I don’t care if I lose
Even if it never ends
The feeling remains
Though I blame myself

If I was driven to you
It had to happen then
I watched you walk by
I thought I was involved

The wrong side of a shadow
The wrong side of your heartless eyes
I don’t know why the sun doesn’t blind you
You blocked me from love

I’m strong enough for life
But I’m not getting away with it
I try not to notice the falling rain
By crying only in the shower

The wrong side of a shadow
The wrong side of what you see
I don’t know why the past doesn’t blind you
It only tries to do it to me

They said read between the lines
I’ve known you so long the lines are gone
Somebody asked me to walk straight
I can’t seem to do it anymore
So I decided to write my own
Maybe I’ve written too many things about you

I was hoping we could move past all of this
I don’t need a mystery to love you
Maybe you can’t forget what you think you are
A woman who hides behind her face
But I’ve seen what is behind your eyes
And I believe in that more than you do

I have to let it all out of me
I wanted you to know everything
Even though you’re not here
I know you believe in all of it, every word
So I’m going to say it, even if white walls
cannot feel the colors that only I knew

In your drifting heart
Loneliness and sadness paddle together
You no longer hear
What you were once told
Can you accept a goodbye before a hello?

And yet
You were lonely
With a companion
But hope was for him only
Can you accept an ending before a beginning?

You were trapped
Within the limits
Of his love
And his habits
Can you accept fate before living?

But now you are free
And yet
There is something
You will not forget
Can you accept pain before you are healed?

Instead
Like a shadow
That lives at night
You allow it to follow
Can you accept heartache before love?

Blocking the light
That flickers in the distance
The light of your true self
Free of all resistance
Can you accept rejection before acceptance?

If you are alone
You are in my thoughts
If you are sad
You are in my heart
If you are hurt
You have my tears
And if you are blessed
Then say a prayer for me
For I too have suffered these things
And if you do pray for me
Then I would have you in my life
And because of that
I will not be alone
I will not be sad
I will not be hurt
I will be blessed
As will you

Being lonely is a place I go
Quiet solitude to cleanse my soul
Needing an empty mind free of worry
The canvas for another story
Beginning my life anew
Shackled by my chosen hue
Images float through the air
Dancing together as I stare
Something unknown to me
Arrives as I struggle to see
Is it my life, a friend who tires?
Or my true self, an enemy that conspires?
My existence longing for inner peace
How long before it will cease?
Living on an island the calling siren
Dreaming about the human condition
Nothing gained for commerce
Everything lost to traverse
The valley of my own mind
Asking God that I find
The scent of life's secrets
Flowering in layered bouquets
Blossoming as I walk alone
Covering me, the stubborn stone

I want to fill your heart up again
Tell you I would give anything for you
How you are more than I deserve
I want to tell you because its true

Don’t be impressed by anything
Except by how much I love you
You don’t have to ask me about it
It’s just something you know is true

If you can just let it happen now
No swearing or pledges to you
Just wake up knowing I’m there
The feeling between us is true

Put your hair down now my love
The only thing in life I want is you
There is nothing left but your skin
And what you are is why I am true

I think we're all holy
It's just we don't believe it
Some of us act like it
But it's just talkin' instead of prayin'
Well I believe it now
And that's what I come to say
I'm no better'n you
And when you bury me
Don't be sad about my closed eyes
Being mad won't matter anymore
But I can live with it
It's just I want you to know
I'm acceptin' of my time
And I'll pray for yours
If you'll pray for mine

To write in such a way
That you hear music
Without sound
See my breath
Without frost in the air
Feel my heartbeat
From afar
Is not as difficult
As to make you believe
That words as intentions
Are the same as actions
To come
But I will continue
Until you know what I say is true
And that what I am building
Is a bridge between caution and longing
From the songs that I hear
And the breath that I see
And the heartbeat that I feel
From you

You let someone unworthy of your love make you feel
unworthy of any love. Yet you are making someone else
feel the same way because you won’t give them
a chance. But that person never seems to count.

You gave everything you had believing
in something. But then it was taken away
and given back and taken away again.
You thought it was the moon didn’t you?

It’s no wonder you are sad but you
believed what you heard. You didn’t wait
to see if it was real. You lived the dream and
still you don’t know how to wake up.

It’s a funny thing to be approached by someone
while you live your life and give them all the power.
A tree doesn’t stop making shade or shedding leaves
just because a new bird makes its home there.

Every field is plowed more than once so why
relive the past when each season is a new
memory if you’ll only be who you are. The heart
of the soil made for all of life is still yours to keep.

