wine n dine
they say
faux sophistication
how pretty

oh culture, they say
but there's a price to pay
for the theatre show
endorse inclusion yet divide into rows

the stage is free
art they say
entertain me in exchange for pay

******* culture
deeper entrenched
day by day

isn't it peculiar?
we are politically correct
yet flawed in every way
shhhhh, that's not what you are supposed to say

create
instigate
create
instigate

as soon as i flow freely
i remember
there's a gate
dragging me to the past
back on goes the cast
it happens so fast

it feels like fate
as if i am cemented into the gate
the gate to my past
any glimmer of hope dashed in a blast
it happens so fast

my life is juxtaposition
of attempts to succeed
and temptation to bleed
addicted to pain
as if by virtue of loss there's nothing to gain

life punctuated by pain
i lay in bed
to rest my head
but there is goes again
my inner critic awakens
i submit, forsaken

the space where my life begins and ends
the juxtaposition reinforced
success left at the door
and pain endorsed

do you ever just wonder
and ponder on death?

do you ever look to the sky
and envision your last good bye?

do you ever just look to depths above
and picture the end of love?

do you ever flirt with ideas
and wish the truth existed in tiers?

i wonder where my body resides when i die
will it be up in that same alleged heavenly sky?
or will i be ash particles
or will i be washed away at sea
or will i be surrounded by soil

regardless of wherever i lay
the real question is
whether above, in ashes, in the ground or at sea
will i be at peace?
will i finally be free to be me?