Morose skies dripped with agony
As dawn beckoned closer.
I peered through the rim of the earth
And found utter nothingness.
Not a sound peeped, not a soul weeped
As I fell into the oblivion
Of the earths shallow shores.
Eyes cannot see what this world truly holds
Discomforted hearts longing
And weary eyes falling,
I cannot see through the surface
As my skin is crawling.
Skies shatter and life is amidst,
Entities full of bitterness.
My heart mourns for the emptiness,
But I cannot see the color of the earth.

I have not looked at myself
In a matter of weeks
Comfort filled drops placed
Between the grit of my teeth
Corrosion of the mind followed
By a shattered heart
I lost myself
In a matter of weeks

My eyes have not met hers
In a matter of weeks
Closed eyed conversing
Leading to deceit
Clotted thoughts crushing
Into the surface of my pate
I lost the woman of my memories
In a matter of weeks

My lips have not muttered
In a matter of weeks
Words of clarity or
Something to defeat
Strung out souls waiting for
A transport never to come
I lost my love
In a matter of weeks

I remember a time when light did not fade
before my eyes in flashes
of never ending time.
I remember a time when days were
as colorful as nights
and lies were not lies.
I remember a time when my eyes
saw the surface rather than
everything but that.
I remember these times but now
they are merely rhymes that
have disintegrated into nothing.
I remember the constellation of
thoughts marked on blue-  
lined paper, inscribed
to tell of every whim
and want.  
I remember the bitterness of
my frame and it’s
inabilities,
and it's defiance
overtaking sense.
I remember when dusk
marked night rather than
restless eyes and
i did not have to try to
come back again,
i just came back.
I remember a time when
my name was not merely the sum
of numbers and papers
and unworthy accomplishments
compared to moral worth.
I remember when passion filled
every bone of my being and
i didn’t have this
morose, lingering
abundant mass of thoughts
i do not care to hear

I heard it in my youth, and I've heard it once again.
You banish it away, it always comes back again.
Pain, they say, will always make you stronger.
Then when it hurts, why can't I live any longer?

Pain is not supposed to strengthen your soul.
Only your mind it strengthens "and" it leaves a hole,
And that hole is filled with poison to dull the pain,
And that poison will weaken you, like acid rain.

Apparently what you don't know won't hurt you.
That's right. It only hurts everybody else... "true".
People who eventually hurt you another way.
You'll tell them, "Go away, come again another day."

"It doesn't **** you." "Only cats have nine lives."
Because I'm aware of the multiverse, these knives,
Called dysfunctional lovers, friendships, and family,
Have killed me a thousand times; I live candidly.

I live honestly, because the pain of seeding a lie,
Can grow a thorny bush, upon seeing it you cry,
When you're pricked by the destruction of all,
Your chaos, wondering why you don't get a call.

Pain is good for lessons, that's why it's all around,
It's not that you're getting strong, only wiser.
Pain brings you to your knees, makes you touch ground,
For the power, you are weaker, only wiser.

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
Life would be delight,—
But things couldn’t go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn’t be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I’d be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn’t be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,—
Yet they’d all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn’t be we.

Combatted weaknesses persist as
Weary souls claim to be forever bright,
Yet the omnipresent setting sun
Claims a forthcoming night.
The inescapable cycle of the sky
From color unto ingenious fright,
Prove that with the sun's endless rays
There does not always come light.