I saw him the first time walking the other way
He was a lightly singed darkish-skinned man with a tight face
A rope of a body without hint of it being a weary day
And I wondered if what I saw was true
He looked so out of place
He wore an Indian headdress and not much else
It couldn’t have been any more perfect
Him walking East and me driving West
I knew it would be different later when the sun set
I want to ask him if I was describing someone he knew
But maybe I’m better off wondering

The rituals of the past must be adorned each day
He walks holy ground upon the concrete of our disgrace
There is no haste or urgency for him to change his way
And I wondered if what I saw was true
He looked so out of place
He wore the look of a riverbed starving for ice that melts
His face was matted by tears tired of regret
But his feet never knew the meaning of rest
No matter how high in the hot red sky the sun would get
I want to ask him if I was describing someone he knew
But maybe I’m better off wondering

The animated mystery
Inside every sunset and crescent moon
An optimistic journey
While the shadowed silhouette
Covers an empty spoon

In the cradle’s motion
Destiny is determined for the chosen few
And to what devotion
Or earthly friend
Can the poor turn to?

Living below the surface
Of human consciousness and material worth
With no political office
To end hopelessness
On this mean earth

Nothing but misery
And alienation covers their injured minds
Caring is a political primary
With insincere oration
Leading the blind

No law of value
Can nurture a child or free it’s mother
No white statue
Of truth defiled
Will care for another

Groomed for a process
Ruthlessness assumes advantage gained
It is through applied duress
And forced subordination
That wealth be obtained

Scorned at birth
Exploited and discarded under a cross
Venturing forth
With faith to depend
On an ancient promise

With grace upon them
And love showers as never before
The masses of poverty
Of whom you never knew
Are free of your violent war

The sun faded soon after you arrived
It made your crystal ship sad
But the sometimes not so gentle rain
Is the reason only you can trim your sail

You forgot you always need more
Your arrival anywhere is only a moment
You thought voices meant sure madness
But still you prefer to look beyond the pale

By your own means
You're not so average
You're not so mean
So what could it be
What is it that you mean?

Sometimes the plugs are over-loaded
And the lights leave without a goodbye
But you know that a true friend is loyal
And would rather a feather than a nail

You wish you had a group of rockers behind you
But the way we live sometimes is without power
Trying to get a reaction is not physical enough
A heart without its own beat is a body inside a jail

By your own means
You're not so average
You're not so mean
So what could it be
What is it that you mean?

beyond your heart
where you are no longer yourself
where everything you’ve felt
no longer has a memory

beyond your past
where you are someone new
where everything you did
no longer matters

beyond your future
where you will not have to dream
where every worry
no longer lives

beyond your fears
where you have become so strong
where thoughts of loving me
no longer make you afraid

How many tears have been eaten
Sweet tears
The sugar of her toils
How many memories have been discarded
Bitter memories
Of a time she lived without love
How many beautiful eyes have been closed
Taking with us their souls
Because we could not leave our own behind
How many times have I cried alone
She knew how to say no
But not when I begged her to

Man cannot live by bread alone
Yet souls were sold for food
To be enslaved by those who chanted
“God is great, God is good”
Shackled together
With the Devil as their bride
In his view they lived
In his laughter they died
The vortex of inhumanity
****** them to their grave
The ship pitched forward without remorse
With no wake except an uncaring wave

There is no sound at the bottom of the ocean
The moon pulls the tide high with prejudice
The flowers wash ashore far from away from hope
The barnacles feed at the tomb of injustice

Where hands are extended to one another
To touch stone that once was flesh
The holiest of the holies rise again
In memory of a voyage that we pray was blessed
What suffering must a man endure
That he cannot rest behind a white picket fence?
Instead with nothing to live or die for
We wonder of God’s will acting at man’s expense
We will never forget our past whether right or wrong
And we will plunge the depths to discover what is true
No monument at sea will ever forgive our trespasses
And no shame will wither away in the ocean blue

I’m your neighbor I’ll do you a favor
But I can’t solve all your problems
Leaving town is hard but I started the car
At least summer’s turning to autumn

I don’t mind clouds or music too loud
As long as it’s my stereo playing
It’s the same with my children’s minds
I just need to know they aren’t worrying

I like to complain
I’m good at it
I got the world figured out
But they never listen
Some people aren’t so smart
Even though they think they are
Telling me what they know
Helps them smile in the rain

I have a piano and a bank account
But I wish I could play the guitar
I know a few chords but not enough
It’s easier to carry around in my car

