bury me into the ground.
i am lost, i cannot be found.
but if you happen to find me,
please return me to where i belong;
at the bottom of the deep blue sea.
i am
drowning
in
the
ocean
but
it's
not
the
water
that's
suffocating
me.
my emotions, so strong they're strangling me.
my thoughts, they terrify me.
i would rather live on my knees than die on my feet.
tie me to your car and drag me through the street.
make my skin bleed, tear my thighs.
this doesn't hurt at all, i feel sky high.
to destroy my emotions is to exploit my pain.
this is my release, i am not insane.
i am not insane.
i am not insane.
i am not insane.
i
am
not
insane
i
am
nothing
at
all.
     bury me anywhere
i dont care i dont care i dont care

i dont exist
i am not even imaginary
please dont insist
that i am extraordinary

just leave me alone
with my ocean;
my home.
let the liquid fill my lungs
as i float
float
float
i am weightless;
i am nothing.
never was something.
never want to be.
i am always drowning in the deep blue sea.

I haven't slept in quite a few days.
A week maybe.
The occasional hour of nightmare ridden rest
has not done anything for me.

I've starting forgetting words,
Mixing them up or saying the wrong word.
Even mispronouncing them.
I barely have the energy to think

I spent an hour crying because I thought I had wrinkles under my eyes,
But they were only bags and shadows.
I'm too young for this.

It's hard to focus,
I sob and laugh for no reason.
I'm cracking
And I can't stop thinking about what you did.
I'm afraid to sleep.

The day
you were born
was the day
I started **living

i want to be poetic
but i cant...

     i want to feel needed
     but i don't...

i want to seem together
but i’m not...

     i want to know something
     but i won’t ...

                              ...ever it seems

You know,

words are just letters

thrown together in clumps.

My eyes are beautiful, she says.
She must dig the haunted, empty look.

My smile is gorgeous, she says.
My tongue has felt those chips and nicks far too often to agree.

My arms look strong, she says.
I am surprised—she’s seen the scars.

My hands stir her, she says.
There is nothing elegant about them.

She loves me too, she says.
Even as we recall all the times I traumatized her.

She will never leave me, she says.
Dear God—that’s what I was afraid of.

She’d never do better than me, she says.
At that, I bite my tongue.

She doesn’t know what I see in her, she says.
And this, I think, is why we keep each other around.

You are amazing.

After what seemed like a lifetime of fervently searching through endless, abyssal, darkness, I have found a stunning array of the most spectacularly luminous qualities, in you. It may be hopelessly cliché, but you are the light at the end of the tunnel.

It is breathtakingly difficult to describe quite how fantastic you are. You are elusive, like a single, pure, white Trillium in a forest of ivy. Your beauty is beyond both simile and metaphor; to your form, there is no comparison. If it is possible for a person to be flawless, then I am sure that you are.

Every word you say captivates my undivided attention, and leaves me hoping for more. I am enraptured by every move your body makes. When you sing, I feel my pulse quicken, and I could listen for hours. When you dance, my eyes follow every action with genuine appreciation for your graceful motion.

No matter what I am doing, I catch myself thinking about you throughout the day, wishing I was next to you. You are everything I want, and more than I could ever ask for. You aren't afraid to laugh like a fool, or cry like a child, or scream at the top of your lungs, or smile like you've never felt pain.

Everything about you makes me crazy over you, and, sometimes, it's easy to question whether someone as incredible as you can even be real...