You've put me in your doll house.
Plastic furniture
cardboard walls
Surround me. Smother me.
There are other dolls here, too.
waiting.
like me.
To be picked.
I see your hand come towards me
Finally. You pick me.
Your rough fingers curl around my waist
lifting me to what seems like an endless sky
My hair bouncing in the wind
my eyes looking at you
always looking at you.
We do what we always do.
Sit out by the water
you making jokes, me singing songs.
You caress my cheek
You kiss me.
You never kiss me..
Maybe this means something.
Maybe I wont have to go back
I see him stand
oh no
he folds up the blanket we've been laying on
please don't make me go back
I feel his rough fingers curl around my waist
let me stay
I couldn't look at him
the whole way back.
What did I do?
Was I a bad kisser?
Did he regret picking me this time?
He places me back into the doll house.
I look into his eyes, pleading, begging
for him to give me answers.
Instead
He curls his rough fingers around the waist
of the doll next to me.
Lifts her up, and kisses her cheek.
He's never done that with me.
I watch as they both disappear into the distance.
Every time I see him leave with a different doll,
I can feel my skin harden
my skin becoming shinier
He's transforming me into something I'm not
Plastic.
Maybe thats what he wants. Plastic dolls.
Dolls waiting for his attention.
Dolls at his disposal.
I don't want that.
I want to be free.
But, I want him to love me.
All I can do now, is wait.
Wait for him to pick me again.
To play with me again.
That one guy you want so badly but you know he's playing you. He even does it right infront of you. Flirting with other people. But you cant help but hope he will eventually choose you. Want you.