If she only knew. Good lord if she only freaking knew.

She said that I was a major league player and she was just getting on the bench of recovery. She said she wouldn't catch up to the success that I am at but she doesn't know. How could she? She never listened when I spoke.

Our conversations were nothing more than her waiting for me to take a breath so she could say her bit.

I am not broken anymore she would say with happiness. As though she was the one to fix me.

I admit I am no longer shattered on the floor but that tribute goes to God. I don't live for anyone else because I want this to be the only hell I ever know.

What she doesn't seem to understand is glass never fits together exactly as it should and my rough edges still cut, still scar, still harm others and myself.

If she only knew.

I am not as beautiful
As my ice cold heart,
Which glimmers each time
We experience pain.
But I will not waver
Because they say I belong in a fortress
To hide this outer shell
And this soul that crawls within me.

I would dream of endless nightmares
In which I obtain the beauty like
My callous heart
But then I would realize I would
Loose those who are special.
And don't care if I am a goddess
Or human.

There was never a night
That I slept without thinking of you
Wishing your were right here with me -
It is the warmth you offer
That I always yearn for.

Now that you are finally here
No words can express
How happy I am
Wrapped in your warm presence -
A true good night rest.