I'm falling.

No, not that kind of falling you feel when you begin to like someone.

No, not that kind of falling you feel when you trip over a curb.

No, not that kind of falling you feel when you collapse into a warm bed.

No.

I can't believe how emotionless I can be in this situation. I can't feel any guilt at the moment.

I want to but I can't.

My soul, the one thing that no one can really see is falling.

I'm am falling away from the Father.

I have been ignorant and selfish and every time I ask to be forgiven, it seems I've turned away again.

Tears have overwhelmed my eyes, but now, I can't feel anything.

Maybe thats just me being selfish, wanting the world more than I want my own creator.

I shouldn't be like this...

A falling soul is much more painful than a broken heart, a cut knee, or an over slept morning, for it's rarely noticed, and if it is, it's too late.

(j.a.r.)

I am learning to walk, just like you.

The bruises on my hands and feet are only there because of trips and falls;

where as one might stay down, I choose to try again.

Feeling guilty and worthless, it's hard to keep going the more I fall.

For it feels as if I'm opening up a closed wound, allowing it to fester and ache again in the dry air of the world.

I need to regain my balance once more.

Oh Lord please help me.

can a mirage be real if you feel it only in your heart?

//

(j.a.r.)

I can't seem to understand when a person says you're less annoying that it is meant to be taken as a compliment.

Or that poking at you're stomach is a sign of friendship, and then comparing it to someone else when I feel uncomfortable about it.

What in the hell crossed my mind when you did that?

Oh, thanks. It means so much, especially coming from you.

As if I need your approval on everything?

When we aren't even around each other, I can tell you don't even care to ask how I am doing.

When I am sitting parallel to you at last, you finally have the nerve to ask about me.

As if you actually care?

As if every little detail about me was important only when you wanted it to be?

Your best friend is a sweetheart, but still I can tell how much you rub off on him.

Even now, he's beginning to avoid me.

Not answering my texts or calls, both of you are just so stuck on yourselves.

As if you are the best thing that's happened since sliced bread?

Haha, as if...

(j.a.r.)

Often times I don't know what I'm going to write about, so I usually end up writing things I have already said, trying to say them in another way.

The art of losing yourself is a very slow and complex situation that happens over a long period of time. For some people that could be years and it seems like it happens in a day, and others it could happen in a day and seem like years went by before they even realized what happened.

Either way, some how it takes a while, whether it's reality or only in our mind, we eventually lose ourselves somewhere in life.

We like to blame false lovers for stealing our heart, our thoughts, and consuming our whole mind, but honestly it's just our soul chewing away at the doubt inside of us trying with every bite to numb the pain.

We choose to blame the lack of income and the multitude of outcome that leaves our pockets turing over and over for our pain.  We expect money to be right at our command, at the tips of our fingers every night, and stacked in our account with tons interest to water the greens.

We feed off of happy memories, expecting life to only be them, and anything other is a disappointment. We are so blind that we can't even appreciate the color that has already adapted in our brains.

The art of losing yourself is worth it, because in the end, you will always find yourself and a little bit more than what you ever dreamed of.

(j.a.r.)

how can I feel like flying and dying without you.

~ a ten word story

(J.a.R)

stop making me feel like fire and ice all together.

~a ten word story

(j.a.r.)