I’m heading some way out of here
But I noticed the sofa seems the same
I left for a while but never did open the door
There’s a way out but it’s not the way I came

I like to smile
I’m good at it
Even if the world won’t
What else can you do
People like to drink
I wish they’d drink with me
There was someone once
But only for a little while

Leaving doesn’t always mean goodbye
The corner booth in Pecos isn’t how I say hello
Being that kind of lonely is not for me
I’ll stay right here and pretend it’s the place to be

I like to smile and complain
I’m good at it
Catch me when the water’s running
That’s the best time
You might think I only like blue skies
But that’s not how life is
That’s why I like clouds
I like things that come back again

If he should ask of my willingness
What would I say that Peter had not already heard?
For my sword is not what will save mankind
If I should hunger because of my weakness
Would I steal from my neighbor to feed my children
When twelve baskets fed the blind?
If my fears become stronger than forgiveness
Would I listen to a man who commands me to ****
And hammer nails into the cross left behind?
If he should ask me to be his witness
Would I testify of the sins waged by other men
Or the ones that that my own life would remind?

If the wind does not breach the walls of your home;
and if the rain does not collect upon your floor;
and if your children do not cry for food or toys;
and if fear for life does not burn upon your mind;
and if begging for hope is not your only refuge;
then you are blessed

The bright side of the moon
With a dilated awakening heart
Still it could not gaze upon us
And for a moment
The dark side was all we could see

I knew it was time for us
A high noon love affair
Under celestial shadows
I could only think of you
Stay the night by daylight my love

What happens now
A reflection whispers its life away
Watching the windy rip tide out to sea
Where only disapproving eyes are blinded
When will we meet again?

I could change your life
But only knowing that I approved
That was enough for once
It had to be
For the next life is all that remains

While the moon bears our blood, we
think about someone we just met but
only until the moment the trade winds
blow the dust aside

An empty saxophone fills with air, playing
sadly until the moon stops to listen

He had to leave early to care for his life
He told her he needed time to fall in love
He thought about the way she smiled
He wanted to believe in her instincts
Was it her imagination that became impatient
Or the way he wiped her brow with her scarf?

It doesn’t take long to know, ships that
pass always remember; looking through
a silk scarf feels the same way, the airy
fabric enjoys trading the dust thread for
grain

Lonely circling bleeding making people
fear for their faith; allure matchmaker,
lovers together, feeling the tides within
crashing upon their desires

It was the time to be bold
Her eyes said so

But scarfs can fool a man and dust can
fool a sparrow; how would he know the
difference when it was his imagination
that must decide between moons passing
through shadows and misty eyed longing
that for a moment begged him to stop
sailing by

… and though it became void and formless
I knew that it was good
for the same as my conscience lives
so to as the light upon our bodies would
if only we could accept it into our lives

… as I looked upon silence where there was sound
I knew that it was good
for the same as I had witnessed a moment before
so too the shadow upon the moons face should
revealing how my soul bleeds as my body in the night

The cloud has moved on
I once honored the rain in my life
No matter how inconvenient
But I blew it all away
Like a candle before bed time
Take a look at me now
I once thought of myself as you saw me
It's not a way of life anymore
I can't wait to not care
But that is a lie
My intentions are better served as mistakes
It's just that my expectation of you hurts
Especially when you don't notice at all

The travails of our skies
Helplessly waiting each day
Blue seas pierced by the sinking sun
A nebula that finally arrived
With the words of a lonely man
From long ago
It was the only way we could know
For nothing written
Can fill our eyes
And what is truth
If not the silent witness
Of God's canvas
Our daily bread
And a thousand bursting suns
Lambs blood upon our door frame
Brooding as it draws near
Waiting not to torment our souls
But instead to be loved

It is your own blood that seeks itself and that of those
to whom you've shown your heart; and there is no greater
bond than what grows from the same vine and that what
is cultivated by sharing the burden of removing the stones
that create walls between men

Whatever you are
You meet something else
Part of you is the border
The other part is a long stretch of difference
Will you let them cross
They have to walk on your soul
But the other side you also know
The collision is what knocks down the fence
Nothing stops the wind
Or the birds flying south
If you let it happen that way
A stone becomes a river bed of conscience

Do you know which mirror to break?
Is it the one that hangs there with beauty smiling back at you?
Or the one doing all the talking?

