climb to the top of the mountain with me

into the fog that surrounds what we see

we'll become rain and fall from the sky

and come back as us every time

the flesh underneath both of our skin

will harbor the journeys we travelled within 

let's draw on our bodies a world of our own

one in which we have turned every stone

I came to see the casket
An open heavy thing
And what I saw inside was
Decomposition's hymn

A song without a spirit
That never should have died
Remember when you killed it
Remember how you cried

The reoccurring nightmare
That shook you from your sleep
Had made its way outside of
The consciousness you'd keep

The ceremony's over
And now I must confess
My person is the coffin
The coffin is my chest

a touch of some humility may put you in your place
reveal the inconsistencies you thought you could erase
the kind of metamorphosis that colors on your skin
and turns it into something rather gossamer to spin

there  cannot be another you and nothing can compare
you're free to weave a web of what you want, as you so dare
the only thing that will affect the qualities you keep
is what you store inside your head from everything you see

the doors you close and open up are actually your eyes
the things you see make up the tree that either lives or dies
but this is taking far too long, perhaps I've said too much
yet isn't that the very thing that begs the human *touch

I know what you meant when you said what you said
“she’s doing what’s Godly by breaking her bread”
but I’d rather eat all the crumbs on the floor
than feed my own body the things I abhor  

like inactive waters and fish that can’t swim
and people who lie about who they have been
I’d rather let Science and Numbers guide me
and put all my faith in the things I can’t see

things ever-evolving, that teach me and prove
I change as a person when I search for Truth
I know what you meant when you said you would help —
your plate is so full , I’ll take mine somewhere else

I started to ponder the person I was
and went to seek Life to stop seeking out blood
I turned to my mother, who gave me her shoes
so I could walk freely with her in The Truth

we stepped into soil of different kinds  
and learned to be humbled by moments in Time
I turned to my mother, who gave me her hand
so I could be strengthened again and again

I started to move like The Grace in her heart
and put away fear as I fell in her arms    
I turned to my mother and she turned to me
so I could say, “Momma, your Faith led me here.”

the air put your head in my own
said youll never leave me alone
but when will it scare you to stay
you walk, you cannot walk away
i need you to learn how to breathe
undo what youve done to the breeze
the weight will be carried by few
but shared until nothing is true
is that what you want to desire
to make of yourself but a liar
ive heard all the thoughts you dont speak
theyre all too familiar to me
you dont have to hide in my head
it mustve been something i said

if we had our own vein in the place that we share
I think I'd give you my all
Although I'm uncertain of so many things
you are the grace in my fall
Not in the way that the people connote
Time an illusion to them
Deeper than indigo purple can go
I am the shade in your realm
Stop the mechanical hands that I hold
Tell me the cold is a dream
Tell me the taste would be bitter and stale
Skin cannot claim you and me

I've always found my person whole in everything you do
the way you carry others s'though they are a part of you
Distractions have no place around the eyes with which you see
as hard as they may try they'll never practice what you preach
So sing to me forever, all the holy in your heart
I'll hear you in tomorrow's song, "we'll never be apart"

Lately when I wander I step on shards of glass
I don't know where they came from or how long this will last
I take them out in pieces and place them in a jar
A puzzle to be figured out once I'm up to par


Meanwhile in my pocket rests a blackened frame
A trinket with a handle that's making me feel sane
I grip it with my fingers and hold it in my palm
And give these eyes a cover with my own salty balm


A gift I once received so I could go explore
It took away my fear to walk through any door
By it I saw clearly, my vision was repaired
Until I dropped it on the ground and thus became impaired

...

He tells me to walk backwards and trust my every step
My memory will guide me as long as I will let
Now I don't mind the piercings from the shards I pass
My grandpa mapped his life with this magnifying glass

I've taken to the wind that moves what I may never see
And yet I feel it close enough to shift inside of me
It's there one day and gone the next but never for too long
Exhaling truth and bringing us to right where we belong
I never would have thought to put my life into its hands
But nothing else can even touch on what its strength commands
I'm done with all the chasing and escaping when I can
No longer will i fight the kind of human that I am
I've given all I am to you, the breath of all the world
So take me where I need to go like I'm your little girl

So what is the extent to which you killed yourself today
That minor slight incision - did it carry you away
  And if it’s not the pain that makes your body like a drug
Then what is it that causes you to seek that kind of love
You thought it would be easy to detain what you could see
But something else has happened & your mind is not at ease
  I know you want the answers but they never seem to come
At least that’s what you think with all your patience going numb
And now the only remedy you seek is gone before
your limbs can ever feel it, ’til you’re lying on the floor
  Remember you were someone ‘fore you gave up on yourself
The kind of hope you carry’ll never leave you in your Hell

I
slept
inside
your
head
last
night -

and

you

knew

Yesterday the world fell off my head and I caved under the weightlessness of my own body

With skin disrobed, I laid out the contents of my skeleton man, base to my eternity 

The two within were once one, now traveling separately down the same road coming undone, gradually

Both heaving and tired, a destination was finally reached - found, inhabited, exhausted - naturally

Consistency in tradeoffs paid in full, bought with soul's heavy gestures - they turned my water

into fog so beautifully

when people travel far and wide
Enough to make their way inside
a world that tries too hard to be
The definition of complete

I cannot help but find escape
In something not so far away
It's not above and not below
A place beside Abednego
The heat will burn but reassure
you came to be and always were
A passerby of life and death
And lungs that breathe the purest breath
There's nothing here for you and I
Except the time to say goodbye
And when the words prepare themselves
you'll need to look to no one else
your heart will be your head and soul
Derail the thought of human cold
The cover gone, the flesh undone
Recovery to Babylon

I will never be prepared enough for you to go away
you’re the Poet in my bloodstream who would never let me stray
you put Words into my fingertips and helped me write them down
you saw tears inside my eyelids when I couldn’t let them out

I will never be prepared enough for you to let me go
I’m a poet’s daughter’s child who forever seeks your sow
for you taught me how to battle every single doubt I have
to put every Word that’s Scripture through the process of the pass

We used to put obedience above our sorry selves
And live inside a creature made of love's redeeming cells
But something came upon us, likeness something like our own
that told us we could separate and sit atop a thrown
Where once I was a woman who was searching for a man
there now exist two people who are turning into sand
And should I be the glass that you created and destroyed
I've since become the ruin that you struggle to avoid
My heart can open wider, be together like it was
a mender and a giver and a product of the dust
So what it is tonight that tries to shift my weaker parts
will disappear in stillness that remains inside my heart

the balms and palms and all of what you ever were to me
are only visible to those who thought they couldn't see
I want to tuck my life away in someone else's hands
but cannot bring myself to trust that yours could ever stand
the weighted breath, the solid sea of saltiness we lack
I left because I didn't know if you were coming back
and here I sit, a question mark made perfect in my pain
I want to ask if I can stay but I just feel insane
it takes no time to feel you here beside my lonely soul
I wish you well and myself too, I'll wait to let you go

a love of mine sang words to me and played them to a sound
a bassline I had never heard, found hard to figure out
he let his fingers freely touch the strings to chords I knew
but dust inside his fingertips kept tracking so much, too

the sound became a muffled thing, a whisper gone awry
and in a tone we couldn’t fight, we had to say goodbye
we put our hands together then we set our bodies free
and now a love who once had been no longer sings to me