You noticed before you knew
But nobody told you what to say
What your eyes saw in them
Is not what you see today

But you made your choice
And wanted them your way
Now the end seems near
Why do you want them to stay?

All those years
Who was right
Who was wrong
Both of you forgot
It was so complicated
Now you have to decide
Can you be what it is that you’re not

You can’t stop a river
Unless you build a dam
But their words still ring true
“The currents will is who I am”

Did you ever know a time to be free?
You built a life but the hurt still lasts
We regret our mistakes and try not to look back
But life doesn’t grow in ways that buries the past

All those years
Who was right
Who was wrong
Both of you forgot
It was so complicated
Now you have to decide
Can you be what it is that you’re not

When a voice carries like that
I wonder if you can hear what I hear
I want to know everything about him
And why he says what sounds so clear

I don't think of him as a lover would
Only as an idea I can take along
When I walk this way it takes time
Starting over doesn't have to be wrong

Look into my eyes for once
Don't be embarrassed to see
Clear your mind my love
I only want good things for you
Even if it's not me

Let's gather those notes together
He can't play for us whenever we ask
It's up to us to remember what he said
And take with us the things that will last

They say walk a mile in another man’s shoes
But why must you be asked to go so far?
Isn’t it enough that he lives and breathes
To know that one day he will bear your scar?
It may seem that life gave him free reign
He hurts others and expects to be forgiven
But you have not witnessed his punishment
It is not God’s plan to reveal when he will be driven
Into the desert of scorched lament and sorrow
The clock will strike when God makes the decision
The test is not only in bearing your own pain
But also in our discomfort with God’s random precision
The one you hate suffers more than you will ever know
Because his conscience burns deep into his heart
And when he faces you in his unrepentant guise
You must ask did God give you the power to make the sea part?
Did God hand you the hammer and the nails?
Did God hand you the judgmental stone?
Did God ask you to be the tool for retribution?
Or is today the day for you to atone?
To lower your gaze and be the truth
The truth of humility and an open heart
Not to be hurt once again as before
But to show that God is the one who makes the sea part
And as you walk in fear towards an image beyond crashing walls
The pain you bore is trampled under your feet
The worthiness of the forgiver has been written for a thousand years
And on this day you will begin the journey your tormenter could never complete

I’m not in despair for who I  am
What my eyes see
Are the worlds that you are chasing
I found myself but I can’t be too free
The children that look to me
Make me realize that being a man
Is being myself but also loving them

I can find a moment in every day
When I’m the crazy enough for  my tastes
I can’t make the world a bigger place
But I can know more about it
You know being lost is still an adventure
What you learn is how to cope
You just to have the strength to try again

I haven’t fallen from grace
Because I never opened the gift
Maybe I climbed the wrong mountain
But I see the light I once set adrift
My mistakes were only slightly ajar
But still my door is open
I know I can tell you anything
Being a friend is loving what’s broken

Is there anybody who gets me
They never will if you live to discover
You can’t worry about an opinion
If it’s meant to make them feel better
If someone trusts you
They will let you bleed openly
Because they know where you’ve been

I haven’t eaten my daily bread
Because I didn’t know I was hungry
Maybe I walked on water
In a dream I thought was reality
I didn’t mean to hurt you
It’s hard to live knowing what I said
It may be too late for us
I guess only God can raise the dead

Only my spirit knows how long
It is not a question of time
For the time around the sun is not how we love
It is not time that measures sadness
It is only that it is
How can something like this feeling need a body?
I only know how it shakes when you are not around
Chilled by the air
It cannot change the season
Parched by the sun
It cannot make it rain
Hurt by pain
It cannot make it stop
No, it cannot
It can only live with the things it cannot control
But wherever I may wander it follows
Or does it lead?
How can I know if I cannot hold it in my hands
Can you tell me my friend now that you're gone?

In the tower, as a prisoner surrounded
by  walls of flesh and blood; to etch upon
the walls, my innocence and guilt; how
my mind was mistreated by all who had
mistreated their own; what was I to expect
from a life that offers nothing except pain
at birth, life then death; what principles
are offered except riddles by those who
do not care to hear the warnings of
freedoms scattered before them like the
blackened eyes of serpents whose bodies
continue to writhe though separated from
their own minds by the sharpened axes
of each generation that will see the truth
only in ways that make them feel whole

The holiest time of captivity, when our old
wounds gather together; when we know
we are all of these, we begin to speak  
calmly of them, proud of what we know
of our strength in the faith that the sun  
will shine upon us no matter the clouds  
that have gathered, defusing the dewy
stars to make shadows warning those
who laugh at the bravery of peace and  
the truth no matter who may speak it;
for darkness is always reserved for fools
who can only see today as if the sunrise
is afraid to be the one who forgives first,
while we, in the sight of a cross for  life
and a stone for death make the choice
to live for the harmony of love as we
were taught; to share the whole of our
existence with those who once made
us think of hate

Dying’s not the problem
There's nothing for me to solve
It’s in the living
Where we need to evolve

We crawled together
Caterpillars on leaves
We found each other
And shared our dreams

We knew our place in life
And dared for more
We had a sense
Of what was in store

Would it be life after death
Or some kind of revelation?
Like grandparents alone on a porch
We yearned for transformation

How can you believe in what you cannot imagine?
Faith is so hard in a world so unrevealing
We see our limitations and wish for something more
So we separate our fate into a coffin of our own making

Is she thinking of me while I suffer?
Is she sad and lonely too?
Something though is happening to me
There is something that I must do
I cannot share a moment so private and personal
And yet this is about what two people can be
As revealed truth emerges will she be waiting?
Will a memory allow my life to be free ?

