maybe it was drugs maybe it was love maybe it was something else

I kissed you that day but I blame you for being gorgeous
everyone is addicted to something, you were mine addiction

the kids were a mess and everything was dark, a good kind of dark
I was cold but you always kissed me, even that forbidden night

nobody was patient and nobody was fine and nobody knew love
we were loving to each other when the others weren't watching

this love was bad, you were bad, I was bad, the world was bad
you could turn an angel into a demon without even trying

and I saw you staring at me again that night, I notice everything you do
it was the same look again and I couldn't do anything to handle myself

maybe I hugged you and it was wrong of me to do that
maybe you kissed me on that midnight street and it felt right

this fairytale isn't finished yet and everything will end up destroyed

so maybe it was the drugs or maybe this is all made up in my head.

the angels ****** me up with their blue heavenly demon eyes
and still everything just seems more clear here on the other side

you were white and I was black, you were the sun and I the moon
most of the time we belonged to each other, we just never belonged

it was a game for the one's who wanted to play, you never wanted to play

love was like walking when there was no rain, walking in the sun
and leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did, until I did it

you never loved reading books the way I did, we were different
but again we always knew that we were not the same human being

this boy would consider himself smart when I could only see sadness
his broken dreams made me question my own broken little world

I wanted to escape for the summer, maybe for the rest of my life
living my life on the run, forever avoiding your killer green eyes

I could never swim in cold water and you were never here to teach me

I was living for the nights where I didn't cry myself to sleep
the days were my stomach wasn't filled with medication I didn't need

it was like you all stopped caring about me when my eyes went dark
you were afraid of me and I could understand why, I was afraid too

making fun of yourself in a non self harming way is one thing I couldn't
self harming in a way it was fun for the both of us, is what I always could

mama told you it was because of the friends you made outside
the truth is I don't have a clue about what she is talking, friends?

so there once was a girl and everyone thought she was special
a rare kind of special, you could look at her and forget all your misery

your daddy never loved you and thats why you are so ****** up
your family abandoned you and now you are here all alone, again

but don't you worry pretty thing, nobody will cry for you this time

always talking about trying to fix us, always talking, never actions

the people in her home town told her she was going to hell
and she always smiled because maybe hell is where she belonged

sick of hiding and always trying to fit into this messed up broken world
maybe this little thing was enough for her to go away for good..

because at this tiny magical moment where you stopped caring about me
so did I.

will tomorrow feel like yesterday if we do meet again today
it was like breathing but different, yesterday we felt more alive

these days you don't know how to act normally without your pills
and these are also the days you don't how to feel anything without them

maybe it was love last night maybe it was just another misunderstanding
the thing I know is that you made me feel uncomfortable in a good way

you thought I couldn't see how ****** up you were because it was dark
but my heart was just as dark and I could see right through you..

maybe it felt like being in love with someone you only just met
picking flowers in a field where everything was already dying of pain

oh yesterday was a special night, kind of broken yet a rare kind of magical

we didn't even kiss last night you just held my hand all night long
we had a great time and we laughed a lot and you were nice to me

and maybe that was love

I could swallow a pill to take away the poison, I could do it all
my heart was beating for the people who didn't have one

dancing in a crowded room with all kind of different people, wonderful
drinking to much alcohol and you knew this was going to be the night

he never loved her in the way she loved him or he just never showed it
either you want me or you don't, just know that I am going tomorrow

she was leaving to a place were nobody would know her name, no one
somewhere were she could find peace and happiness with another human

after I told you to leave, you didn't even try to stay in my life, you left
my door was open, my heart was open and there you went, like the wind

the flowers kept growing just as the distance between us, the distance
once we were close, we couldn't be apart, that was a long time ago

he loved reading novels and so did she, they were the same yet weren't
they weren't the same but maybe they wanted to be the same ..

he loved reading novels and she pretended that her life was one...
but he always was a little bit broken, a little lost, he could never save her

heroes don't belong in a world were everything is perfect.

everyone was in love with when you didn't even love yourself

cause you are now eighteen and drink a little less than you did before
everything what once happened in your life still ***** you up every day
but you found other ways too deal with it, you found the peace within

cause you are now eighteen and still sleep with stuffed animals in bed
and sometimes the scars on your arms take you back into the past..
you can see yourself laying on the ground again, bruised and broken..

growing older was like looking in the mirror but than looking deeper
your hair went from blonde to black, your freckles were fading..
but you still looked beautiful, she always looked wonderful, dramatic

she always was the laugh of the party, she was crazy, she was fearless
and all that you could see of her was only the half of what she really was

when it was cold outside no angel was going to spread his wings
in darkness it was just you and me and no one who would save us
I missed the little talks we always had on our way home, back to you

everyone was in love with her and she was the only one who didn't see it.

I wrote this poem because you never did

you were my friend and I loved you for everything you were
the tears you cried because you were insecure, not beautiful enough
the smiles you smiled because you could even enjoy the little things in life
the fights we had because we were always oh so stubborn..

we always found a way back to each other, that was our friendship
it was like a mountain and believe me at one point we did reach the top
but also at that point we were starting to fall down and we fell hard..

you were the one who always cared about me even when I didn't
but you also were the one who always was jealous at the things I had
most times because of me you never felt good enough that must hurt..
and I know I made some bad decisions and you didn't deserve my choices

but I wont ever forgive you for stabbing me, our friendship in the back
for leaving me when I needed you the most all because you were scared

she always was afraid, never had the guts to chase her own dreams
always lived up to the expectations from her mother, she was weak

you dropped out of school and started to gain weight, we could see
we drank more alcohol and let go of the stress and anger we felt..

both we had ways to deal with our problems, this was the end my dear

and I can still see you dancing in my room singing all the lyrics wrong
and I can still see you laying down in the grass counting the stars
and I can still hear you say how you would never leave me alone....

so this friendship was broken and so was a piece of my heart...
I hate you believe me I do but still you have my favorite memories..

the children with the masks starting to count down from six to zero
nobody knew what was happening yet they all knew what was going on
it was a sick and twisted game and there was no price you could win

the night was falling and the counting stopped and so did her heart
the angels were done beating her to death and the demons were laughing
the children with the masks were still smiling everything went wrong..

you could run for your life and all the humans you needed to save
but they will catch you, they will hunt you down and break you break...

two wrongs no rights all the broken ones lost each other that night

I always could care less about my own feelings as long as you are okay

you are my favorite human being because you make me feel complete
because she was the only one who didn't see me as a crazy psychopath

and I thought she was so beautiful with her green eyes and white scars
it was the kind of beauty not a single soul could ever describe.

this girl was the light in my world and yeah she kinda saved my life
all the demons were gone whenever she was near me, she was my angel

the way you talk about your passion for guitars and your favorite bands
I love you for the way you speak about life and our future together..

and would never ever dare to let you go my darling, you are mine

you are so insanely sweet and so insanely beautiful, you cant even see it
I love you for everything that you are and everything you want to be

this cant be healthy now how much I want to be with you, always