How can you tell which one is safe
When both of them know what it is that it you will pretend to be true
And what it is that they both will be mocking

Being so hard to reach
Don't waste my time
That's me and you
But does your heart want
All the love I feel for you

I want you to feel the same
That desperation in your touch
I want to feel it from you
But your hand won't reach across
The love between me and you

It's the only thing worth living for
You told me that in a dream
I was laying next to you
I could feel your warm breath from
The love my heart put inside of you

So many things you don't want
Missing a lover missing his kiss
Missing him say I love you
But a life like that
Is a life only about you

It is not enough to travel
For a mountain is a mountain
Grand but a foot stool for the sky
It is not enough to take a photograph
For a picture is a picture
Beautiful in stillness as you take it with you
But can it feel how a child may cry
Or even tell you why

It is enough to think it through
If you will only do it
No matter where you are
Night after night
Pure empathy
Able to see food flow to their stomach
To see the part of their mind their father killed
To describe the sky not as blue
But as black
Decorated with lights hung by the gods
Because that's what it is
So tell them it is so

No matter what you are today
You can be someone new tomorrow
If you will only talk to them
Not the mountain
It won’t help you
It can’t

But actually it can
It will remind you that it is there
And that what is greater than you is true
It is not a trick
You can believe it
Being overwhelmed is not a lie
It is life
And it will accept you as you are
If you will let it happen

A bridge
Between people
Your past
Tomorrow
Life
Death
Love
Hate
Knowledge
Ignorance

You know enough now
You have the mind
Build the bridge

To see both sides
Is to become both sides

No matter where you are

An angels breath burned my bridges down
There's not enough faith if you don't cross
I was given the one chance to linger in town
Walking with voices offering to take me across

Playing with matches unable to find my way
My conscience knelt in a closet where I grieve
I pray alone as the sword decides who stays
She hid her beauty inside the empty sheath

I turned my back to gaze upon never again
But how can I say goodbye to all that I know?
I lied in my prayers though she was my friend
It was only sin that made me happy long ago

I can only believe what my soul tells me to
To every candle I ask the same question
Is it that I have always known what to do
Or are my bridges an angels reflection?

Everything you assume about me
Has already crossed my mind
But it doesn’t mean anything
Except something I’m trying to find

It’s nothing I’m trying to draw
It’s just bridges to the other side
I see the suggestions of life
And there is no reason to hide

But a suggestion is not a decision
And my wonder is only being free
For what I am thinking of my love
Are bridges that bring you to me

Broken minds
Broken bodies
Broken art  
Broken girl

What is the point of laughing anymore?
Dresden fires
Hiroshima pyres
Twenty two dead in Manchester
Twenty two dead in Manchester
Is it really true?
Is it really true?

Broken religion
Broken borders
Broken trust
Broken girl

What is the point of living anymore?
Planes and skyscrapers
Harbor infamy invaders
The god of Abraham silently weeps
The god of Abraham silently weeps
Can he hear you?
Can he hear you?

Broken world
Broken God
Broken belief
Broken girl

What is the point of dying anymore?
Suicide bomber
Children ******
Thou shalt not ****
Thou shalt not ****
It's nothing new
It's nothing new

You caught my eye
But you wouldn't play your part
You broke some glass
Then you broke my heart

Why does it always happen this way?
Everytime our eyes meet
You seem to walk away
Walk away
Far away

Breakin' bottles
Breakin' hearts
Pourin' dreams
When will love start?

Parting is upon us
Will the memory last?
Was that the one?
Or just another moment that passed?

Breakin' bottles
Breakin' hearts
Pourin' dreams
When will love start?

To suffer the pain of togetherness
Or the liberation of being a muse
It's not for me to say
I'll leave that for you to choose

Living as the dream
Living as the mystery
Living as the fantasy
Living as the hope

Breakin' bottles
Breakin' hearts
Pourin' dreams
When will love start?


Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserve. Mark Lecuona

Some things can't ever be replaced
A broken glass once held the water
But the water is still inside me
I’m just waiting for the spear to remind me

It’s not a bluff to get mad at somebody
They know how you felt
They may feel lucky to be alive still
As you showed them the strength of your will

What’s all this about hating a stranger
I need more than the gossip
If you loved me once I felt it
That’s the only way true anger will fit

But don’t get me wrong my friend
A bully doesn’t have to notice me
I can’t say God bless him
Even if God says ignore the victim

How can you ever feel lonely inside me
I know how to love you
But you have to let me hurt you too
The two sides of love is nothing new

I’m not walking the streets crying about it
But I did just one night
The glass broke while the water could only swear
That's when I noticed the cupboard was bare

We took our pound of flesh
And the scars are still fresh
But it’s deeper than that