It is time to fly now
The past is over

Who will fly with me?
Who will be my mate?

I am bathed in a gentle kiss
From a shadow that knows
Of the past and of a dream
As together we choose our rose
For God has answered our prayers
The crawlers have risen
We have shed our fears
And into our souls our love has been woven

I wanted to treat you special that night
You could hear it in the sound of my voice
How could I know if you were the one for me
I took a chance because your eyes left me no choice

The solemn moon is always up there
It doesn’t know what it is you’re trying to say
But you know what it means to you
Even on days the sun can’t burn the clouds away

I wanted her to know the real me
One night is not worth an unhappy life together
She wondered if I would always be this way
I said I once tried but I cannot predict the weather

There was a time when meaning had no meaning
I didn’t know how to be sad for no particular reason
Now it seems a mood is the easiest part of our day
Because we decided there must be a point to bleeding

I thought about love being a dream with no name
The faces are only the things that I want to feel
The way you looked at me shared your own dreams
The face that you saw was the first one that was real

The nights we spend wondering about tomorrow
Are for children listening for hoofs on the roof
I can no longer wait for clue that only years can reveal
Because love has to be decided without any proof

I no longer wish to embrace change, only wisdom; just as I no longer wish to embrace something new, only truth.

What is it you are trying to prove?
I’m not sure you even know
Who are you, really?
Maybe you should start there
Before my mind begins to take control

Are you so susceptible
To another person’s weaknesses?
We don’t even know each other
And already you have lost
There is nothing behind your aliases

Where is your disgust?
Why have you not summoned the necessary levels of disdain?

To find yourself
You must first **** me
**** everything about me
Empty the cup
Break the cup
And walk away

Can you not cleanse your mind?
Can you not build the anger necessary to walk alone?

Anger not
To hurt
Anger not
To hate

Change from within must come from without
Without influence
Without fear
Without hesitation
Without need
Without a past

Change for you must come from you
Who you are
What you are

No matter the reflection of your past
And the echo of familiar voices
Walk alone
Until the day you turn around
And see your inspiration in those making the same choices

Even if we think we don't know
Something guides us from within
And no matter how far we go
We'd do it all over again
The voice is the only one we have
We follow whatever the course
We adapt even if we hurt ourselves
Because we know the alternative is worse

Hey Christian state why do we perpetuate the hate?
We use tools of death to blow out the light of another man's breath
What about what we heard about people being murdered
From the one you represent with a celebration of Advent?
How can we follow him yet **** on the whim
Of powerful men who tell us what to do
It is clear that your peacemaker came to world to be a changer
Of the hearts of evil men to warn them of their sin
Yet we **** and **** never thinking of his will
That you pray be done in the name of the one
That you claim to worship while refusing the courtship
Of those who want peace bringing to earth a new lease
On life by allowing love to flourish instead we are seen to brandish
Other wordly weapons of destruction contributing to man's dysfunction
In his relationship with a higher power that has so clearly tried to shower
A message of love and peace yet our militaristic actions never cease
We want to go to heaven but our actions serve to unleaven
Our rise to a higher level of being blinded by lies the truth we are not seeing
I don't blame your patriotic thought you don't know what corruption has wrought
Over the years in a quest for power we want our enemies to cower
In the face of our national interest which conflicts with reality's firmest
Wish for mankind to come together and shed our fears of one another
Do you think God is only on our side someone is taking us for a ride
This supposed God is there for all even the man you desire to fall
I know it is confusing but there is no excusing
That the horror of it all is suppressed as we believe our cause is blessed
But the word was for all men, re-read the book you defend
It is clear what was meant don't try to circumvent
The Sermon on the Mount, Jesus brings the world to account
For actions that harms others so don't **** them, they are your brothers
You don't even have to believe in him or any other legend
To know the message is true yet so many speak but cannot do
It's time for a new day where our needs are not in the way
Of others who also want love from your supposed Lord above
If you believe he knows everything we do then it is not too late to start anew
Regardless of belief we must work with each other and not force them to run for cover
From bombs raining down from a nation wearing a crown
Of belief in the almighty causing Christianity to be unsightly
To others who wonder about us and how we can ignore Jesus
And his message of love and peace it is time for hostilities to cease

I thought all of life existed in a smoky room
Confident men raising spotless claret glasses
Matches firing their dreams and memories
Until the last cigar reminds how time passes
And now where life has taken us
Is the refuge of sidewalks groaning under the masses
We long for those days of fearless bravado
While we wonder if meaning is buried under the ashes

A dream lives forever like angels
Until you decide which one to steal
The thoughts that dance as we sleep
Are the only one's that are real
Quiet slumbers forget past difficulties
And remind of what was always meant
But distance is circumstance frustrated
Unable to touch the dream that was sent

I made a mistake and read the news today
Another pale man with a soul-less tie got away
With hurting people and polluting his way
To a golden parachute while he tries to cut our pay

Am I supposed to be happy about this turn of events?
A man sits in a tower and manipulates dollars and cents
People really aren’t anything to him but malcontents
I just shook my head and added to my list of discontents

So what’s the story?
Why does wrong get the glory?
Why is salvation illusory?
Why do good men live in poverty?
Why do the rich write our history?
Why do the meek remain thirsty?
Why do the quenched **** our country?
Why is God's love such a mystery?
What’s the story?
What’s the story?

