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Rachel Dyer Jan 2017
I fell in love today.
With a man I'd never met.
He had a power over me, what can I say?
Oh, he's a hero, don't you fret.
He is tall, and witty, and debonaire.
He saved me from the bandits with his flashing swordplay.
All the while the sun glinting on his hair.
Then he took me back to his castle on page 109.
When he crowned me there was so much applause the walls shook!
I cannot wait to see what happens on the next line,
because my lover and I are one on the pages of this book.
One of the many realities I have escaped to in my time.
Reading, a pleasant distraction that cultivates ones mind.
It is so deliciously good, pleasure at its prime.
The characters I've met have taught me how to love and hate, how to be cruel and to be kind.
I have won battles, and lost friends.
I have made love with Vikings, and danced with mermaids.
And it almost always makes me weep when a book ends.
Then it's back to the bookstore on one of my story raids.
I can't wait to slip between the pages.
The ink to my mind like silk to my skin.
There I will meet heroines, criminals, and sages.
Between each set of covers a new life will begin.
Flip the pages and inhale the drug.
the fine biblichor that sends my head spinning.
A fine way at the end of the day to unplug.
A new book, the best way to get me grinning.
Rachel Dyer Jan 2017
I tried to run away to a far away land,
where the grass was greener,
and the responsibilities leaner.
I ran from the ghosts,
I ran to foggy coasts.
I ran from the memories.
I ran from our mistakes.
I wanted a new me, whatever it takes.
But life, as she often does, had a different plan in mind.
Now I have to say I'm a little less blind.
I have discovered my god,
no not the one you're thinking of.
I found "it" in the history here.
I connected to souls I now hold dear.
I found solace in the here-after in the stones of cathedrals.
I found hope in stone glass windows.
I found peace in battlefields.
I also found pain.
It poured down like rain.
It took my breath away,
trying my best to keep the night at bay.
I no longer fear the ghosts back there.
I fear being stuck in the metaphorical here.
I've now been unwanted,
seen a love be haunted.
I've finally stood up for myself.
Even if they think I have totally fallen off the shelf.
I have embraced my flaws,
finding the power in their claws.
I have gained respect for those waiting for me.
I have learned a new definition of free.
I learned it isn't in the lack of responsibility
but in my magnificent ability.
I find freedom in the doing,
in the dream I'm pursuing.
Here I am.
Tired of fighting.
Tired of running.
Flying home.
Rachel Dyer Jan 2017
Now I know
Now I know this place isn't home.
Now I know the home is in the history.
Now I know my heart belongs where the buffalo roam.
Now I know my mind isn't such a mystery.
Now I know

Now I see
Now I see myself clearly.
Now I see my future laid out.
Now I see my worth.
Now I see the correct route.
Now I see

Now I feel
Now I feel free
Now I feel the tug of happiness
Now I feel the call of love.
Now I feel

Now I know
Now I know where I belong
Now I know it was okay to try.
Now I know its okay to be wrong.
Now I know
Rachel Dyer Jan 2017
He loved the way she smelled,
and that she sprayed her perfume right before bed,
so that he could smell it as he drifted off.

He loved the way she gave him her sardonic playful scoff,
when he did something silly, because although she hated it,
she loved it so much she couldn't contain it.

He loved when she walked through history her fires were lit.
Because her passion always intrigued him,
it made perfect sense within her soul, making her eyes bright.

He loved the way she held him tight,
when she was scared, or happy, or hiding from the light.
Because she was so strong yet sometimes her heart she would bare.

He loved the way she ran her fingers through her hair,
and wiggled her waist when she was pleased.
She didn't even know she did it, she was just so at ease.

He loved the way she squeaked when she let out a sneeze,
such a fragile noise for a spirit that was so tough.
Such a contradiction his little, soiled dove.

He could not have been more in love,
with all of these things she does,
no matter what kind of ordeals....

Or at least...that is what she hopes he feels....
Rachel Dyer Jan 2017
It is a strange feeling...
to not belong.
Like all your layers are peeling.
Like every decision you make is wrong.

I miss everyone who has ever loved me.
I miss that feeling of my soul being warm.
I am just about as far away as I could be.
All my plans are lacking form.

I am a shapeless human,
without a mission, without a plan.
My soul has cracked just enough to let the gloom in.
Wanting to be strong, not knowing if I can.

My biggest fear was always weakness,
but it seems now that is all I am.
My newest personality characteristic is meekness.
But maybe I'm not supposed to give a ****...

Maybe that's what I was supposed to learn.
That not all our dreams fly.
Sometimes our efforts just burn.
That you can do whatever you want, is a lie.

That it is ok to let go.
It is fine to be weak, to lose.
That I can rise once more from this low.
That I will sing gospel after the blues.
Rachel Dyer Dec 2016
It wasn’t fast or loud
It didn’t happen with a bang, or a crack, or a crowd.

It was more like sleeping.
A slow slip a lovely creeping.

It wasn’t a fall or a trip
It was an aching rip

I just looked at you
And I knew

But I wasn't surprised
It had been there all along I realized

But it had just opened its eyes
Beautiful brown ones full of love and void of lies.

That is how my love for you came,
Slowly and without shame.
Rachel Dyer Dec 2016
I keep waiting to feel something,
Sadness, grief, destruction?
Anger rises up and ebbs like the tide
Did this Queen lose her King?
Or just get off of a roller coaster ride?

It was hot and it was bright.
But it ran fast and then died.
And I know I was right.
Maybe that's why I haven't cried...

Because my small still voice whispered in the nights.
When his breathing settled low.
That it would be hard to keep this one and my rights.
And when the other shoe dropped I thought gloom would grow.

But all I felt was sadness...
sadness for him and all the losses he would feel
Because his anger is remorseless.
Because his tenderness is masking righteousness.
Discovering more darkness the further back you peel.

I almost loved him
That much I know is true.
But when you are punished for wrongs not committed the future grows dim.
So our fiery love hisses out and the embers go blue.
All because you could only think about you.
Surprise! :(
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