He’s your new best you ever had
I’m the ex so that means I’m bad
I never needed stuff like that

You always talked about a soul mate
Now I’m living with my soul’s fate
But I can't worry about that

Love is deep
Losing is not
Bubblegum rhymes
Is all I’ve got

You buried me in the past
Our secrets are who we are
But only if you remember those times

He’s the star behind the curtain
It will soon part that’s for certain
I won’t be watching for that

You always liked the things I thought
He likes women who can be bought
You’ll soon see through that

We talked about God and desert sand
Now I’m a kid instead of a man
Losing at love always does that

Love is deep
Losing is not
Bubblegum rhymes
Is all I’ve got

You buried you in the past
Our secrets are who we are
But only if you remember those times

Western man is not a Stupa
To observe architecture is not to be
Even if you know why it was built that way
Or what it means

The iconography symbolizes our differences
Rotating to the East where the morning sun is seen

Relics of the death of desire walk freely inside

It’s shape

Earth
Water
Fire
Air
Space

The purified elements

Unknown to those who watch the sun set
And to those who remain trapped in their desire

And so

Do you **** or do you love?
Can you be both or neither?
Can you suffer without desire?
Can you desire and not suffer?
Can you love suffering and hate desire?
Will you die by desire
Will you live by suffering?

Without desire
You cannot love

Without suffering
You cannot feel

Are you afraid of pain?
Is pain life or death?

Do you understand the things you say?
Or what you wish to be?

The mountaintop is so lonely
It causes pain in those who need you

Yet

You

Avoid

Suffering

Is this life?
To eliminate
Desire?

Will you dig
Until you cannot see the sun or the stars?

What did you prove when you became immune

To passion?

Is it
the way
to end
all desire?

To end
all need?

To end
all experience?

To end
all feeling?

To end
all touching?

To end
all wanting?

To end
all expectation

In you?

I cannot end desire

Or suffering

Because
I cannot end life

Can you?

It is time to find yourself
What may have been your destiny
Has become a whispering voice
Sit next to me my friend
Tell me what you hear
Burden me with your grief
Ask me the questions of life
And though I may answer
I cannot change the past
Yet I wish to comfort you
To tell you of your beauty
Of the dignity within your pain
Of the purity of your thoughts
Of the worth in your suffering
For you, life has begun
You have known love and loss
Every emotion has become yours
You may begin again
With the wisdom of living
Of being a human being
With no fear of misunderstanding
With the honesty of one who grieves
Unafraid of sadness
Unafraid to bear your heart
Unafraid to cry
Unafraid to pray
Worthy of good
Worthy of blessings
Worthy of love
To receive
And to give
For as you knew to love your children
Now too you know how to say goodbye
It is the message you could only feel
Not from your parents
But from life
As not everything can be taught
We cannot be taught sadness
We do not seek this lesson
Though we know it is written
And while the world sleeps around you
You are now awake
Forever
Because life never sleeps for those who have suffered
But should life be easy or hard?
We experience day and night
But there is light at night
And shadows by day
And shadows by night
And light by day
There is good
And bad
In time you will know the answer
It will come to you along your new path
As you compare your misfortunes
With those of others
In the knowing that all men must perish
And that our time is not for our glory
But for his
And in this you find your place
So that you may heal again
As you ready yourself again for your life
Yes
Sit next to me my friend
And unburden yourself
For in troubles
We come closer to God
And in comfort
We come closer to each other

I have more than just flashes of reality
But only when I’m sober

And I know exactly what I’m waiting for

I am your only lover
The only one who really loved you
The only one unafraid to tell a table full of old men
And they would know not to laugh
Or to fantasize about you
At least not in front of me

You are not afraid to fly
Or to live without trying
The wind blows its own way
And that is how you see life
It is God’s will
Time never changes
You have chosen to ignore its effect
And if the plane crashes
You will silently pray for your mothers heart
While our love accepts its fate

You set fire to the roll of film
You wanted to **** it

But I kept a copy just in case

I finally impressed you again
I needed a lucky break
A way past the guards
And it made you angry
Because now you want to kiss me
Still you hesitate
Your lips remind you where they’ve been
How can you make it different this time
Where pleasure is no longer the path away from loneliness

I am your son my father
You have come to me in a dream
You are younger than I can remember
Because I’m not born yet
How can I tell her that what we shared is all there is
That we are meant for one another
And though we cannot behave any other way
What we shared with others we must share again

So many people are watching us
It’s as if we are making a speech about freedom
They want to know if we can find love again

I heard a song from long ago
And it felt like the time I heard it when I was young
It felt the same
But you are so much more
How can we not feel what I felt in the song?

