I wish I could write something beautiful,
But the only words I can manage
Are ‘drowning’ and ‘suffocating’,
And we all know there’s no beauty in death.

My body is a fresh canvas just waiting to be filled,
But I have filled it in the wrong way --
Ruining it with cuts, scratches, and burns;
Nothing beautiful or something to be shown off.

In my drawer is a piece of paper,
But I have never written on it.
I am waiting for the day my courage is high,
And I finally need it to write my suicide note.

The life I live isn’t a bad one,
But my past still haunts me.
No amount of faith will diminish the feelings --
The sadness, guilt, anger.

I’ve lived on a roller coaster ride,
But everything comes to an end.
This one will crash and burn
And never be heard of again.

This poem isn’t meant to be beautiful,
But it is supposed to make you think.
Tonight might be the night
I remove the blank paper from the drawer.

I wish I was Stronger.
Handsome.
Attractive.

Instead of this whiney
Hopeless
*******.

Hey Jolly Man
How are you?
Too much to drink
and hangover too.

Naughty list I see
I am very contrite
Not a good year
my life sort of bites

Coal again
in the stocking by the fire
Sitting alone
nothing to desire

The world is a mess
peace to all men
You failed me this year
Not one lasting pen

Holiday cheer
where did it go
I sought to repent
and go with the flow

But these times are hard
for every last soul
I looked to the sky
No St. Nick, see me crawl

Bury my head in the pillow
another Christmas Eve.
Nothing has changed
the world I must leave

Goodbye St. Nick
I want to believe
I sit here in lonely
Tears do not leave

If life was easy everyone would be doing it.
It happens at everyone's expense;
without recompense.
We all try to coexist with our backs against the fence.
Because we're incapable of trust;
but perfectly capable of lust.
Greed; gluttony, sins of the American company,
hoping for a righteous man to accompany
this wrath and pride,
enveloping society in the high tide
of human nature.

But maybe; just maybe,
there's nowhere safer.
I can sit and smile, talk with a friend
and build a bond that not even time can bend.
Because our innate ability to love unconditionally;
is what I have chosen to defend.

Pull my strings
my puppet master
Lift my feet
and walk faster

Set the stage
make the scene
Raise the curtain
going to please

Music plays
Hit the spot
White light flash
Devious plot

Applause is heard
Silence beckons
Disbelief
All is reckoned

Made you smile
or made you cry
Drop my strings
The puppet died