They say I’m just jealous
Always sitting around and drinking with the fellas
Not knowing what to do, expecting someone to tell us
Believing the rich steal our life from us

But that ain’t it my good friend
You see life ain’t all about accumulatin’
And to choose to live humbly is worth glorifin’
So try to understand because I ain’t apologizin'

So what’s the story?
Why does wrong get the glory?
Why is salvation illusory?
Why do good men live in poverty?
Why do the rich write our history?
Why do the meek remain thirsty?
Why do the quenched **** our country?
Why is God such a phony?
What’s the story?
What’s the story?

When is the human race ever going to learn
You can’t keep taking and never waiting your turn
There’s no virtue in selfishness and what you earn
You know who said it but it’s her books time to burn

I’m going to say these things and put myself out there
I don’t care if you think I’m a loser whose going nowhere
‘Cause if I don’t say something then whose gonna care?
You can laugh but it's time for some class warfare

So what’s the story?
Why does wrong get the glory?
Why is salvation illusory?
Why do good men live in poverty?
Why do the rich write our history?
Why do the meek remain thirsty?
Why do the quenched **** our country?
Why is God for some men only?
What’s the story?
What’s the story?

I know their type ‘cause I’m not so young anymore
They smile at you but their sincerity is something to ignore
It’s not real because they’re really looking at the floor
Just hoping you go away so they can keep mining the ore

It’s a loser’s lament and I know that’s where it’s at
I may cry but I tell you I’m not impressed with all that
You take your millions and be a fat cat
But I'm not afraid of you because I ain’t no rat


Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserved. Mark Lecuona

Is it to make more of the man
If he rides in the back of a jeep
Not drawing attention to himself
He thinks solely with the wind
And the sounds beneath his feet

He wondered as she walked by
Would a poor woman reject him
She didn’t smile at his gaze
She wanted more than that
He was judged by the street

He wanted to buy her a dress
Any color, with shoes to match
Would she want to wear it
Or would she only remember
She did not own a silk sheet

She smiled only to be polite
She gathered leaves for her drink
She knew how not to grind them
He told her they would be served
But the wheel that rolled was fleet

She wanted someone who knew
Only her name and a cross awaits
He couldn’t believe her calm
She did not care for attention
Their worlds could never meet

She offered to pray for him
She said empathy is not love
She had lived the real all her life
Still she admired the loud bird
Who sat humbly in an old jeep

The inks been dry a long time
The story has already been written
Moving on was a matter of survival
But my heart is about to bleed again

Don’t pretend you love me now
There’s too much I can’t forget
You used to wipe your feet on me
Now my muddy heart is your regret

I need to clean my heart
I need to make it pure again
I don’t want someone new
To think I can’t love a woman
Clean my heart
Clean my heart
Please clean my heart
So there’s no traces left of you

I feel ***** on the inside
Like I can’t let nobody in
It’s how you treated me
I let it get under my skin

We’re going to say goodbye one more time
I’m going to have to think of the past
But then when the day is through
I will make a new memory better than the last

I need to clean my heart
I need to make it pure again
I don’t want someone new
To think I can’t love a woman
Clean my heart
Clean my heart
Please clean my heart
So there’s no traces left of you

You need to forget everything you feel
That’s why you must turn around
You are facing the wrong way
And on the wrong floor
Reading the wrong book

There are no memories that matter
That’s why you must climb the stairs
Leave your emotions behind
Walk now without before
And the years they took

You were born the way you are now
But you needed to see the horizon
It is the edge of the womb
And the reason you want more
Is because your soul finally shook

What is behind your eyes wants out
And what you have is time and reason
You must no longer be afraid
For as you wash ashore
You will know which way to look

the contents of the letter indicated,
at least it raised the question if not the direction;
could a deep breath just after the first kiss
be held long enough to save herself from
all that will follow tomorrow?

he grimaced as he wrote it, he thought too much,
he decided to put it in writing, it was his gift,
the paper she might later throw in his face,
it was the commitment of the moment;
he could promise anything to anyone

she remembered every word when they first met;
that was her advantage; because lust was a toy
and she held the batteries in her hand; but the
light in his heart did not need anything this time;
this time he knew he meant it

the hardest thing was to admit if she was his type;
beauty was everybody’s preference;
but he had to climb the stairs slowly this time,
was she a cave-dweller or a kite; he would know if he
was either by walking the same ground as yesterday

I can’t seem to decide much anymore
I keep looking for a sign
That’s not how I used to live
But gettin’ closer to God takes all my time

I think my boy is gonna’ miss me
I figured out being a man meant being there for him
He has to make his way out into the world
But gettin’ closer to God is going out on a limb

It seems somebody’s always tryin’ to save me
I didn’t know I was in such a mess
I can’t be like everyone else
Jesus said pray in a closet
That’s where I think best

I’m slowing things down, that’s how it is
I don’t need to hurry anymore
That’s not how it was long ago
Gettin’ closer to God means not livin’ like before

Did you think I would never miss you
I think I know now how much I was blessed
It’s not about who loves who the most
I’m just gonna’ say it and let God tell you rest

It seems somebody’s always tryin’ to save me
I didn’t know I was in such a mess
I can’t be like everyone else
Jesus said pray in a closet
That’s where I think best