I’ve been waiting all my life for that moment
And then when it was over we looked at each other
Just like you are looking at me now
Wanting me to kiss you
You want it to be my idea

And it is
That is why I tried to impress you

Kiss me my love
It will not be like the last man
It will be what you remember
But tried to forget

We can burn the film together

It's time to make a new one

I have one last dream to die for
But that is for my soul to decide
My eyes can no longer see light
I’m no longer in over my head
I’m beneath the life I once knew

As for someone kneeling on Sunday
Or a Rasta pushing a baby carriage
Can you imagine being judged?
I can only plead my case
I will know very soon what is true

Closer to the fire
Don't burn me before he decides
I want to know if he really means it
When he says I am the light

I have actually found God
While all you can do is believe
And it seems he knows everything
There is nothing I can say
My prayers are all I can point to

I want a tombstone with my name
My children can bring me flowers
Maybe they can save me
From the fire that is burning close
To the heart that sinned for you

Closer to the fire
Don't burn me before he decides
I want to know if he really means it
When he says I am the light

If you want to live free
Live free but don’t take free from me
If you want to save
Save yourself but don’t save me
If you want to be ruled
Subject yourself but do not subject me
If you want to change
Change but only I can change me
If you want to be vain
Be vain but don’t point the camera at me
If you want to be shallow
Be shallow but don’t drain the depth in me
If you don’t want to think
Don’t think but then why do you question me
If you are afraid of sin
Sin no more but don't throw rocks at me

but it was just a picture
or a painting

Yet I saw people walking
a funeral procession
or a celebration
I’d never walked like that in a crowd
not for a cause
or a memory
I wanted to care as much as they did
but it was just a picture
or a painting
It was in another part of the world
across the ocean
or the street
That part of the world is different
I’m not there
I don’t know them
It could be as bleak as ancient snow
from a memory
or a picture
Buried within five hundred pages
of a lost book
that was subversive
But that time passed long ago
the author is gone
as too his outrage
And so the minuet ended abruptly
they were disappointed
or just not ready to stop
The world was outside the window
sadists bent on order
no matter the cost
The room was silenced as they left
the sight of love comforted them
and they knew where it went
Away… always away
inside another heart
another life

It was just a painting though beautiful
how could someone know
how could they believe
But there was no time to touch the paint
it was only time for dreams
and to heal open wounds
It was time to think of a branch tapping a window
while a child wondered
wondered of his fate
But who would make him care beyond himself
he had a heart
but it was just a picture
Or so I thought
it was just a painting or a picture
yet I wept for its life
It was as real as life itself
it reminded me
of people I never knew
I wondered if he cared about others
he needed to hear a song
played by a genius
Would it stir his soul beyond his doubts
to write of suffering
and the tragedy of love
Like the people who silenced the room
because they were not in love
they had only danced together
Things are not as they appear sometimes
especially a painting
or a picture
You don’t know why they did it
the moment is gone
as is the feeling
But so many want their suffering known
does it help them
or all of us
We have to be able to care
and not assume
that it was their fault
That is why a painting is so much better
it’s not real
so suffering is not real
There is no suffering in the imagination
how could there be
it’s just a thought
But what imagination cannot think of others
could it ever be a painting
or a picture
Could it ever be if the painter didn’t suffer
for others
for strangers
Could a boy that was never alive change the world
a boy who could not sleep
because the world spoke plainly
Outside his window ready to enter when asked
but it was just a painting
or a picture
The artist neither closed her eyes or her ears
not to life
yours or her own
It was no longer a moment of gaiety
the boy was her own
and she wept
Though it was just a painting
or a picture
of her own imagination
And she wanted his father to say these things to her

"I want to tell you something
I’m in love with you
yes it is true
I see you smiling
but I want you to listen
this is the time for me to tell you
I can’t sleep
I worry about it too much
and I wonder if I can make you happy
So instead of all that I just want to say how I feel
we can talk about life later
but I want you to know that in this time in your life
I was in love with you
and it was real
and it was true
I don’t want to think about it anymore
I just want to say it
and I want to say it to you
In my dreams you never say anything
because I’m chasing you
for to love someone like you is a dream
A dream that is about finding myself
wondering if I am worth your life
because your life is everything to me now
And I know how important it is
I want to make you feel alive with passion
and I want you to think of me
when you want to be like that
I want you to think of me
when you are ready to give yourself away
when you want to fly there
To a place so high and far from your past
to a place that not even you could dream of
And when you give yourself away
it will be into my heart
there is so much room for you
But I wonder if it is enough
the weight of loving you is upon me now
but I’m ready my love
Because I love you
and now you know
because it was time"

