It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

When I see you my chest tightens
Suffocating under your stare
I can feel your hand around my throat
Pinning my body to the bed
Choking, gasping, crying

When I see you my skin crawls
I can feel your body
Forcing its way inside mine
Using me as an object
Made for your pleasure

When I hear you speak I taste blood
Biting my tongue
To keep your secret
I can hear every threat
You used to keep me quiet

Gather near
Young and old
A story of Winter to be told
The Blue-Haired Monster smiled at me
Then stole my soul with wicked glee
He knows my name

Gather near
Boys and girls
The Blue-Haired Monster’s tangled curls
Warned me of the danger
Yet stuck in the remainder
It knows my name

I told him a bedtime story tonight
stood over him as he thrashed
mad in the throes of far away passion
                  wild in the warm embrace of jack and coke
he needed a happy story
so I told him one
about two beautiful princes
who fell in love
and saved the world
                                 what were their names?  
I told him their names
and he fell asleep, lost in dreams of a world
where two princes in love
would be a completely normal thing

You are the poem
I will never stop trying
to write.