what do I care anyway about all this?
It won't be very easy
but I'm not going to do this to myself anymore
I'm taking this canvas and BURNING IT
I'm starting fresh
I'm done with this
I'm finished
I need to be strong enough
for her
I won't become a statistic
under the earth in a wooden box
with only a block of cement
to prove I ever existed
because pretty doesn't have a size
and for her
I'm going to stop
Five years
is long enough
I always thought I had thick skin
But then You touched my body
And I realized how much I wanted
To melt into Your hands
And live within the grooves
Of Your fingerprints
So I could be a part of anything
Beautiful or disastrous
That You felt
 Nov 2014 Robin Marie
Erenn
Stampede of fragments barraged
Through flames of remorse
Constantly denying truth
The pain in my heart dying for blood
Blood of courage with eminent power
Streaming through the veins
Pumping ardor beats of fervor
"I want to be myself again"

With trembling heart I approach
in search of that which you so ardently seek
knowing somehow that this remorse
of the stampede of fragments barraged
of which you so fervently speak
will only lead you to more intense pain--
but if you will allow me to,
I will help you find your true inner self again...

I have sinned, slaughtered the innocent
Their minds are no longer theirs
I created monsters eating monsters
Hatred augmented to decree misery
It's too late to change
So many lives I've hurt
Don't waste your time on me

But you have to know this from my own heart:
though you've done so much wrong
it's
never too late** to make a new start--
throw out your miserable, uncaring, heartless ways
and look to me to help you
to find fulfilment in living better days
by turning from the evil that clutches your soul
Hand in hand, we can do this together
Let me give, teach, share with you what I have come to know...
Even if you made the most unforgivable sin in the world. It's really never too late to change. There will always be someone out there. Someone who cares.
(I'm so happy to able to work with the amazing Pamela Rae:) Thank you so much Pam. I'm honoured that i'm the first person u collaborated with.)
Check out her page guys. Her writes are brilliant and uplifting;)
http://hellopoetry.com/pamela-rae/
Who we were
Is not who we are
And who we are now
Is not who we have to be
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