but it was only a painting
or a picture
And she painted until her heart bled
and her hands
and her eyes
She bled until the painting became a curse
she could not look upon it
for it was her life
We would gaze upon it and gasp aloud
because of her capacity to suffer
and to tell everyone of it
But it was not to protest but to draw us near
for we were to numb to her heart
and to the wars written about long ago
It was incredibly personal
more than we would reveal
to anyone not a poet
She didn't care about this anymore
it was the only way to be free
though it was more than we could bear
But this, this was the way home
walking together
in a crowd of flowers
In common cause with her imagination
for we too wanted to live
inside a painting
or a picture

So someone would remember

On the one hand
     I am complete
But on the other
     I know I'm not

A forest is unaware of its beauty
Yet it never stops growing

On the one hand
     I am a mentor
But on the other  
     I'm never really sure

A teacher may never see the fruit
Yet he continues to plant

On the one hand
     I want love
But on the other
     I don't

The right one is almost not even there
But you are never alone

On the one hand
     I am a good father
But on the other
     I am not

They know that I love them
But I have my own life

It is the craziest of minds that cannot sleep

It tries to forget
To write of it is madness
But still it does
It tries not to see
To draw of it is madness
But still it does

There is no rationale for remembrance

It tries not to feel
To love it is madness
But still it does
It tries not to desire
To touch it is madness
But still it does

It is the destruction of the standards of dignity

It tries poise
To cry is madness
But still it does
It tries life
To **** itself is madness
But still it does

It is the craziest of minds that hurts itself

It tries to accept
To reject is madness
But still it does
It tries to conform
To deviate is madness
But still it does

I see you
We are the same
But we must shed our layers
Our pride
Our distance
All the things we assume to be true

It is our weakness that separates us

It is our fears that controls us

We cling to race
To flags
To Gods
And to gold
Because we are afraid

But the world that was promised
Is about faith
In God
And in love

We say we believe in God
And we say we believe in love
But we are lost

We accuse
Each another

We hate
Each other

We reject
Each other

We hide our hearts
Out of fear
We do not believe we are strong
So we run away
From love
From each other
And pretend to be strong

We are afraid of rejection
We give another human all the power
The power to destroy us
The power to judge us
By their standards
And not God's

In the night
All alone
In your silence
Your honesty is awake
That is who you are
Though I cannot see you then

What would happen if I was there?

But I see you now
We are the same
And now I stand naked before you

Look at me

I have nothing to hide
I don't care what you know about me
It doesn't matter
I am still what I am
Weak
Fearful

Because I only know that I am not long for this world
I can dig my grave now
I have a spoon
You see silver
I see rust

At least I don't have to use my hands

There is nothing that I can prove about what I know

There is nothing that I can prove about what I have done

There is nothing but us

There is nothing but love

But where is it?

The sun rose again this morning
Though it cares not how I feel
And when we part in sorrow
It is the moon that helps me heal
Though it whispers calm assurance
Sometimes I cannot believe it’s real
So I wait until the sun rises tomorrow
To know what truth the light shall reveal

I’m gonna’ stop worrying about getting hurt
It’s just a part of life
I’m gonna’ stop trying to be happy
I’m gonna’ get through it, because
A human is what I want to be

It’s alright if you get mad at me sometimes
It’s just a part of love
I’m gonna’ take it if it’s my fault
And even if it isn’t
I want to make it all work out

You can get hurt all day long if you let it
You can pretend it never happened if you forget it
Sometimes we think it’s better to find someone new
But I’m not going to run away from the feelings I have for you

I wonder if we were just full of bad luck
It’s just a part of losing
I’m not going to assume you were wrong
And even if you were
I know that it’s in my life that you belong

You know me now
I may have missed my chance
I may have hurt your pride
But I’m not afraid anymore
And if you could look at me
You’d see my heart by your side

You can get hurt all day long if you let it
You can pretend it never happened if you forget it
Sometimes we think it’s better to find someone new
But I’m not going to run away from the feelings I have for you

If the worst you can call me is naive
Then I will accept it
If the worst you can call me is pacifist
Then I will live it
Because if I am these things
Then I have conquered my nature
For it is the violence within
That heaven will judge for it's favor

Walk on alone
All alone
My sad eyed friend
Where you can find yourself again

Clouds that always seemed to follow
Don’t know upon which door to knock
You finally moved on, to where sunny skies called
Shadows on the beach forgot how to spoil your day

