It is painful to look at myself in the mirror at this time. Late.
All I see is tears in my eyes, refusing to come out.
My eyes are shining, All I feel is numbness.
I hate reality. I'd smoke cigarettes and drink my coffee black, bitter. I'd take pills to sleep and escape everything.
My scars, I helped grow.. By my own hand.
I'm sitting alone wondering what would it feel like? Having a real life. Being full of life, what is happiness?

God, I'm a sinner. I have no intention in washing my sins.

I'll just drown in books, again. I became so dark and I realized something..
you could feel everything and nothing at the same time. You see things, you understand things. But you pretend you don't.
Because It is so much better than believing it.

And I know everything.
But darling, this heartache is driving me crazy
Come and heal this ache of mine.

After all, this universe is not for us,  Isn't?
Aren't we just aliens with no purpose at all?
Aliens that humans don't even believe we exist.
No purpose at all, no future, It's scary.
And life....
What is life my dear? Is It real? Is everything real?
To me It is just a lie.

We don't deserve to live with sadness and accepts it.
It's okay, It's very okay.
In another life, perhaps?