It’s always worthwhile
Thinking about the one I want
A little of a long memory
A little of a changed woman
Not always new to me
But new to the times I didn’t want

I never did find a four-leaf clover
But I met you enough times
I tried several doors but not all at once
Every time I thought you the same
Then you’d act different
You were a house I couldn’t haunt

You keep thinking I don’t want you
But you have the timing of my bad luck
I crawl through the grass pulling it apart
Finding clovers is the same as counting cards
It’s the same because I have to play or fold
While I stare at the bluff you flaunt

How many conversations can I have
Or should I say how many at the same time
I think I need to be told to *******
That would clear my head enough to think
It’s obvious I can't make up my mind
That’s why I’m sitting alone in a restaurant

maybe it's just holes in my ears
i never did fill them up with gold
maybe it's just the color of my skin
i didn't try to draw it
you have no idea
it's what you tried to say
what i should have said
are you so weak
that a disagreement
makes you want to **** me
that's why i have holes
fill them with your hatred
and it will fall out the other side
try to rub it on my skin
and the ways of my father
will tell you that I am a man

He has a wife
And three children
And he joined the army
But there is no such thing as toy soldiers

He became everything they wanted him to be
A soldier
A warrior
Able to pull the trigger
But today he pulled the wrong one
The one that was for him
And him only

He wasn't following orders
Just his own
A mind is a terrible thing to waste
And his was wasted

It was time to ****
Non-believers
Sixteen people who don't believe
Not in Jesus anyway
Well they do
Sort of
But not like they believe in Mohammed

That's right
He shot them
Now everyone's mad

"Why?
Because everyone is dead!
Just dead!
I killed them!
That's what ******' happens!
Why are you surprised?"

They dropped an atomic bomb once
He got a medal

i could paint you
red and white
still couldn't get it right
but you'd smile anyway
you like those colors
but not if it means you have to stay
that's not being free
somebody's fantasy
they hold you tight
their mind has it all figured out
but you say
not tonight
that's ok
i have it figured out
i love you
and there's nothing more than that
one day
little bit at a time
you'll be in in my flat
can you live like that
you could if you would
that's it isn't it?
if you would

I don't have to remember words
Only the feeling you left behind
I don't have to remember a place
It could have been anywhere
I did not notice the setting sun
Or the reflective mountains
Or the glistening shore
You are the painting
And a frame is of no matter
For the colors of your love
Is why nature bows to you

We're just a lonely crowd, happy to be together when someone sings our sorrows back to us...

It is your decision
How do you want to live?
Clinging to what is wrong for you
To assuage your loneliness?
Or facing your fears
And taking control of your life?
There is always an answer
You are too beautiful to settle
Love and loyalty
A virtue and a curse
You have made no vow to God
You only have a feeling
And one day you will discover your gifts
But how far away will they be?
There is no time to love what cannot learn for itself
It is instead time to love what is worthy of you
If only you believed in you

Launched by strains of Auld Lang Syne
Leaving all that he had known
For love of far greater purpose
Glory! Ambition! The throne!

The code of morality
Death to our enemy
But don’t ask why
Life to our legacy
But don’t ask why

The flags wave highest
That most proudly sends their sons to war
Waving at the end of decency
Or is it the beginning that we fight for

For what is decency
Except to spare the life of the enemy
Yet that is not our charge
It is not to show mercy or remedy
Instead it is to march triumphantly
Never counting the dead
Only the medals pinned to a chest
Only the horrors lining his head

And though exhorted to turn the other cheek
Forgiveness is only a bent knee on a rug
He has received his pardon on this earth
For all that WILL be done before his grave is dug

But not for bats disrupted by gunfire
With shadows forming lattice lace upon rocks for the sacrament
But the sands once shifted by God’s breath
Is now ink made holy by the holder of the parchment

What coward would accept condemnation
Rather than death by enemy sword, sharpened
By the exceptionalism of old men
Whose achievements canonized but burdened
In their own minds
Forgetful as they grow into legend
Excepting of their own courage
In the stories they imagined

Giving white feathers but not for honor
To those who plant flowers in rifles
Flowers loved by Kings and Queens
Who smell them while reading lifeless bibles

Those loved by their mothers
Faceless as they march
The song of glory speaking of freedom
While they pass the closing doors of the arc
Their wives would rather weep tears of pride
Than of tears of shame
But what difference to his soul
Rising for what purpose or game?

To honor his family or his God?

Going down with the ship
Accepting the bullet from the front
Falling not upon his sword but upon that of the savage
For that is how to die like we want
There is no reason that must be validated
Victory or defeat
He gave his life without question
And now his name is on a street

But still, the sun rises again
Callously living without purpose
For no man can touch its soul
No sword can plunder its surface
No words can destroy its pride
No tragedy can darken its rays
No, it is the earth that must rise and set
Living waiting until the end of days

And the coward drew small comfort from this
Knowing nature is an idle spectator
As is a flame at the end of a spear
A fire that only kills and not worth dying for

But a spear in the hand of a subject
Serves only its King
While the flower he picks prepares to die
Dishonorable and in shame
For though they may were once beauty
It is only to mark the graves
And line the path of solemn remembrance
For those who hope that God saves

Could you risk a memory
Without expectation
For tomorrow?
Could you risk a kiss
Without pride
Making demands of love?
Could you risk a morning
With the promise of the sun
Knowing it will set?
Could you risk the passion
Not as another scar
But as your closest friend?

