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 Mar 2018 laura-jessica
alexa
there are so many of you
that i would love to sit down with;
maybe over a milkshake and a plate of fries;
and just talk.
i want to ask you about the boy that hurt you,
about the anger you feel deep inside
over a father who said he’d come back...
and then didn’t.
i want to run with you through pages of words and say
“oh that’s right, what a lovely metaphor.”
i want to see all your smiling faces and
thank each and every one of you for showing me kindness,
for saving my life.
i want to collaborate on novels of poetry
and laugh with you through the tears of our pasts.
so until we sip those milkshakes and eat those fries...
thank you, to
some of the most beautiful people i have never met.
to all my HePo followers/friends/ fellow poets! you have all given me a beautiful escape from Life <3
Back in the day
Church was the first
And only
Social media
 Mar 2018 laura-jessica
wordvango
Just give me
A twelve pack
Olde English
A carton of cigarettes
A working lighter
And 3G data connection
A big bottle of febreeze
Ramen noodles and water
One roll of Scott's tissue
I could be a recluse
And probably write a poem
That made sense.
Maybe I'd run off with
The mouse
Never to be heard from
Again.
 Mar 2018 laura-jessica
Parker
It started with a single voice
Telling him to jump off the roof
Now, his head is full of voices
and as far as I know, they are all cruel

It started with a single voice
Now, one of them has replicated me
Convincing him that I have wronged him
Giving no power to my actual voice

It started with a single voice
Now, he believes everyone attempts to **** him
That the world is conspiring against him
That his thoughts have the power to take lives

It started with a single voice
Now, he sleeps in a locked monitored room
Drugged up with anti psychotics
Angry and confused
Over the last year and a half I watched as schizophrenia consumed everything my little brother had going for him, Causing him more mental suffering then I have ever see anyone experience. Watching the pain of his condition ******* my family and his future has left me at odds with my own journey. Just a for warning, my brothers predisposition was ignited by him trying lsd. You never know how much you cherish your loved ones being of sound mind until they're gone.
 Mar 2018 laura-jessica
Lucy
Give up, don't fight
**** myself tonight
It's not what I want
It is how I feel
I don't like to tell ya
But I somehow gotta deal

But maybe
It's the other way around
Cause at this point
I don't really know
What I truly Feel
If I feel at all
What I really think consciously
Conjure up at will

Put a pen to the paper
A keyboard to the screen
Post my poems online so I can finally be seen

I crave connection
Like all humans do
But as someone like me
I crave solitude

Get up, no spite
Safe myself tonight
It is what I want
Kinda how I feel
I really need to tell ya
To finally make the deal
 Mar 2018 laura-jessica
Jack
What would happen if I die?
Would anyone I love even cry?
Only capable of lust and to lie,
I wonder what it would be like to fly.

What would happen if I die?
Maybe it’s worth a try.
It’s not time yet though. Stay safe and live well. JYx
 Mar 2018 laura-jessica
Jessy
It’s the little things
That go unnoticed first.

I didn’t notice when
My dad got a haircut
My mom got new glasses?
I didn’t notice.
My friend bought a new dress.
Oh, I didn’t even realize.

But then the little things
Become bigger things.

My brother got a new car.
My sister got engaged.
My boyfriend switched schools.

And then they become
Really big things.

My dad had an affair.
My mom filed for divorce.
My best friend moved across the world.
My brother got put in prison.
My sister didn’t invite me to the wedding.
My boyfriend left me for someone else.

And quickly
My life is in ruins
Lying like a broken city
Scattered all over the ground
And I didn’t even notice
When all of this happened

Everything fell apart
Right in front of my eyes
And I didn't even notice.
Don’t talk to me in that tone!
Yes, mother, I apologize for my insolent self.

Why can’t you be more like your brother? He’s younger than you!
Yes, mother, I apologize for my insolent self.

You need to lose weight! You’re too fat!
Yes, mother, I apologize for my insolent self.

I am the mother! You are the daughter! I own you!
Yes, mother, I apologize for my insolent self.

You are such a disappointment.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry mother.
I’m not the daughter you expect of me.
I will be
better.

Why am I never good enough for you?
You comment on my flaws, constantly, diminishing my already low self-esteem.
You compare me to others, saying how I should be more “like them.”
Will you love me if I’m compliant with your every wish?
I’m sorry I’m not your perfect daughter.
Stop reminding me that you love my brother more than me.

I’m sorry.
For being who I am.
For being different.
For bringing you pain.
For not being enough.

Please. Stop. Don't.
Your words. Won't leave.
My head. Hurts.
I don't want to listen.
Make it stop.
I can't take it anymore.
SHUT UP!

I’m sick of listening.
I’m sick of you.
I hate myself.
I hate you.

I know.
I should be more like him.
I know.
I am not perfect.
I know.
I do not have your love.
I know.
You hate me.
I KNOW.
I’m a disappointment.
this is a rant that I needed to get out the only way I know how, through poetry. Most Of it is true while some is made up to make the poem better. Like, love, repost, comment.
 Mar 2018 laura-jessica
Jessy
crying on the floor
drowning in my tears
a puddle of salt water

cutting open wounds
drowning in my own blood
a puddle of redness

constantly overthinking
drowning in my depression
a puddle of self hatred
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