Walk on alone
All alone
My sad eyed friend
You need to forget where you’ve been

Four days alone and that was enough
A lifetime of troubles buried under the dunes
High tide rescue, pushing them all away
Leaving behind a glistening footprint canvas

Walk on alone
All alone
My sad eyed friend
I’ll join you when you say when

The flower is in full bloom
With exotic allure
Covering its true self
What it is I’m not really sure
I’ve lost my mind
As I want to possess
It is a calling
That a man cannot suppress
But the memory
Of a bleeding heart
And stained hands
Reveals love is more than art
Mi querida are you a rose
Or a daffodil?
Must I live with thorns
Or is your soul tranquil?
I stare into the painting
And touch your wild colors
Can you hold yourself in the moment
Or will you collapse like all the others?
Why do you want me
To be your lover?
Why do you show me a mirror
And hide behind my fantasy’s cover?
You cannot be a rose
If you are not
And even so
How do you know what I want?
Should you even try
To bring me near?
When the petals fall
Will the thorns appear?
Only you know the truth
Of who you are
I can only love
Someone who can share a scar
Don’t be what I want
Be who you are
Love will die
In soil we cannot share
Let the petals fall
And we will gather them together
Because we know they will
They cannot stay forever

Can a nation forgive?
Or must everyone die?
Which generation
Will walk a grudge by?
Did the Jews forgive?
Did Nagasaki forget?
How can the heart become
What the mind won’t let?
Did Jesus speak to you
Or to a nation?
Did he command the soul
Or write a Constitution?
Where exceptionalism is assumed
With a mandate from God
A people destroy the ground
Where holiness did trod
It is written
An eye for an eye
But is this for Caesar
Or for you and I?
It is written
Turn the other cheek
But is this for a superpower
Or only for the weak?
Why do we cheer
The death of a man
When God’s own son
Gave us a plan?
Or did he?
Can no man believe
That which his brother
Failed to conceive?
You abdicate your wishes
Behind a closed curtain
Believing in the good
Your vote always certain
The republic gathers its sons
And its daughters
But the outcome is decided
They’ve parted the waters
The collective never yields
The individual a myth
Ancient documents pretend
What rights do you walk with?
As the national interest swells
Our destiny is manifest
The chosen many
March East and West
Civilizing savages
Extracting resources
Stealing fruit from peasants
Mitigating encumbrances
The walls pushed further out
As we play in the yard
We pray before commerce
While someone stands guard
I call for our memory
Of a man in untouchable clothing
And for the son of slaves
To bring peaceful reckoning
Beaten down over and over
Suffering the indignities of a lifetime
Laying down before charging horses
To show us power’s crime
What is the seed of change?
An atomic bomb?
A protest march?
Or a Psalm?
What have you been told?
What have you witnessed?
A miracle has occurred
And yet you are calloused
I speak to you now
As you show me your smile
Will each eye seeks its mate?
Or will you walk the first mile?
And then the next
As it was spoken
But not for Caesar
For he will never be broken
Will you walk
And accept your mandate?
Will you give another man your coat
Or will you hesitate?
Can a nation forgive?
Can you or I?
Can a newborn baby?
Or will you teach it an eye for an eye?

Let’s forget about forever
And this talk about tomorrow
That’s what brings on the hurt
That's what brings on the sorrow

You and me live all alone
We both just need a friend
I’m not taking your hand
I just don’t want the night to end

I know how you feel
You wonder if you should let it show
Can a woman be so bold
To love a man and see him go?

As the shadows fall around you
Like all your mother's fears
I just want you to know
It’s not wrong to ignore her tears

It’s just another night
Will it be alone or will it be right?
Let’s not sit here and worry
That’s all for the morning light

I know how you feel
You wonder if you should let it show
Can a woman be so bold
To love a man and see him go?

It’s hard enough to walk away
So why make a promise?
After being so close
How could I be so heartless?

I saw somebody just like you in the park
She was smiling at someone
It finally hit me, walking away
You might could love someone else too

Can I see how we painted the magic
the way you could forget your manners
when you were alone with a man

I have to accept change
Like nature accepts the way it lives and dies
I have to watch out now
It’s laying all about

Can I see how we used to walk
like goose bumps through a forest
of hair standing on our arms

It’s like sleeping in the broom closet
No window and the darkness, so dark
As if the sun was never born
And taking pictures the only flash in its place

Can I see how I won your love
inside the eyes that wouldn’t let me go
until you realized it was true