Take off your armor
Life is not to ward off the arrows
But instead your heart must feel the pain
You are no longer at war with yourself
Deciding if you are crying or dying
And if you can hear the air part
Then what I sent has already hit the mark
There is no preaching that can save you
Love is the chance to resurrect your life
Or remind you that you are still living

As the darkness entered her eyes;
they widened instinctively,
as a barren landscape in the migrant rain
or a guilty heart
reading a book about grace
She'd lost the spirit;
oh it was still there,
like the soil after a long drought;
but it wasn't good for plantin' yet
It had been a good life,
up to now;
now she straddled her youth
and what remained of it;
at least what remained of her pretty face
She was still pretty
They told her everyday
It seemed they wanted to move too fast
As if she was desperate
Desperate for a man
But she wasn’t
She was no tombstone waiting for a chisel
He was gonna’ have to his job
She was gonna’ make him do it
Even if she only had a week to live
He had to put in six days to get the seventh
And she’d wait for him;
she'd be resting on the porch,
just like God rested;
waiting to see if anyone deserved all of that

A feeling
Is not about who is best
Art
Is not a contest
To insist on a victor
Is an ego that has broken
Showering hate upon the lives
Of hearts that are open*

What may or may not be poetry
Is instead the heart of our family
You commented rather pointedly
About your superior ability
And eloquent verbosity
Most likely derived from history
Of the friends of Neal Cassidy
And other written eccentricity
Yet you forgot your humanity
And instead introduced a monstrosity
An ego steeped in personal vanity
Insisting on being treated royally
Demanding your subjects bow immediately
As you crashed into the sea of tranquility
Planting your flag of superiority
And crushing our words spoken so plainly
But heartfully
Because the letters are unworthy
To one who is challenged emotionally
Unable to live peacefully
Amongst those who wish to learn gratefully
About a craft you have reserved selfishly
For yourself and those you deem to be equally
As adept as yourself in the vagary
Of references you declare to be wholly
Fresh and newly
Minted by your ability
To walk around the cliché so gracefully
While we repeatedly
Use words such as lovely
Or heavenly
Or tearfully
Or holy
So we beg you openly
To understand what is primary
In a place for the novice to publically
Air their emotions unapologetically
And speak candidly
And unconditionally
About how painfully
It is to live freely
In a place so worldly
Where men think judgmentally
******* the life from those who live meekly
And wish to exist thankfully
Amongst those who understand brotherly
Love and who affectionately
Praise those who tenderly
Open their hearts to humanity
Giving mercy
To those without the gifts you egotistically
Bludgeoned us with so artfully
But failing miserably
To impart insightfully
Your wisdom for those who willingly
Would receive daily
Your transcendently
And insightfully
Spoken songs of serenity
But instead you callously
Reminded us unfortunately
That mere man is weakly
Empowered to exist commonly
And instead arrogantly
Cuts the rose greedily
Leaving the thorns sadistically

You don’t have to love it
You don’t have to hate it
Just know something about it

Don’t be ignorant
Don’t be belligerent
Just be intelligent

You don’t have to buy it
You don’t have to sell it
Just know something about it

Some things have already happened
I’m not the one who can take it back
Some people like to put it one way
Others talk about it like it’s fact

You don’t have to become it
You don’t have to agree with it
Just know something about it

Don’t be judgmental
Don’t be prejudicial
Just be spiritual

You don’t have to make dark of it
You don’t have to make light of it
Just know something about it

There’s more missing than we care to admit
We hear things then hang the phone up slowly
If you are choosing which bridge you must cross
The decision to change your nature is for you only

Bending time
You don’t have to understand
Someone else already figured it out
Ninety years ago
How’d he do it?
It doesn’t matter
But you can do it
If you slow down
Do not live in the future
Each day must not be wasted
Live inside each moment
Do not look over their shoulder
Do not act impatient
Tomorrow will come
For what is haste other than time without feeling

Bending space
It’s something you can understand
If you think about ***** and elastics
Ninety years ago
He did it
But does it matter?
But you can do it
It’s where you walk
It’s what you keep
You effect everyone around you
You push them away
But it is your light that creates space
For in darkness is loneliness
And vision is no longer depth
For what is blindness other than space ignored

Bending love
If you want to understand
The trajectory is effected by the heart
Today
You can do it
And it does matter
It is a gift
But you must draw it near
You cannot wait
You must let them know
It is a risk to let them know
Use your eyes and your smile
In time the space between you will change
Though all you need is within
For what is love other than a heart with a soul

I think I'm too strong for my own good
I don't like thinking I can't be hurt
It's written all over my face
Maybe I'm just waitin' to be
Cut down to size

The forest doesn't care who walks
That's how my life seems to be
I can't decide how to act
Your dress causes too much confusion
It's cuttin' me down to size

That's what I need
I need some kind of desperation
It's too easy not to care
Living that way is a lonely situation

I think I forgot how to blow your mind
There was a time when it was easy
Being young is the thrill of the chase
Now I think I'm above all that
Please, cut me down to size

That's what I need
Some kind of inspiration
It's not easy when you've been there
Living that way is life without a destination

Here is my narrative and it is not about forgiving murders... it is related to the underlying problem.

