10 years of friendship.
4 were drowned and forgotten.
Found our way back
To shore in 2014.

Without much introduction,
We clicked and fit eachother like two pieces in a puzzle.
We both went through laughter and tears together.
Sad to know that these are the last tears that I will share with you.

You've always thought I was an idiot,
You weren't any different either.
But we contradict so much and it was never an issue for us.

Playful punches on my stomach,
I laugh off the pain as if it didn't hurt me as much as I thought.
I've insulted you so many times,
It's amazing you're still here.
But remember that behind every insult,
I always compliment you inside.

How great you are,
How incredible you are,
How strong you are,
How beautiful you are too.
I never agreed when you say you are ugly,
eventhough I said I agree, I don't.
You're beautiful, You've always been beautiful.

I find joy in making you smile,
I do it as much as I can because I'll never know when's the last time I'll live another day to see your stupid face.

I'm sorry that I have to leave like this,
It was never in my plan to just go.
You can be mad at me all you want,
No one can disturb you behind these white walls.

You can hit me all you want too,
I promise I won't feel the pain.
You can curse at me as much as your heart desires.
I'm deeply sorry for this.

I can't be there on your birthday and tell you how much work I've put in decorating Your birthday place.
Or how much my present for you costs.
I can't be there to complain of how late you are to our meetups.
Or tell you how stupid you look in that dress.

I can't be there on your wedding day to watch you walk down the aisle heading towards that lucky guy you finally found.
He might be shawn.
I can't be there to see that.
I can't be there to cry for you because I'd be so happy.

I can't crack jokes to you anymore or make puns that don't make sense.
I can't see your confused face when you don't understand me.
I can't be there to hear you say that you hate me..

So if you still see me breathing for my life someday,
Before they pull the plug.
I'd like to hear your last "I hate you"
Because I know that you actually mean
"I love you"

I built walls with wire
Wrapped tightly around my heart
The wounds hadn't quite yet turned to scars
And I was determined
To not let anyone else
Tear the almost closed wounds apart
I was so afraid
Because everyone else proved to all be the same
But then you came along
Waited patiently for the wire to unwind
So you could climb my towering walls

"I see a universe within your eyes"
You said to me
"I need to see more"

I didn't understand you
Because I saw demons, not daisies
In the garden of my soul
And when I watched you realize that
You took every minute to show me
All that you saw
And tonight
As you sit amongst my thoughts
I'm seeing daisies

And  those who have yet to find their happily ever after,
Are just going through the tough chapters of their tale.

Sailor,
You asked me what a promise means to me..
Maybe it means that I have seen and heard people break a lot of promises
and maybe this time
I do not expect that to happen..
And
That I've had enough of ******* in life
And maybe its time everything bad came to an end
And maybe
Its time I got something good out of life
And maybe that good is the result
Of having you in my life
And
I might not be mature enough
Or old enough
To maybe understand the meaning of
maintaining a relationship long enough
And I might be too young
To know
I love you so,
And u love me.
And too young
That everyone might think
My heart might flutter around a bit,
But what everyone does not know
Is that my heart has made a home,
And as it always is
You always feel,
Peace when u come back home..
And the distress my soul would feel
Without peace
Would be immeasurable
So I made a promise to myself to always be peaceful,
AND that would only
BE possible if i came back home..
YOU are my home sailor..
Forever longing,
Your Mermaid..