Sometimes, you can't love your neighbor because it's a very high standard that has been asked of us. For some reason it is so much easier to hate them; to wish that they get what they deserve. But outside love and forgiveness there is another place; acceptance. And to accept someone is not only that they are who they are but that it may be that you will always have an uneasy or superficial relationship with them because your differences are so pronounced. But that is ok. It is ok if you do not hurt them in any way. It is ok if you help them if they need your help. It is ok if you treat them as you might a stranger when holding the door for them as they enter a building. With decency and civility. But escalating the tension is never the answer.

Forgiving someone who hurt you or your family can almost be as much a miracle as walking on water. It is holy forgiveness. And to love your enemy is even more of a miracle because not only are you walking on water, you are possibly raising the dead. And these laws of physics that we all accept to be true are as sure a fact as our belief that we cannot love our enemy or even forgive them. But should we give up on the idea? Is the only alternative to our inability to love our enemy is to **** them?

NO

NEVER

EVER

The only way to love someone is to prioritize the feeling. The only way to forgive them is to understand that forgiveness can mean withdrawing from the battlefield. To soften your opinion of them means that you have decided to understand their point of view. And to understand their point of view is to be honest with yourself. How would you feel? And to love them is to see their entire being and know that the stress in their life may be so much greater than your own, that they are only human and if not for the grace of God there you will go.

Forgiveness like a diet is a process and though things may not ever be as they were they will be better than they are now. If only you will begin. Identify what must be done. See the goal. Take small steps; I don't want to injure someone. More steps; I will withdraw from engagement. More steps; I will establish what is important and why. More steps; I will do what is humanly possible. More steps; I will accept what I must and regain my moral compass. More steps; I will live my life and though I will remember, I will try to smile again; I will not hurt them; I will not take my revenge.

Whatever the problem may be we must dedicate ourselves to the proposition that we owe a dying man the decency of investigating the manner of his death; and if it is his fault then we must accept that truth; and if it wasn't then we must act on that truth without regard to who is at fault. There is no person who is more important than the right to life given to our fellow man.


"Father, father
We don't need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we've got to find a way
To bring some lovin' here today, oh oh oh"

Marvin Gaye

"If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.

Nelson Mandela

"People respond in accordance to how you relate to them. If you approach them on the basis of violence, that's how they'll react. But if you say, 'We want peace, we want stability,' we can then do a lot of things that will contribute towards the progress of our society."

Nelson Mandela

"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend."

Martin Luther King Jr.

"Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars... Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

Martin Luther King Jr.

What could be so powerful yet not seen for
a man to cross the gulf between freedom
for himself but slavery for his people?

What could be such a mystery that a man
would never know why a woman could feel
so empty after her baby is born?

What could be so sad about a man’s passing
that the memory of his life as a part of your
own becomes who you once were?

What could be so dark in the night that the
light that draws a man near to you neither
reflects or absorbs the sun until after it sets?

What could be so deep about lust that a
man would give up his soul for one night
only to destroy the woman he loves?

What could be such a reason to love that
a man can know not by her touch but by
how purpose is unafraid to live once again?

On a tide-less shore
Ignored by a slumbering moon
The religion of the innocent
Howls at vacuous skies for guidance
Upon every braying sound
Stands the super-natural law
Believe in me
Descendant of moral decay
You stand with nature
Perplexed
Unknowing of yourself
Or the doctor declaring you unfit for life
You admire those who send gun-boats
And ignore those who hunger
For you have simplified the means of proof
Or further you require none at all
For as still as cut grass
It is enough that you may walk upon it again
In this way you may unencumber your mind
No obstacle to navigate
No foul smell
Only the fresh air of soft ignorance
Caressing your mind
For believing in very little
Allows you to believe in things great
Things you never witnessed
Not of God
But of this earth
To the detriment of all others
For what you were told
Was that sand is white
And black is night
Because that upon which you walk
And build castles
Is far greater than that which you cannot touch
And this you believed
Though in the heart of every child
Is a lantern
Waiting to be lit by love
To guide them to the gathering place
Where flesh becomes spirit
And white sand becomes brown as the tide rises
Waiting to be consumed by the ocean
To make the salt of the earth
If only you had a match

She knew then
War is hell
On God's green earth
She heard Satan’s bell
The men approached
An officer and a priest
She fell to her knees
Her joy deceased
Her prayers betrayed
All the good lost
Silently hoping
Knowing freedom's cost
The ultimate sacrifice
To give up a son
And now he is gone
How can she live on
To tell a mother
Of her grievous loss
There are no words
Only another cross

As she plummets
Into the abyss
The spirit moves
Delivering a silent kiss
Her life shattered
The garden forgotten
Dinner has become cold
Will her heart ever soften?
Hatred where there was love
Bitterness all she can feel
As their lips moved
Words shock does conceal
She stares into the night
Nails piercing her memories
His face the shattered mirror
Where she found all her worries
Floating in front of the bullet
She wipes his brow
There is nothing in this life
Nothing matters now
She covers his pale body
As the blood of life flows
He shivers touching her hand
She smiles because she knows

The mercenary
Loves his mother
It is her special place
There is no other
Did he call for her?
Did he have time to cry?
Or did death give him leave?
An honorable way to die
His duty to his country
Planted the seeds of pride
Now he is dead
She wondered if soneone lied
Is it time for anger
To walk down hatred’s trail?
She prayed every night
Hoping for a holy veil

"I pray for my son
Oh Lord remember his name
Spare him a short journey
Do not give Satan true aim
Return him to me
The one who bore the pain
I only ask for life
All mothers ask the same"

And now her prayer
Has become profane
What once passed her lips
Will never be spoken again
Can she turn the other cheek
For the unknown ******
Or for his “superior” officer
Who gave the order to the killer
Was he expendable
As a stone over the breach
Did the others to climb
Leaving the dead on the beach?
Did his killer survive?
Or is his mother bitter?
The sons of ambition
Are now only its litter
Glory is no solace
As we struggle with a memory
Life must go on
But not in a cemetary
Did one more death
Win the war?
He was proud to go
Now she wonders what for

She is gone now
Whispering at the end
We were not there
Flowers we did not send
She never saw butterflies
Or heard birds each day
She only thought of her son
Hoping God knew the way

I watch my own son
He smiles with his friends
I wonder about the flag
That covers our sins
It was folded for her
Forever never to wave
Will it sit in a drawer?
Whose life will it save?
Can I offer him for freedom?
As Abraham offered Isaac?
I cry as I feel the shame
Courage is what lack
Did her son die in vain?
Will my son soon follow?
Or will I spit out
The pill others swallow?
How can I comfort
A woman I never knew?
Tell me the answer
What should I do?
I ask you the same
What would you do?
There are no answers
You love your son too
So as we fall silent
I will pray over how she bled
Hoping never to see lips move
Telling me my son is dead

The shoes of a dead man
For you to walk
And his blade
For you to ****
Every page vanished
And every memory
But not the paper upon which it was written
And the dust
Under which it was hidden
Traces of direction
Windblown
A new future
Waiting for ripples to die
To see the reflection
And the form
That must be overcome
In the eyes of others
To determine need
Though not enough
In the eyes of others
To speak
Or live in silence
To write
Or to think
For who would listen
Or learn
From a man wearing a dead man’s shoes?
Because they are not wearing them
Only you
The blasphemy of discarding his past
But saving his presence
Is only for you to know
The willful generation
The one that learns from the past
But lives for the future
While others
Ignore the past
And die before they say amen
But not the man walking in a dead man’s shoes
Inside a book
Inside another book
Choosing the prophecy
That fits his needs
But not the worlds
Because they wouldn’t understand
Even if it was written in their language
Nobody can understand
Except the man walking in a dead man’s shoes
He knows death
And every word is life
So he reads
And prays
And does not bring who he is
Because he is not the book
He is only the man walking in a dead man’s shoes
He cannot hear anything
Or see color
Only the desperation that fills the void
Between men
And their confusion
That he is unafraid
And able to walk between people
Without explanation
Or justification
Because they wouldn’t understand
Nobody can understand
Except the man walking in a dead man’s shoes
So don’t ask
Don’t ask
You do not know how to ask
Or what to do with wisdom
They are just words
Words that amaze you
But cannot change you
Because to you they are words
To him they only describe
An approximation
A sketch
Of smoke
From a fire
That you cannot see
Or feel
Not like him
Because you are not a man wearing a dead man’s shoes
It is much worse than you think
Because you won’t confront it
You are insensitive
Dehumanized
The only ones worth living must believe as you do
Thoughts are life to you
Certain thoughts
Thoughts that may be right or may be wrong
Thoughts that cannot be described by one man the same as another
But thoughts that he will not speak
Because he is walking in a dead man’s shoes
Without the blade
For he does not come to you by the sword
For separation is only by choice
His alone
Without bloodshed
Without the desire of what you have
For he is not a thief
He will live without it
He will never take it
For his interest is not in what you have
But in what he can earn
And what is provided
As it is given by the world
As it is described
In the prophecy
That best fits his needs
Because he is a man walking in a dead man’s shoes

There’s no place to make a sound
If nobody cares about your voice
We all need a way out
But dying is our only choice

So we retreat into death defying acts
It’s all we have as everybody knows
The seeds have no place to go
Because love ends when the rooster crows

The stack of chips follow certain people
But only those who control their fate
Girls look for a skinny circus mirror
And smile at friends they secretly hate

We eat the stale bread of promise
And complain about our lot
Yet the blessings pile up in the corner
Unknown, forsaken and unsought

Hope vanishes in the mist
Its face shrouded in ambivalence
It’s up to you now my God
Will my destiny be your deliverance?

Stochastic perfection
Staccato smoothness
Screaming comfort
Mental duress
Gutter rat beauty
Sensory control
Primal sophistication
Mutating soul
Indecipherable pitch
Blinding vision
Deafening clarity
Reckless precision
Simplistic genius
Street-wise intellect
Monosyllabic truth
Politically incorrect
Emotional apocalypse
Raging articulation
Distorted calm
Dominating freedom
Numbingly sensitive
Inappropriate dignity
Contemplative explosion
Tempestuous tranquility

It has been raised before
The question
Of prosaic content
And depression
The exploration
Of depth
Instead of untold heights
And the breadth
Of what is sanity
And what is madness
Inducing fear
And sadness
In those who care
But who wish to remain
In the happy talk
Which they feign
As the minstrel
On the street
Receives his daily bread
The giver relishing this feat
Yet nothing changes
The song will remain
As does the pain
Which we cannot explain
It is just a face
That adorns
Each corner
Wearing silent thorns
As we hear again
“I never knew you”
And you gasped
But it was true
And I know
This was directed to me
And not you
Because I could see
The face on the corner
Was the sanity
And my mind turning
Was the insanity
Of our condition
But you say, “No more!”
“Stop writing about it”
But what for?
So we can forget?
I cannot
Yet I too am helpless
With words that rot
On a page
That cannot be digested
Or provide nourishment
To the souls we neglected
Yes the question remains
Is it sanity?
Or is it depression?
As I insist on reality
Is happiness a choice
To be accepted or rejected?
Or is it a blessing
And unexpected?
Engaging in searing sadness
Over unending childhood memories
Which I wish to relive
Because my Father would have his faculties
I am overwhelmed
In the past
But today
A new memory will last
Because it was a happy one
And the child I rear
Will someday blink back
A tear
As she wills her mind
As I do today
To go back
Somehow, someway
To a time
Of her childhood
When we were together
Where past and present stood
Yes I want to cry
So I can remember
That what I long for
Is in my child’s December
Her new morning
Became mine of long ago
Her new day
Became what I used to know
She took me back
And I saw the boy
And his father
In her eyes of joy
And I remembered
My sanity
And my depression
Were instead a sign of a divinity
That I cannot explain
But can feel
As her love
Reminds me of what is real

I picked a flower
But not just a flower
A rose
But not to give it to you
But because it was you
I want you now
Make my skin bleed with your nails
Shed your petals
Leave the ground beneath me awash in memories
That fade
Then shock me with your beauty
For it will bloom
No matter the rain
The pain
The sun
That burns into the soil
Into your heart
Where you really live

I walked upon the sand
But not just the sand
The desert
But not to die
But because I want to prove it to you
I want you now
Make my mind bleed by your absence
Let it see visions
Of palm trees and water
Where the crawlers gather
But they are not imagined
They are beneath my feet
Laughing as I begin to crawl with them
They know it is not how I live
I am weak
But I proved it to you
It’s what you wanted
Burning on the inside
Willing to tell you how I feel
Rejected
By a desert rose
Still the distant flute rings clear
I was not put here because of you
Only to suffer by your hand
Even dunes can make shadows
That draw trails down the hillside
To be forgotten until the next desert storm
Or a hurricane
Because sand is sand
It is all the same
The horizon is not you
But the sounds of the tempest from within is you
Because I choked on the sand that I thought was your heart
And it was
Once

Passion is violent but not durable
And once the race has been run
What is left but contemplation
Vast and fertile
Horizons always beckoning
A test of true love
Loyalty and devotion
To a promise that has cooled
As does beauty of the flesh
Yet the fire of life remains
As does inner warmth
The love of the heart aches
And taking its place
Is the love of virtue
Enduring strength of the spirit
Like a lighthouse across the sea
Guiding those who wish to cross
To live within its purpose
Of a life never consumed with the end
But instead with how it is lived
Remembering the days when passion set its sails
And the winds of loving you cast their spell

I don't need a diary
What is between the lines
Is not where I hide things
Behind a locked drawer
Is not where I live
If you think it's about you
Then it is

Where have all the flowers gone?
A nation weeps for you
All we have are words
Promises that were never true

A spoken myth passed on
Change... a far away place
Eyes that seek the soul
See only a blank face

The petals wander alone
Searching for a stem
Unable to join together
Unable to find begin again

The plow destroyed the garden
War, the hand on the till
We, with our faded memories
Take refuge in our daily pill

The vultures glide above us
Silently seeking their prey
We, unknowing, flounder
Grasping at honor as we play

Our hearts confront the horror
Inviting the bullet home
Take us from this place
We cannot grow in stone

Once there was a balance
like the time we smiled at the same time
or kissed like a real couple before parting for the day

Did I promise only caution
when I look into your eyes?

It felt like a storm once
there was no training for our differences
it was such a surprise I wondered if we lost our way

Did I promise to reject
my gifts that are revealed?

It’s all in my hands
to walk away without a fight
to walk with you towards the light we both will find

Did I promise to turn away
from what I may become?

I built a shrine for us
with a star a rosary and a book
it was the only way I could know what to do

Did I promise my life
no matter the pain?

I’m calling you to tell you something
I want to marry you
It’s not how you want to be asked
That’s why I’m not asking you now
I’m telling you the direction of my heart
I heard a song about what to do with you
And now I know
But I need to find myself first
I know the things that are my own
They need to be rearranged
There is no room on the floor
Your footprints cannot be yours
If it is only my life that makes an impression
My shadow garden will be gone
And when I know who I am
I will come to call on you
If you answer the door
You will know who it is that I am
Because I will tell you
And it will be true
If you are no longer there
Then I will know I waited too long

Who’s everyone talking to?
I thought by now true consciousness would transcend the me generation
The zero’s have already passed and we hide our minds behind our darting eyes
Each of us unto ourselves as creativity has been substituted for sampled reality boredom
Plastic sheets of electronic thought arrangement made to order
Recycled hero’s priced beyond the dreams of street urchins
Imagination unplugged as shock is delivered to your carpal tunnel fingers
Glancing at reality to measure the distance between metal before returning to civilizations ruins

Did you hear a word I said?
I told you that I love you
I told you about a problem that I had
But the scroll widened to the edges of attention deficit view

It's just as well that you didn't know what happened while you drank yourself into oblivion
Your addictions were planned in past decades by people who now buy islands
They laugh at how they made robots out of beating hearts
And you continue to let another ten years pass because the gun was taken from their hands
I wish my face to be in your hands
To see the excitement in your eyes as flesh and nerves are rediscovered
Maybe you can call me and I will answer as our fears are sheltered by a touch screen
And if our feet happen to collide we will see how the human touch is not to be wired